She dances alone
under the tree.
The bodies surround her
all shining with glee.
She twirls around in circles,
they follow her beat.
They watch her in wonder
and follow her feet.
She notices nothing
only the tree where she dances.
They continue to swarm her
and give her nervous glances.
Finally she sees them
but doesn’t say a word.
They come up and hug her
and she glances up at a bird.
She begins to sing
and the bird starts to fly.
They continue to hug her
as she begins to cry.
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139,463 Literary Works • 672,570 Reviews
I think that this was so beutiful!!! nothing wrong with it, and I love it!!!
~Pixie~
Liv,laugh,glow
Your flow and rhyme seem to be good, doesn't seem unnatural anywhere. I have NO IDEA what this poem is supposed to mean, AT ALL, so I really can't help you on that. Your grammar was good, as well as correct punctuation. It was easy and enjoyable to read, but I didn't like feeling so 'lost' in here. Anywho. Maybe it's just me, but as I said, I can't derive a meaning for this...and it's irritating! *slaps self*
I quite enjoyed reading this
Its a really lovely poem that keeps you wondering in a way... (don't know if that made sense...)
It's really beautifully written!
great job!
I really like this! It has a beautiful simplicity to it. It's very interesting and I don't quite understand it all but it's one of those poems that start to make more sense once you read it again. It makes you think harder but not because of the usual jumbled words reason (which is why I reread a lot of poems) but because the mystery of it. I like those kind of poems. Very nicely done.