This is dedicated to all my family members who have won the fight, are battling now, or have lost the fight to cancer.
Living one day in a world of total bliss,
You wonder later how it was,
That you never knew that there was death,
Growing within the ones you loved most.
It can be strange, looking back,
To see how you once lived so innocently,
You never dreamed of what life would become,
After the world crashed down and the treatments begun.
It was like a calm before a storm,
But too calm, like a lake on a summer day,
Just waiting for the storm to break loose,
And the winds to blow it all away.
When you finally found yourself,
facing the hard reality,
You said right away,
"Those things don't happen to me!"
But now here you are,
And they have gone on,
Some beneath the ground,
While some still fight on.
And as you look at your family,
Smaller now, and say,
"Where did those days go?"
You begin to hear over the wind,
"It will never be the same again.
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139,389 Literary Works • 672,542 Reviews
Wow, this is so touching. As somebody who haven't experienced this myself I can of course never understand it fully. But you have done a very good job making the emotions get to me as a reader. Another thing that I love is the way you mix methafors with dialoges as "such things don't happen to me" to keep the poetic feel and still make it feel real. I also find it very strong of you to use personal experience in this poem. Knowing that this is inspired from real life makes it get to me even more. You are also very good at punctation wich I find really important since it becomes easier to read and gets a better over-all feel to it.
The only constructive feedback I could give to you is that I think that your poem could have been longer. This is not an advice I'd give often when it comes to poems but this one was so well written and full of emotion that I would love to read more.
Keep up the good work! And I also wish to send a thought to your family member fighting cancer at the moment. I hope that they will get the help they need to get well.
Hello, I'm here to review this wonderful poem (masterpiece) of yours. Shall we get started...
Okay so one thing I liked about this poem is that it talks about a very important message. I'm glad you wrote a poem about that to represent all the people that are battling cancer or have won or lost a war of diseases. I also hope your family members get well soon. Most of this poem was very very sad and the other parts with it were meaningful.this may be the most meaningful poem I've ever read and reviewed in a long time.I just wanted to congratulate you on that.
okay so one of the advice I give you is that on the message on the very top before the poem you should make it a different font like make it bold or italicized. It's just so that the reader can know that it is a message instead of part of the poem.
In stanza 4, the last two words of that stanza we're really meaningful. I felt where you were going with that, and that was a great add to the poem.
Do I have anything else to say? Not really? The grammar and the punctuation was pretty good, and of course the one where you made the reader feel was surprisingly powerful. Great job.
From your curious and mischievous friend from this amazing website,
OofOof1.
Thank you! I hope they get better, too.
I'll change the message at the top to italics- thanks for pointing that out!
No problem
Hello!!
This is such a touching poem.. I love the detail and emotion in this. Its really makes people think more about cancer. The way you explained about the people was great. I really felt like i was this person, i was with the person. I new how they felt, and almost what there going through. Its sad, but a great poem. I dont see much things you should change. Its really good!
Keep up the work!
Sincerly Anma
Thanks! I'm glad you like it
Hello,
This is a really nicely written poem! The topic it's written about is very deep, and I could feel emotion from each line. I think the imagery was really good... along with the comparisons of this being "calm before a storm". I actually really like this line because it lets me interpret that no he knows when it will strike. I also like the character you portrayed here... believing that this would never happen to them but then it strikes their loved ones... I feel like I could really feel for this character. The last stanza just tied it all together nicely with the line "it will never be the same again."
Anyway, I dont really have anything to point out! I think the idea is really well conveyed, and its overall well done!
Keep Writing.
Thanks!