Monica: The Untold Story- Chapter 2

by Toboldlygo

Published May 28, 2016

E - Everyone Violence

In Monica: The Untold Story

Note: There is a good chance that I will edit and add more to this chapter over the next few days.

Monica put on her earrings and adjusted her veil, looking at her . 

"You look beautiful," her mother whispered, kissing her. 

Monica smiled sweetly. "Let's go," she replied softly. 

She met her father at the front of the church, and with tears in his eyes, he held out his arm. "My beautiful little baby girl," he sobbed, hugging her.

Monica put her arms around him. She knew how emotional this day was going to be for everyone. 

As they stepped out into the church, Monica met Augustine's dark eyes from across the room. She had always felt so drawn to those eyes, but today, looking at the new light in them, she felt them pulling her in, closer, closer, and closer...

And then suddenly he was kissing her, and she was kissing him, and everyone was cheering. "What happened?" she whispered, dazed. 

Fr. Ó Raghallaigh gave her an understanding smile. "Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Augustine and Monica Roberts. You are now married to each other."

The rest of the day passed by in as much of a blur. By the end of the day, Monica couldn't really remember anything. She remembered the kiss, and cutting the cake, and she remembered that at one point. Augustine and tripped and spilled punch all over Great-Grandma Iris. And now, suddenly, she was standing in their bedroom in their new house, and Augustine was looking at her longingly. 

"No one will ever really want you," he whispered menacingly, his alcohol-scented breath hitting her strongly in the face. "You have to do this. If you make me unhappy, I can always find someone else. But you? Just look at you! Your hair has to be dyed blonde because it's ugly, your body has disgusting stretch marks, and look," he poked her in the hip, "you're even putting on weight! Do you really honestly believe that anyone else would want you?" 

Tears sprang into Monica's eyes. "What do you want me to do?"

"Lose the weight. You're getting fat." 

"I'm sorry. I'll get up early and start walking to work, instead of taking the bus." Monica already worked 16 hours a day, standing on her feet for all of it, to provide the money for their rent and his whiskey. She wasn't really sure if she could function on even less sleep. But it looked like she had to. "And I'll give up lunch." 

He growled, and raised his arm.

"And breakfast. And only a small salad for dinner. I promise!" the terror in Monica's voice was growing and growing. 

He grunted. "Now get into bed and start pleasuring me! You have a lot of failures to make up for." 

Monica whimpered and obediently crawled into the bed.

"I love you," Augustine whispered, pulling her close to him. 

Monica smiled into his eyes. "I love you, too."

Augustine stroked her hair, looking at her in awe. "I'm almost afraid to..." he started

"I know," Monica confirmed that his fears were mutual. "I haven't since..." her voice trailed off. 

"Never mind that," Augustine whispered. "It's all in the past. Today, we become one."

Monica sighed and let her body relax against his, feeling warm and safe in his arms as they consummated their marriage and became one flesh, one heart, one spirit.

Monica was trudging home slowly, her head down, almost falling asleep as she walked. 

"Miss? Are you all right?" she heard a voice say. 

She turned around and saw a man standing there, dressed all in black, with a white collar. A priest. Not someone she needed to see. She didn't need judgement from a cleric. She turned away and started walking.

But after a few steps, she hesitated. She slowly turned around. "Is it true you'd rather die than repeat what you're told?" she asked. 

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Note: Parts in italics are sporadic memories flashing through Monica's mind and have no connection to current events or to each other, but are rather intended to provide insight and context for characters as the story progresses.


Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
SacredPen
Review
SacredPen wrote a review Review · May 29, 2016

"Can you hear the silence...can you see the dark...can you fix the broken...can you feel- can you feel my heart?" - Bring Me the Horizon, Can You Feel My Heart?

Alright. First off. Those italics. Bro. Chill.

Seriously, I haven't read anything that messed up in a looonng time. It leaves me with more questions than answers. Was Augustine abusive in the past and is now a perfect husband? That all depends on one thing. From what time period are these memories coming from? Post-normal-text or pre-normal-text? It's rather confusing to me, and it's left me stumped for a hot minute trying to figure out just HOW exactly this story is...you know...happening. Take the line "It's all in the past." for example. This implies pre-normal-text, but that leaves me even more confused. Why would she marry an abusive wifebeater? Maybe I need to read chapter 3 to understand...

Feel free to reply and tell me what I missed...again...sorry...

Hey! The italics are all memories from her past, but nothing has been revealed yet as to his identity. They're there to give us context for her past and insight for her character, and will become important later in the story. :)

User avatar
Elijah
Review
Elijah wrote a review Review · May 29, 2016

King Here


I hope to see more of her past because the things that you tell us about hr past through her memories really confuse me even if I try to ignore his feeling of confusement. Who is beating her? Who is making her do this? Past lover? Someone she was with before her current lover? I have many questions but the Italics parts do not bother me that much anymore as in the previous first part. I really do not have many nitpicks, only some small ones. I likes this part 300 times more than the previous one. This just shows this sotry is going on well and smoothly. It was strange that the wedding just flied by so fast. I wanted more details around the wedding day but maybe this mystery of unknowledge is fine. Overall, I am really amazed.


Monica put on her earrings and adjusted her veil, looking at her .


You do not need the space before the fullstop here.

She had always felt so drawn to those eyes, but today, looking at the new light in them, she felt them pulling her in, closer, closer, and closer...


I do not think you need three dots in the end. One is enough.


She remembered the kiss, and cutting the cake, and she remembered that at one point.


Before the second use of 'and' comma can be used but I do not find a reason to use it before the first use of it. I think you do not need the comma before 'cutting the cake' if you are ordering actions.

Augustine and tripped and spilled punch all over Great-Grandma Iris.


Augustine and ... tripped and spilled punch all over Great-Grandma Iris.

I think you need something more where I put the dots in this sentence.

He growled, and raised his arm.


You can not use comma if you have dependent sentence after the independent one.
If the order was different, you could use the comma.

Augustine stroked her hair, looking at her in awe. "I'm almost afraid to..." he started


I think you forgot the fullstop at the end of the action.


That is all.
Keep on writing and hope to see more of you.



"its been a hot minute" no it hasn't minutes aren't hot
— canopy