Tick

Hello Izzy here for a review!

The clock makes me think of the time we have but also the time we don't have, what we do when we die and where do we go? How will our lives be portrayed when we die? Questions questions questions!!! This makes me think too much haha.

Grammatically it needs commas in certain places, and maybe move some words around so it flows better.

But overall, great poem.

Very nice poem. Thanks for sharing. True. the clock does make some of us ask the endless question of what happens after death and reminds us that we are finite.

It also does seem to sneer at those who fancy themselves immortal or who feel that youth will never desert them. The things such a conscious clock would have seen is how youth turns inexorably into old age and how the once physically powerful become feeble. This poem reminds me of the poem You Andrew Marvel.

https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/you-andrew-marvell/


I notice that the rhyme fails in two places. Here is my suggestion:


Tight at the end, loose at the start
[Hard to tell them both apart]

Of what they cannot know
I’m your clock
[That’s how it goes.]

Hello, E.E here for a possibly quick review and maybe some utter nonsense! Grim is here as well, drinking hot cocoa and being a slacker. *Grim looks over, glaring* So, lets get started.

So, the first thing I noticed is that a bunch of places need commas. You may not have them because of style but I will include these spots, just in case. Those spots would have to be "Round and round forever bound", "Up, down, in circles I go", "Tight at the end, loose at the start", "They don’t know what I mean", "They only know I’m mounted here", "The morbid reminder", "The ultimate timer", "The endless question," and "The forever-confession". Also, the last line would sound better if you were to put "Thats it, I think so.". Otherwise, the poem flowed very well and my favorite line would have to be "The forever-confession" Something about this line, it just draws me to it.

Now is when I dissect your poem and see if I can't get its meaning right! So, in your poem you are telling us, the reader, that you are stuck in your thoughts. You are stuck with the things that haunt you and you are stuck with the fact that have said things you should have never even thought of. One thing is there to remind you of all the wrong that you have done and the bad thoughts you have though of; you. You are the thing that empowers the bad, so empower good. Bring that good and give some to others. You never know how much it could help another.

Overall, I liked the poem and keep up the good work! Happy Thanksgiving! I really need to go now Grim has souls to reap and he needs more cocoa. He has a problem, seriously. Cheerio and fruit loops to you!

♡ Hello there! ♡ I'm Dalisay and I'm here to review this poem!

Application / Initial Thoughts

I felt, after reading this, a feeling of oblivion? I don't know why it is my interpretation reading this. I also somehow envision a clock sitting on someone's wall writing this. It's kinda if Clocksworth from Beauty and The Beast was real and he had hands to write poetry haha.


Small Critiques

There are only a few small hiccups in this poem. However, I love the tick tock momentum I got while I read it in my head.

To do thing that the people can’t

*To do the thing the people shant

Of what they cannot know

I’m your clock

That’s it, I guess