A metamorphosis:
the pale blue sky
slowly emerges
gently crawling
out of her dark black bed.
The air is soft and eerie
wandering aimlessly
through the lonely earth.
Her secret touch is hidden
deep within a Pandora’s box
that will gradually emerge
as she gropes
for sustenance.
She cries and screams;
searching for a drop
to conserve her mind.
Coming days
bring thirst,
but also provide
a purpose for survival.
As a prophet laments
and a fool contemplates,
time will beckon indifferently
and bluntly point out
the proper path.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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I didn't see much, but everything I did id in ().
A metamorphosis:
the pale blue sky
slowly emerges
gently crawling
out of her dark black bed.
The air is soft and eerie(,)
wandering aimlessly
through the lonely earth.(should it not be sky? instead of earth?)
Her secret touch is hidden(,)
deep within a Pandora’s box
that will gradually emerge(,)
as she gropes
for sustenance.
She cries and screams;
searching for a drop
to conserve her mind.
Coming days
bring thirst,
but also provide
a purpose for survival.
As a prophet laments(,)
and a fool contemplates,
time will beckon indifferently(,)
and bluntly point out
the proper path.
Keep up the good work!