16+ Language

The Apparatus

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.

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“Ugh!”

“What’s the matter now, Sarah?”

“I dropped this stupid ball again! I can’t stand it!”

“Woah, you’ll knock something over… Well, now it’s gone. Who knows where it ended up.”

“Who cares?”

“Your coach does, and since I’m her, I want you to go over there and find it. Don’t you roll your eyes at me, young lady. You’ve been training for six hours, and thanks to your new attitude, you just made it an additional two.”

“Seriously, Laura— Fine. Here’s the ball. Can’t we work on another apparatus, like ribbon?!”

“So you can waste your time on something else? Yeah, no… Okay, get into your starting position. I want you to go through the routine without the music. Don’t think of anything else, not the timing, not your technique, just keep your eyes on the ball. Ready?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Go.”

“Ohh, I lost the ball again. What’s wrong with me?”

“Well, you were pretty good up until the end of the routine.”

“Obviously, it’s not good enough if I can’t control the ball. World Championship’s Silver Medalist, and this is where I am: chasing after a small rubber ball. I’ll be a laughing stock at trials.”

“Look on the bright side. Trials aren't for another two months, so you’ll have plenty of time to perfect your routines. And you’re a [i]monster[/i] with the ribbon. Even if your ball routine isn’t spectacular, it won’t be enough to end your chances at the Olympics.”

“But—”

“But nothing. Come here; sit with me for a moment. Listen, Sarah: I don’t know what’s going on with you, but you can’t doubt yourself like this. Not when you’re this close to Olympic trials. You have to be mentally prepared. Mistakes happen. I’ve been there. You’ve been there. The best of the best in the world have been there time and time again.”

“I know…”

“So, don’t beat yourself up about it. Pressure is good, but it can be one son of a bitch. Too much pressure can hurt you so much up here.”

“Laura, this could be my only chance to make it to the Olympics.”

“Were you even listening to me? Kid, you’re sixteen years old. You are young and healthy. Even if you don’t make the team (don’t look at me like that, I said if), your career isn’t over. By 2028, you’ll still be a rythmast gymnast. And the next four years, and the next. A lot of athletes return for multiple Games.”

“I guess that’s true. It’s just— I worked so hard to get to this point. Starting late, the costs. I just don’t want to let my family down. They sacrificed so much to help me do this sport. If I fail now, it’s like I’m shitting on them for believing in me.”

“Aw, kid, don’t make me tear up. Come here. You won a bunch of medals, you’re talented and hardworking. Everyone at the gym loves and respects you. You’re amazing, you know that?”

“Hmm.”

“I mean it. Whatever happens here or two months from now, nothing will change about your skills. Everyone has an off day. But you have a passion and love for this sport, and if you carry that with you to training or competition, you’ll accept those little mistakes and grow from them. [b]Go and be an Olympian.[/b] We’re all behind you.”

“Wow, Laura. I never knew you actually had a heart. Yikes, I’m kidding, haha. But, really, thanks for that. That–that meant a lot. I think I want to practice my ball routine again.”

“As long as you’re not going to damage my property, I think that’s a good idea.”

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kaitlyn
Review
kaitlyn wrote a review · Sat Aug 10, 2024 3:53 am

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Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm Kate and I'm here to leave a quick review!!


First Impression

I think this was a lovely little tale. There's quite a lot of detail packed in there for something constructed entirely out of dialogue and it really brought to the fore a lot of powerful emotions.

Anyway let's get right to: Kate's Line by Line Reactions;

“Ugh!”

“What’s the matter now, Sarah?”

“I dropped this stupid ball again! I can’t stand it!”

“Woah, you’ll knock something over… Well, now it’s gone. Who knows where it ended up.”

“Who cares?”

“Your coach does, and since I’m her, I want you to go over there and find it. Don’t you roll your eyes at me, young lady. You’ve been training for six hours, and thanks to your new attitude, you just made it an additional two.”


Well that's a bit of a rough start there losing a ball right a things are underfoot. It looks like its not going to end well as a result of it either if the general rection by everyone else is anything to go off of there.

