Woe is me, woe is me,
Life has been unfair to thee,
A warm house, a full belly;
I have it bad, can’t you see?
A leather throne upon I sit,
Flaunting curses, rage and spit,
My poetry, an enigmatic fit;
Can't you see, can’t you see?
Party-less most every night,
Obtuse parents I do fight,
My cashmere fits much too tight;
Injustice! Can’t you see?
In desolate lands now meanwhile,
A plague upon mankind so vile,
I watch the screen with but a smile;
What about me? Can’t you see?
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Well, I liked the woe is me line too, it is also mocking--they use it in films now at mocary material.
They are equals! haha
Yeah, you know what? I'm going to change it back. I liked that line too much to change it. It sort of mocks those who think their life is so bad.
*trident changes it back*
Haha I thought it was fun to stick a random 'Thee' in there!
That was awesome, the sarcasm beyond the awesome.
Nice!
Meg
You know what? You're absolutely right.
I tried to see if it was ever used in a case of first person or perhaps even third person formal (in which case I could get away with this usage) but it isn't. It is second person.
Well, it sounded good, didn't it?
I'll see if I can't change it.
Amen!
(One small note - why "thee" in the first stanza? This is a first-person poem, and "thee" is second-person...isnt it? Or am I just not up on ye olde English? LOL)
Thanks all! And thanks Fand for knighting me! I shall bring honor and light back to YWS and keep out the craptastic work that keeps invading our hallowed lands.
Well done, Sir Trident!
I think I'll bookmark this one... it's too priceless to lose in the forums.
Trident,
Job well done. You delivered your message in a very sarcastic way that was straight to the point. I don't notice anything that was wrong (I think that you edited your post with rosethorn's suggestion.
Great job. Keep up the good work.
J.
I love the sarcasm in this poem! The message is so clear and this is the same thing, I think, that lingers in the back of our minds but we do not bring enough light to it. Your poem carries a message of gratitude. We're so concerned with our own petty problems, we disregard what we do have. We're an ungrateful species, mankind.
This is the only line that doesn't seem to flow with the rest. Perhaps re-word it? Because the message is priceless and should not be changed.
As usual, brilliant work!
As always,
POKE