Smoke and Mirrors

hm.
This was very interesting.
I liked it quite a bit.

The story seems to cut into the deeper meaning of life. Do we really know what or who we are or what we're capable of? You seemed to take the question head on and analyze it from your own perspective. I love it.

Your title was the very first thing that intrested me. Talk about an attention grabber. I'm surprised you don't have 500 comments already! And I love the way you started out with a question. Getting a reader involved at the begining of the text is a great way to start out a story.

"The truth can be powerful; too powerful. This is why many of us hid it. Masquerade it with masks of lies and false emotions."

I cannot express how much I love this part. You're speaking the hard truth throughout this entire piece, but to me the majority of the truth is here. Yes the truth is powerful, and many of us don't want to face it. I love the vocabulary you used in this! It made the work so much better!

Grammar wise, I don't see much of anything that needs fixing. You seemed to have read this over a few times to make sure it was right. And honestly, you did amazing!

I love this piece so much! I can't wait to see more from you!

Hi, Dakota here!

This is a very insightful piece dealing with a very complex topic, and I commend you for writing on such a deep subject. Do we know people? Do we know ourselves? If so, how? If not, why? In such a short piece, you did very well addressing and analyzing this theme.

In the beginning, your questions hooked me. Your opening brought new depth to the title, but in that you might want to clarify what you mean by "know" and who you speak of "knowing". When you ask "Even if they are only a vague presence in our lives or perhaps ourselves, do we know them?", it confused me a little. Are we supposed to know the people who only touch the surface of our lives? Are you discussing those who we hardly know, our closest confidents, ourselves, or all three? And by know do you mean know personally or just assume a general idea of who they are? It is vague throughout your entire piece as you speak of "others" and "that person". Perhaps try to clarify what type people you talk of knowing (or not knowing) and what you mean by "knowing" them.

In the first half of your piece, your syntactical structure is also very simple and short. To me, it comes as choppy. If this isn't what you are going for, try to vary the beginning with longer sentences; perhaps combine related thoughts into a single sentence.

When you state "It is not cowardliness nor stupidity to be scared of the truth", you are making an astute point. Humans do like to incorporate an element of deception into their lives to ease the pain of truth. However, nor is always paired with neither. Remember: either, or and neither, nor.
Try: "It is neither cowardliness nor stupidity to be scared of the truth".

Your statement "This is why many of us hid it" is in past tense while the rest of your piece is in present tense. To maintain consistency, change "hid" to "hide".

And this part: "By doing so the truth builds within and consumes who we are. It eats away our souls like flies do to a rotting corpse. Yet we continue to do so each day like it means nothing" ...what can I say? This is fantastic! This is so dramatic, so intense, and it paints such a clear image in my head. Your simile is very effective here, contributing to the darkness of suppressing the truth. "Souls", "flies", "rotting corpse"-- I love your imagery here. It strengthens the point that ignoring the truth is detrimental in a deliciously dark, creative way.

When you state "Our blindness can be overcome, and like owls see through the darkness", you make a clever comparison because owls can not only see in the dark, but they also symbolize being wise and knowledgeable. However, this sentence needs some commas, or you could even split it into two sentences.
Try: "Our blindness can be overcome, and, like owls, we can see through the darkness"
Or: "Our blindness can finally be overcome. Like owls, we can see through the darkness".

The statement "So let this be a reminder to everyone who says they know a person 'like they were the back of their hand'" is phrased a little awkwardly. I definitely see what you are going for here, but the past tense should be changed to present. The quotation marks seem to be ridiculing those who say they know someone but really don't, so if that's your intent go ahead and keep those in there.
Try: "So let this be a reminder to everyone who says they know a person 'like the back of their hand'".

In most academic writing, it is advisable to stay away from first and second person to remain impartial and analytical. However, I think it works for you in this piece. It creates a sense of unity with the speaker and audience, classifying them both as human beings who can be scared, deceived, and gullible. It reminds us that we are not alone in the struggle to understand others.

I adore your concluding statement. It ties your argument into your title flawlessly and is a subtly stated warning to reconsider how well one knows another.

All in all, great piece! Your thoughts are fantastic and your imagery is superb. Please continue to write similarly insightful works. This has inspired me to take a good, long look next time I see myself in the mirror. And from now on, I won't forget to smell for smoke.

~DakotaSummers