“Seriously, Laura— Fine. Here’s the ball. Can’t we work on another apparatus, like ribbon?!”

“So you can waste your time on something else? Yeah, no… Okay, get into your starting position. I want you to go through the routine without the music. Don’t think of anything else, not the timing, not your technique, just keep your eyes on the ball. Ready?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Go.”


Well looks like we're getting a second chance there to try and get things done after all. We'll see how this is going to go. I get the feeling maybe things aren't going to just work out here.

“Ohh, I lost the ball again. What’s wrong with me?”

“Well, you were pretty good up until the end of the routine.”

“Obviously, it’s not good enough if I can’t control the ball. World Championship’s Silver Medalist, and this is where I am: chasing after a small rubber ball. I’ll be a laughing stock at trials.”

“Look on the bright side. Trials aren't for another two months, so you’ll have plenty of time to perfect your routines. And you’re a monster with the ribbon. Even if your ball routine isn’t spectacular, it won’t be enough to end your chances at the Olympics.”


Well looks like we've got some support coming in at least as the failures pile on. Good to see some encouragement going on there. It looks like there's some good support and care there after all. I was starting to doubt that for a moment there.

“But—”

“But nothing. Come here; sit with me for a moment. Listen, Sarah: I don’t know what’s going on with you, but you can’t doubt yourself like this. Not when you’re this close to Olympic trials. You have to be mentally prepared. Mistakes happen. I’ve been there. You’ve been there. The best of the best in the world have been there time and time again.”

“I know…”

“So, don’t beat yourself up about it. Pressure is good, but it can be one son of a bitch. Too much pressure can hurt you so much up here.”

“Laura, this could be my only chance to make it to the Olympics.”


Ooh well here comes a nice comforting pep talk there. That looks like its getting through well I think. You can really see the amount of doubts running through there and the pressure on it and we see that each point is being quite nicely addressed.

“Were you even listening to me? Kid, you’re sixteen years old. You are young and healthy. Even if you don’t make the team (don’t look at me like that, I said if), your career isn’t over. By 2028, you’ll still be a rythmast gymnast. And the next four years, and the next. A lot of athletes return for multiple Games.”

“I guess that’s true. It’s just— I worked so hard to get to this point. Starting late, the costs. I just don’t want to let my family down. They sacrificed so much to help me do this sport. If I fail now, it’s like I’m shitting on them for believing in me.”

“Aw, kid, don’t make me tear up. Come here. You won a bunch of medals, you’re talented and hardworking. Everyone at the gym loves and respects you. You’re amazing, you know that?”


Well things are slowly unravelling it seems as far as unpacking all of those hidden worries is concerned. Really playing in slowly to show everything that's been weighing this person down here. I think you do a great job showing that even just through dialogue.

“Hmm.”

“I mean it. Whatever happens here or two months from now, nothing will change about your skills. Everyone has an off day. But you have a passion and love for this sport, and if you carry that with you to training or competition, you’ll accept those little mistakes and grow from them. Go and be an Olympian. We’re all behind you.”

“Wow, Laura. I never knew you actually had a heart. Yikes, I’m kidding, haha. But, really, thanks for that. That–that meant a lot. I think I want to practice my ball routine again.”

“As long as you’re not going to damage my property, I think that’s a good idea.”


Well looks like that was quite an effective little pep talk after all, doing the most important thing there of making the person feel secure about where they are and what they want to be doing. Its a lovely point to be ending on there.

Aaand that's it for this oneee!!!

Overall

Overall I think it makes for a powerful little piece here and a lovely little pep talk towards the end there. It took a second for it to fully come through but when it did it was really nicely done.

As always remember to: Take what you think was helpful and forget the rest!

Stay Safe and Have a Nice Day!
Kate


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Cheerio
Review

Hey there! This was a cute and motivating short story. I loved how the coach tried to keep her spirits up and re-motivate her. The message is clear: no one needs to face their challenges alone, and with the right support, it is possible to rise above difficulties and achieve greatness. Very well done, keep writing.

Thank you for your review!



Not me seeing all these wall posts about peoples quotes and wondering: "When will it be my turn?"
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