Call up your demons; in droves here they come,
Singing and biting and scratching, da-dum.
Screaming, they dance, with sun scorching in tow,
Through the cracked desert, oh-whoa.
Early that morning, a slip of the mind
(Step-stones in thought-streams are slick when you're blind)
Readied a feast for them; now they can't stop,
Those fiends from the night-pits, clip-clop.
Now call your hearth-gods to hold back the night.
Raise your arms westward and cry for the light.
Humming, the air splits and lets the wind go,
The sky-lords skim o'er the dust, lo!
Eternity's kingdom-waves crest 'top their pyre,
The night-army froths; knife-tongues bared, it spits fire.
Swelling, the sky-army blasts (as worlds quake)
Light-bolts from hands splayed; waves break.
You shake, bound by storm-straits, calamity's hand.
The gods fork through clouds, take the sky, take the land.
The demons slide under the ground; freed, you sigh.
The gods call their chariots, fly.
The land falls away from you; shapes blur and bend.
The battle is done, but your war has no end.
And while you are fighting 'gainst all mortals' bane,
Your mind falls to ruins. Again!
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125,012 Literary Works • 672,841 Reviews
This is an amazing poem :3 Really well written and I love your rhythm and diction. Now quoting people beneath.
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"
BloodinkSeesFootage says...
I love the idea here, of something that looks like an Ancient Greek battle.
Your description is really vivid. Especially within this stanza:
'Eternity's kingdom-waves crest 'top their pyre,
The night-army froths; knife-tongues bared, it spits fire.
Swelling, the sky-army blasts (as worlds quake)
Light-bolts from hands splayed; waves break.'
Lots of pathetic fallacy in there which makes for great reading, and the way you structure it so neatly also makes easy reading and it's very enjoyable
rhiasofia says...
"rhiasofia says...
This poem possesses such a wonderful rhythm, and it makes it feel so powerful. The way you wrote it just demands to be heard, it feels loud and important, which is wonderful.
I like the bit of whimsy and fantasy here, it makes it interesting and fun to read. It's also so full of action.
(Step-stones in thought-streams are slick when you're blind)
Something about this sentence really drew me in. I read it several times, it was just such an interesting thing to me.
The ending is also awesome, kind of a sad statement on the things we are constantly fighting for. "
Pretty much sums it up for me :3 Keep up the amazing work
~fallen
This is a wonderful poem.
Now quoting what the people beneath have said:
They have said everything that I wanted to say. I bid you good night.
I love the idea here, of something that looks like an Ancient Greek battle.
Your description is really vivid. Especially within this stanza:
'Eternity's kingdom-waves crest 'top their pyre,
The night-army froths; knife-tongues bared, it spits fire.
Swelling, the sky-army blasts (as worlds quake)
Light-bolts from hands splayed; waves break.'
Lots of pathetic fallacy in there which makes for great reading, and the way you structure it so neatly also makes easy reading and it's very enjoyable
Good work.
I would like to see more of this calibre in the future. XD
Thanks a lot! I appreciate the review, and I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Hello, review time!
Seems like we're both pretty new to this site. Hope you're enjoying it, too.
This poem possesses such a wonderful rhythm, and it makes it feel so powerful. The way you wrote it just demands to be heard, it feels loud and important, which is wonderful.
I like the bit of whimsy and fantasy here, it makes it interesting and fun to read. It's also so full of action.
(Step-stones in thought-streams are slick when you're blind)
Something about this sentence really drew me in. I read it several times, it was just such an interesting thing to me.
The ending is also awesome, kind of a sad statement on the things we are constantly fighting for.
Anyways, liked it a lot, keep it up!
Thank you very much! I really appreciate it. And yes, I am enjoying it here!