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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
This is amazing! I know that feeling exactly, and this is so relatable it even made me tear up a little! Beautiful, realistic, desperately honest. Only thing is that, like Lindsay G, I'd've preferred to read it in a more traditional poetry structure, just to split it up a little and make it easier to read. I can't wait to read more of your work, so please keep writing!
Very good! But try formatting it better to make it easier to read. Using the "slash sign" doesn't actually do it effectively.
Another nip tick, a comma should come after wonder to create an effective pause.
I wonder can I mend your broken heart?