So gentle,
a poem
The men with masks
So gentle, as if with glass
Lift him from the ground
In midst of the meltdown
His Chernobyl heart
Stutters, as children in the dark
The evening news
Interviews the sky on why it’s blue
“Don’t fall, don’t fall, don’t fall”
So high is quite far from so tall
All his prayers are made to Atlas
Every dollar spent on habits
The role of villain became so habitual
Lusting for riches became so ritual
Suddenly his God was but a visual
One he claimed to see, just to feel usual
The women with masks
So gentle, as if with glass
Tuck him into bed
No bedtime story read
His Holocaust soul
Unfurls, as breath in the cold
The New York Times
Writes about his crimes in rhyme
“Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry”
To sleep is not far from to die
All the rain transforms into ink
Pens a signature as he thinks
Haunted by a cathedral of memories
Raised to religions of pain
With stain glass so pretty
He almost forgets the stains
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,005 Literary Works • 672,801 Reviews
Hi! Amddog here for a review
Amazing
Astounding
Extravagant
Supercalafragilisticespialydocsious. (think i spelled that wrong but whatever)
Words could not explain how wonderful this poem is!!! It has beautiful rhythm, great rhymes and etc. I couldn't find any grammar mistakes but I suck at grammar. I'm not a stitch in the side so I didn't find any thing bad!!!
Keep up the good work!!!
Oooh I like this. You create an emotional ambiance for the reader to dance across as the are drawn into your impactful story of someone giving up on what they use to believe in. The words are really pretty yet sad as if a ice crystal is withering away at the slightest touch. The imagery of rain turning to ink creates the image of something needed transforming to something unwanted - a burden on all those at the receiving end. Another impactful line is Haunted by a cathedral of memories this really drags on the reader as they watch something thought of as a save haven twist into a terrifying ghost that crawls through their hope and dwindles their peace. Overall I think that this is a very creative poem and I would love to read more of your work! -Marshymallow
It's beautifully framed. Really. And if you wanna write something on a serious note, you could use words as sentences. You know what I mean? Like- Pain. Full stop. Just an effect. But this is brilliant.
Wow, just to start off, this is a really great poem, it seriously gave me chills. I love the repetition used for "don't cry" and "don't fall" used here. The simile between "to sleep" and "to die", is also really strong.
I myself am a Christian, and I believe in God. So to read a poem about someone losing their faith, impacts me more than it might others. This poem is a bit of yourself, your struggles, and your life so far. That alone is what I think makes this poem so unique, and the same goes for other poems like that. When they reflect yourself, who you are, or what you've gone through, those are my favorite because it's almost like getting a glimpse into someone else's life or hardships.
I love reading poems telling tales of hard times, because I can easily relate and it makes me feel like I'm not alone in certain areas of struggle.
Overall, I think this is a beautiful poem, and if you'd ever want to talk about your faith, I'd be more than happy to chat or message with you.
Hey thanks octoberskye, it was really emotional to write. I didn't plan it, it just all came out. I'm glad you liked it.
I totally understand. Been there, done that. I had some frustration toward a friend, and ended up writing it all down on paper without really thinking about it. Keep writing