Don't Cry Child

Thanks for all the comments guys, but now I'm going to lock this because it's pretty old.

heyy im emily.
this poem was so downto earth,helping people relise whats happaning in childrens worlds. i know from expiriance that life can be verry hard and unforgiving but poems like this one is what helped me along<3

I really liked this poem,it was great!
The tempo is pretty good but the last stanza throws it off and makes it vulnerable.
The "don't cry child" has more potential,although it is repetitive and most repetitive lines should be subtle,I feel like there is something missing there.
The last line of the poem "...tis of thee" throw everything off, completely weakens the entire poem, and makes the entire stanza awkward.
I think you should emphasize some lines with punctuation,like a period after "the fool he is".
Really,its a great poem but it needs alot of work.
Pm me anytime!
Good luck!
~spartacus~
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the pain I had is scars on my soul ~dreamer~

I liked it, poems aren't really my kind of thing but I found this very good. Keep up the good writing!

hi!
Wow that was amazing!
What was your inspiration for this poem?
I loved it, it was very beautiful and you did a very good job.
I hope to see more writing like this from you!
Thank you for posting it.

Wow. That's touching. Maybe, in the poem, give a hint of how to not cry or something to do to make the child feel better.

Hello! Booky here to review-comments in bold!

Don’t cry child, Nice repeat throughout
Don’t put up a wall.
When you are feeling lonely,
When they don’t answer your call.
Side note-the use of we/they/you is extremely useful in this poem! Have you read that Rudyard Kipling poem-"We and They?"
Don’t cry child,
Don’t run away
When they shout, ‘NO!’I'm not a big fan of the overuse of the word when...
When you ask, ‘Can I play?’After you ask?

Don’t cry child,
Not all the World is cruel.Not to be the anti-creative license girl here, but why is world capitalized?
When your father beats you,
The shameless fool.

Don’t cry child,
When mother hasn’t the time.Hasn't is such a better word than does not have
When they casually ask, ‘How was your day?’
And you lie and say, ‘Fine.’Brilliant!

Don’t cry child,
For life does change.
One day, when you have children
One day, when you age.
quite lovely!
Don’t cry child,
For innocence stolen, not lost.Hmm....you see, me speaking as me, I like this. Me speaking as my english teacher, whose voice is perpetually ingrained in the wiring of my mind, i must say that this doesn't make sense. I understand the concept, but not the specifics (as in stolen? lost?)
For all those cruel to you,
One day they’ll learn the cost.Eeks! So close to parfait, but one must be wary of the death threat undertone of this phrase...

So don’t cry child,
But neither run to me.Is neither gram. correct?
For one day you’ll find all
You ever needed, was inside thee.So so so lovely, but thee doesn't fit with the rest! I'm all for old english, but either go all out or stay home:)

Don’t cry child.

Wow, this was beautiful and emotionally honest. It was almost painful to read, but in a good way. Great job!

TIGERSPRITE wrote:DON’T CRY CHILD

Don’t cry child,
Don’t put up a wall.
When you are feeling lonely,
When they don’t answer your call.

Don’t cry child,
Don’t run away
When they shout, ‘NO!’
When you ask, ‘Can I play?’

Don’t cry child,
Not all the World is cruel.
When your father beats you,
The shameless fool.
-I liked this part. It shows why the character is sad. It allows us to have an insight.

Don’t cry child,
When mother hasn’t the time.- this part does not seem to coincide with the rest of the stanza. Explain.
When they casually ask, ‘How was your day?’
And you lie and say, ‘Fine.’

Don’t cry child,
For life does change.
One day, when you have children
One day, when you age.
-I really like this part as well. It is very true and heartfelt.

Don’t cry child,
For innocence stolen, not lost.
For all those cruel to you,
One day they’ll learn the cost.

So don’t cry child,
But neither run to me.
For one day you’ll find all
You ever needed, was inside thee.

Don’t cry child.

Hey,first of all,i really did like this poem,it almost made me cry. But some of the words are a little forced.
But i loved the way you thought of this poem,it's really something.

keep on writing!
~Book Person~

Some of the rhymes were a tad bit forced, and the flow was a little iffy, but I do like the whole idea to the poem. It gives the reader a different point of view on the life of a child. A lot of poetry is about the beauty of childhood, of innocence and lack of logic. This reminds me more of my childhood, when you already know that things are cruel, but you don't exactly know whats great either. All in all, well done.

Hello there, my name is Flower, and I will be your reviewer for the evening.
I want to start out by saying that I really loved this poem, certain parts almost made me cry. It doesn't come off as angsty like most poems like this do, you pulled this off perfectly.

TIGERSPRITE wrote:DON’T CRY CHILD

Don’t cry child,
Don’t put up a wall.
When you are feeling lonely,
When they don’t answer your call. I think that the rhyme on the last line is very forced. I don't really find it very nesessary at all.

Don’t cry child,
Don’t run away
When they shout, ‘NO!’
When you ask, ‘Can I play?’ I like the line above this one, but the can I play part doesn't fit right to me. It just seems to simple, I would talk about the child crying or something. You know stick with the main point, dont' play with innocence.

Don’t cry child,
Not all the World is cruel. You contradict this line later in your poem. I'm not really sure where at, I just remember reading it.
When your father beats you, This line is so sad, it made me tear up.
The shameless fool.

Don’t cry child,
When mother hasn’t the time.
When they casually ask, ‘How was your day?’
And you lie and say, ‘Fine.’ This is the line that really got to me. I can really relate to this line. I was almost in tears, which is a good thing because poetry generally doesn't make me cry.

Don’t cry child,
For life does change. Life really doesn't change. I think this is the line where I thought you contadicted yourself, but you didn't, so nevermind.
One day, when you have children
One day, when you age.

Don’t cry child,
For innocence stolen, not lost. I can relate to this line also.
For all those cruel to you,
One day they’ll learn the cost. I think pay the price would sound better here.

So don’t cry child, This line gets pretty repetitive in this poem. I do think you should repeat it, but if you repeat it to much it makes the poem sound bad, and it makes the reader loose focus.
But neither run to me. I don't like the way you worded this line. I think you should change it around.
For one day you’ll find all
You ever needed, was inside thee. I would take away the 'thee' in this line.

Don’t cry child.