When the piano races,
high and shrill.
The guitar electrifies,
the air you breathe.
The sax, pierces
holes in your ears.
The bass thumps,
behind the scenes.
The drums are constant,
pounding hearts.
When the players nod,
and all retreat,
except for one who takes his feet.
Solo.
When the notes envelope you,
leave you swimming,
in a dream.
Close your eyes...
Jazz is almost chaos,
Jazz is,
an improvised musical anarchy,
with a beat.
The sound vibrates,
‘round the wispy outlines,
of the players.
They nod,
they know.
You just can’t jam too hard.
The crowd sways,
sound becomes the only sense
the rabid notes reach
through your ears,
vibrate your heart,
singe your mind,
make love,
to your soul.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,689 Literary Works • 672,650 Reviews
Hello!
Well done for creating such a great poem! I really like the references to all the instruments and the sounds they make. The imagery is great and you sound really passionate about jazz through this poem!
I also really like this:
'The crowd sways,
sound becomes the only sense
the rabid notes reach
through your ears,
vibrate your heart,
singe your mind,
make love,
to your soul.'
'The bass thumps'-yes it does!
I also really liked this:
'When the notes envelope you,
leave you swimming,
in a dream.'
Although people say about flow, you said that 'jazz is almost chaos' so I guess varied line lengths etc. fit in with your poem well!
Well done for the great poem, keep writing!
tiggpanda145
Ello.
He takes his feet, now this sounds like he had his feet blown off and he picks them up and walks out or something.right after the line I quoted above you wrote Solo you could pix that up so that it is "Solo and elite" maybe you could do that.
Well this was interesting though you need it to flow something that might help is riming and making the lines each the same size.
Yeah well nice job of making a lovely poem.
Keep writing and good luck.
May god be with yah.
~Jonathan~
You have varied the length of your lines really well to create appropriate emphasis and effect for the reader. Well done. I love the reference to the different instruments and the sounds they make. Also, you've involved the senses really well: 'the rabid notes reach... vibrate your heart, singe your mind.'
I love this poem, I can't fault it. Brilliant!