Hello there! My name's Rosie, and I'm here to review this piece.

My favorite part about this piece is the personality that your writing style lent to it. You write uniquely, taking full advantage of your vocabulary, yet your work didn't come off feeling stuffily wordy. Great work there. I'm not sure if you make a habit of writing poetry, but if you do and you post it on YWS, please send me a link. I'd love to read it

As much as I like the style of your writing, I do feel that this piece is lacking in plot. In fact, I'm not sure if there's much of a plot at all. Establishing a strong storyline is especially difficult in short stories since there's vastly less time to do it in; still, a vibrant plot is no less important in a short story than in a novel. In the future, I'd advise building a storyline as awesome as your writing style.

Overall, cool piece! Always keep writing!

-Rosie

This is really great. I loved your descriptions and the flow of your writing. At first, I thought it was going to be one of those pink fluffy romance stories that's all over the place and that I probably write too. Then, I realized that this had a lot more heart in it and it seemed that there was very little romance in it. I am a little unclear on what exactly happened. It would help to have a little background on the characters and the story itself. Other than that it was a great piece. I think that your style is very unique and captivating

Keep Writing
Raelyn