I love him.
I have loved him for what seems like forever.
Any time before doesn't matter any more,
I love him.
I know I'm being cliche,
but there really isn't a way,
to tell you my feelings
without being cheesy.
To me, he's everything,
to my 'friends', he's nothing.
They don't care,
they treat me as if i'm not there,
he cares.
Maybe someday,
he could love me too.
Maybe I'll matter.
Maybe he'll be cheesy.
Maybe he'll propose.
And I'll be finally happy,
Because you never forget your first love.
Never.
He will always matter,
and I will always love him.
No matter what.
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141,302 Literary Works • 674,338 Reviews
Hey this is MILEY here to write to a little review (I hope it helps you).
First some encouraging words – the poem cute and to the point. Also short and sweet. It reminded me of the things I wrote when I was in love…..
Here are a few things that could have been improved.
The words are very repeating, this makes the reader feel as if you are imposing things on them and they off track.
Next was the rhyming scheme. It was very uneven so it took really off.
Rest all is calm.
Just as I say -
Keep dreaming! Keep writing!
Hi
I'm just going to write you a short review which will hopefully be useful and interesting
Well, to start off, it is evident that the speaker is or believes that she is desperately in love. However, it is also evident that the speaker believes that the person she loves does not feel the same way yet. Nevertheless she has faith that one day he will. The word "maybe" induces doubt in the poem. The repetition of that word makes the reader feel a slightly pitiful towards the speaker.
It is a quite simple and blunt poem which evolves around the feelings coming from one side of a relationship.
I noticed how at first there was a sense of rhyming scheme in the poem but then it got disrupted. I'm not sure whether this was intentional or otherwise however, I think that the low in the poem isn't quite write. Adjusting the rhyming scheme will definitely do the work.
Keep writing and enjoy it whilst doing so
-paula08
I like this poem. It made me smile with remembering when I realized I love my boyfriend. My friends hate his but I love him so I can understand that. It's okay to be cliche and cheesy that's what makes it fun and enjoyable. I like how you said, "Any time before doesn't matter any more" Once you find that one person, it's like its only you two in the world and that's a legit feeling. Keep up the good work.
Thanks, I'm shocked that people actually liked this!
I know how that feels, it's good though be very proud of it.
Alright this was a good poem, but I have to say one thing....
Dogsrule5 here to start the review!
Alright so, as I was saying I like the poem, and it was good, but I think in the first few lines, you said the words "I love him." I mean yes we get the point, but instead of saying love all the time maybe you could find some other words, you know like maybe some of these...
I treasure him...
I cherish him...
I adore him...
They're so many words that could fit just in that sentence, and also no offense, but it gets a little it annoying when you keep using the same word over and over again like love, so maybe you could try the ones I put for you above, to help you. Alright that was nitpick number one, Now on to number 2. If I find a number to.
2. This is a very small nitpick. In the last three lines you missed a capitalization.
You need to capitalize your and. Like this.
"And I will always love him."
I don't know why I gave you an example of that, since you probably know what I meant, because your not stupid. Just saying.
Alright Back to the section of nitpicks!
Oh wait why did I say that! There are no more nitpicks. Well maybe not, but for right now I don't want to be a mean nitpicky person. I just want to make you have a great review, but it will probably be very, very, really, really long!!! XD! (Yes long, that's what I said!!! XD!)
Alright so let's get to the good stuff of my review.
So I really like this poem, and I think you should right more poems like these, because it was very good.
Your grammar seemed well along with your spelling, and punctuation!
Alright. This review is now done. (Sad) Also keep up the really, really, great writing!!!
Love,
Dogsrule5
P.S. *Follows*
Also I know your new and I am not trying to push you or anything, I just want you to learn, from your mistakes. But don't worry we all do it. Just saying!
Thank you, I will take your comments into account and improve next time!
Great!! I hope you do! Well great poem, and keep writing! Talk to you later.
This was simple and elegant and very enjoyable. I love the style and prose you wrote in and the syntax you employed was perfect for this type of story. The main character/writer really seems to love this guy; that is very evident. I love how you make it evident that the guy doesn't like the writer back because that is what makes this story really relatable. Overall a very beautifully written poem.
Thank you! I'm so glad you liked it!
This is quite beautiful. I love the simplicity and the raw honesty of it. I'm not a huge fan of really flowery poetry, so this is perfect to me. I like that there's a structure to it, but no really rhythm or meter. It's something I could take into my English class tomorrow and compare to some of the poets we study in there. Well done!!!!
Thanks so much!