Have you ever wondered on ,what purpose we have in this universe. Do we really exist for a reason?? Or is the survival in itself, the ultimate reason?? All this while ,I have been this person who never took anything seriously. However serious the issue was, it never reached my head..got lost in the way, I guess. Until recently, there was this one incident which shook me up like a giant earthquake. One of my colleague who happened to be a close friend of mine dropped dead while standing right next to me. He just fell like he was being sucked into the mother earth. I was there standing next to him helplessly, waiting for him to wake up telling me it's all a joke or a prank,but it never happened. He was still lying there lifelessly and cold ,never noticing the ones screaming and running around him. Even though when all my senses told me that he was never going to make it, something wanted me to believe that this was never happening. That all this could be undone. That it was all just a big play. While I had all such thoughts clogging my senile brain, I heard the doctor say it, emotionlessly and inhumanly soft...HE'S DEAD!! These were the words I knew I would hear, but would have paid any price for anything different. 15 mins back this same person had his entire life figured out. Ask him what were his plans for the next 5yrs and you are sure to be held up listening to his pauseless speech for the next half an hour, he had ever inch of it planned. He had this appreciable habit of planning every event of his life well in advance and yet he lay lifelessly like a doormat on the floor with no clue whatsoever. I dint talk about this to anyone for the next few days but kept thinking about it a lot. What did he do to deserve this?? Is this what we call as fate or destiny?? Are we all delusionally optimistic , when we start to believe that we have things planned and well under our control?? Does this mean that all our struggle has really no meaning to it ?? The answer is... Duhh...if dere was an answer to all our questions, life would have been simple. However,it was at this moment I realised there was something more in life which doesn't present itself till we truly deserve to know it and all these questions which came up were not the way I should have gone around seeing it. The real life is not a race where we need to outrun our opponents and reach the finish line. This world is not a place where we need to compete against one another. There is enough room and resources for everyone in this world. I believe life is more of the journey than the destination. It is what we have tried doing that matters than the results or outcomes of it. It's how much you enjoy living ,than what others think of you. It's how we keep our selves happy and involved at present rather than fearing what might be of us in the future. Let us be stupid enough to try out things as we see them and not complicate our so called indefinite lives cause in the end we are all going to fall like my friend who stood next to me. And the fall is going to hurt bad ,no matter what you have done and what you have become.
-Use.ro
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Hey, there, Usero! FireFox here to review your piece on behalf of the Apple Dumpling Gang!
Alright, I saw numerous grammar errors and some spelling errors, but I won't nitpick because that is not my thing, and I know there are others who will. Plus, nitpicking grammar and spelling is what the final draft is all about anyway.
Now, down to the nitty-gritty: you have told us of an experience you had with a colleague of yours in which he simply dropped dead. It is fantastic that you used this experience to get your point across, but I feel that you simply told us rather than showing us what happened. Try to describe the episode and what happened instead of telling us: "One of my colleague who happened to be a close friend of mine dropped dead while standing right next to me." Explain to us where you were when this happened. Who is this colleague? Age? Was he healthy? What did he look like immediately before the incident. What were you talking about leading up to his fall? These are all descriptions you could include to show rather than tell.
All in all, a short but enlightening piece, and I completely understand the focus of it and agree with it as well. Well done, fellow writer!
-FireFox
Wow! This was does change my views on a lot of things. I liked how you have woven in the pieces of experience you had with your friend. But, I'm still a firm believer of it's best to have a plan for the best and for the worst that may come. Alas, that is my view and you have yours. I loved the thought, I really did it's just that maybe you should go over this? Maybe space it out so it's a bit easier to read?
Im glad that you like it. Will work on my spacing next time!!
-Usero!
Whoa...
This is a very, very interesting piece of writing indeed. By reading this, and your experiences, it really does jolt us a little bit to just how real everything is...? Like, anything could happen and we don't even know if we'll reach the plans we've made or even get to think of plans to make.
This is such a good piece of writing, making the reader think and realise just what life is.
On the actual writing itself, presentation is a big part of writing and so is punctuation. I'd suggest, like in you piece of writing "Money - Ironic reality", to break it up a bit. Hitting the enter key at the end of each main point you make.
This is just to make it seem more appealing to a reader who just clicks on to see if it's worth reading. Just space it up a bit and I'd also suggest not to use more than one question mark or exclamation mark at the end of a sentence.
I can see how it would make your point clearer and powerful, but in my opinion, it just looks better and cleaner without a whole load of punctuation at the end of a sentence.
Overall though, this piece is so thought-provoking and eye-opening too. Keep up the good work, I'm enjoying reading your writing!
-CFG
Thank you. I shall make a note of what you said. It really helped.
Usero.
I can understand why you inserted multiple question marks and exclamation points, but unfortunately, it's grammatically incorrect and takes a bit away from your piece. Sorry about being too lazy to do a review...though FireGirl pretty much covered all of my thoughts
. Loved it! Keep writing!
Cant thank you enough! Any form of feedback is most welcome and i shall make it a point, to cut down on unwanted punctuations. I never knew till now that it was grammatically incorrect. Thanks to you once again!
-usero!