I am someone different
I am not afraid
I wonder why I have to be
I hear the cries of other me’s
They who don’t have my liberty
I see them fall from high above
Where they once stood, safe and sound
I want them rise above the hate
To see them live and take it straight
I am someone different
I am not afraid
-
I pretend that I am like those
That shackle wrists and ankles
But I am different
I feel the chains holding me back
I touch the hearts of those condemned
They have not the freedom that most lack
I worry about this world
Which has become a prison
Never have our wings unfurled
I cry, the disrespect so blazon
I am someone different
I am not afraid
-
I understand that we won’t change
I say, we must throw off our chains
I dream the day we all see things
Make us find our way and find our wings
The day we’re free of prejudice
The day we find our boldness
I try to stay so different
I fight to keep my wings
I hope the chains don’t pull me down,
Drown me far below the ground
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Canary word: Present
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Hey, Tylexle! Lupa here for a review!
Welcome to YWS. Let's get started.
Keep writing, Tylexle!
1) This poem is lovely, first of all. The message is very true. But it's also extremely overused. I would like to see your fresh take on this--what makes this poem different from all those other ones about this same topic? Try to emphasize that throughout the poem.
2) I'm not sure if there's a rhyme scheme or not. It kind of seems to fade out and in in different stanzas. If there isn't, try to keep that constant, because there are some lines that do seem to rhyme.
Well, that's all I have to say! I'm sorry I couldn't help you more, but I hope what I said did give you some advice.
Thanks for the advice! I'll keep that in mind. This poem was written for a school project, so I agree that it's a little shaky.
You're welcome! And no problem. School assignments can be a drag.
Agreed. I prefer freedom when writing.
Amazing poem! I love the truth in it! I have nothing to say, It's a good poem, grammar is good, format is good, and everything else!
"I pretend that I am like those
That shackle wrists and ankles" I would after those two lines put 'but I am different.'
"I pretend that I am like those,
That shackle wrists and ankles,
But I am different"
I think it helps emphasize the point. I honestly don't have a favorite verse. I love the whole poem. Keep writing!
Thanks, good idea!