Restless in a mess of randomness
bound by braids invisible to senses
Still as a pond trapped between trees
thoughts stranger than untainted seas
Muddled and misty the mind is by mid-day
Minutes trickle down to morrow far away
haze lingers around the lazy soul
hiding sights too beautiful to behold
Early bird tires all too soon
Exuberance dies by noon
Dreamer stumbles at the starting line
Life withers under the sunshine
Moments blur outside the speeding train
Rush on time but it’s all in vain,
Tilted supports balance the frail
Millions meander down the shoddy trail.
Clicks and flicks push the wagon up
Bricks and tricks lay the foundation down
Towers rise on uneven lands
Water burns the bruised hands
Hollow veins bulge under the skin
Expectations spoil the win,
Search dearly for what is lost
Destiny hints at a different plot
Seek not what you miss the most
Desperate hearts make a terrible host
Doors flutter shut to trap the light
Enlightenment is a madman’s plight
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Hey Theile!
Hope you're doing well today or tonight, depending on which side of the world you're on. Anyways, I'm here for a review. Very short one. Understatement. Very very short one. That's still an understatement. Oof, you know what I mean.
Okay, so... WOW. That's great! Like, seriously great. I can't really give you a review on this. This poem, is a master piece. I love the description, the rhyming, the structure, the entire thing basically. I love this. Imma give this a like as soon as I'm done this so called review. One last thing to say before I go. I love this poem very very very much! Too much!
Keep on writing!
~Liberty500
OMG!!!!
Love.
This...
Lol..sorry. i usually don’t read much poetry like this from a lot of people so I get really excited when someone does something like this. This was really beautiful and i hope you keep on writing. I would love to review your work.
The only thing I would say is manybe add some punctuation and capitilzation. I don’t know..you don’t have to, it just bugs me when I don’t see puncutation and whatnot. I guess, It’s because I’m use to doing it with everything. Mostly cuz i was forced to with my work so it became a “have to” for me. Don’t worry. You don’t have to cuz again, its’ only a suggestion. I really loved this and I SERIOUSLY hope you keep up the great work.!!!!!!!!
hey there! Che here to review your poem!
sorry I couldn't give much feedback
Well, I say review, but there isn't really anything or me to say other than WOW
There's nothing i can critique. I loved the poem- the imagery, the structure, the rhyme scheme, everything!
Your rhyming was genuinely fantastic, don't really have anything else to say!
Congratulations on such a brilliant poem