Young Writers Society

I am speechless. Seriously.

I would never be able to review a masterpiece like this I'M SO SORRY

IT WOULD JUST BE A BUNCH OF COMPLIMENTS. speaking of compliments--

let's just compliment.

These are eyes that have seen too much

Of pain and death and fear’s cold touch.

They've seen blind eyes and pale white faces

Forgotten in bullets and snow-woven laces

These eyes that have seen much, too much

They’ve seen the nations with no will to fight

Flicker and wilt in flame’s cruel light.

For all the wisdom beyond their years,

These eyes have shed innumerable tears.

These are feet that have marched through halls

Of kings and tsars and marbled stone walls.

They burned the flags of a fallen queen,

Only to raise them again in the night, unseen.

They’ve leveled the fields and wrought the gates;

They’ve run through jungles and razed them with hate.

And though, some days, they march for their quest,

Most days, their sole desire is rest.

AAA madam this poem is one of my very favourites of yours, so Imma review it!!! (I probably won't have any criticisms though, so it may just be me yelling over each and every line).

"These are eyes that have seen too much/Of pain and death and fear’s cold touch." Your use of personification throughout this whole poem is so beautiful, and it creates the effect of disassembling this warrior through what he has experienced, separating it into bits that are easy for the readers to understand. It's a very clever, creative, and strong approach to the subject.

"Flicker and wilt in flame’s cruel light." This line is so beautiful, and it creates a really lovely effect of one's mind conjuring certain images to describe different nations. When one thinks of "flicker", one thinks of a candle or a lightbulb. Often, flickering comes before it is snuffed out. One can imagine the smoke drifting away. It is sudden and painless. On the other hand, "wilt" conjures the image of a flower, slowly blackened and curling in its petals. This one is slow, excruciating. The effects through these two words alone are so powerful. Very very very very good.

"Even in solitude, these ears will still hear/ The voice inside them brimming with fear." The voice inside them!!! The mind's sound, the voice that echoes in your ears oh lordy i love this line so much. Oh my gosh. this line mate. hooooo boy. It creates a stunning effect of the PTSD this warrior still will suffer long after they're away from the battlefield. The horrors never truly leave, and you have managed to convey this in the most beautiful way possible.

"And though, some days, they march for their quest,/Most days, their sole desire is rest." I don't even think I can talk about this line. It creates such a deep and tragic tone. I love it. SO much. aaa.

"These are hands that have held strangers' hands/ As their souls drift away to some afterlife’s lands." how do you think of this. oh my gosh.

"Once raised in triumph for dreams growing bigger,/ Their sole purpose now is to pull a trigger." hrrngh. the broken dreams and the wrongful pursuit of some of them. violence as an answer that creates a life that doesn't seem to be worth living. It starts off so lovely and ends up so convoluted and wrong. Bless these lines. I think these are the most beautiful and impactful ones of the poem. I mean holy cow dude.

"Is a piece in a world with no reason to cope." This is the ONE thing I have to critique? I love this line, but I feel that it's more of a line for the middle of a poem, rather than the very final one.It doesn't quite have the /oomph/ to match the poem.

anyway altogether im in love with this poem its so freaking good. bless your soul. please keep writing, youre so talented.