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The Illusion of Creation: Chapter 2

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It was dark again, this time she couldn’t move. She could still feel however, it felt hard and cold. She could hear the singing and the faint cry of a bird that only seemed familiar from a dream. She realized her eyes were closed, and she opened them.

She was on a flat rock that looked like a pedestal. She reluctantly sat up and slid off. When she was off she saw on the front, it said “CREATOR” engraved in the stone. Was this a grave? Her grave? No, she was still alive, and why would the grave say Creator anyway? That was only the name she gave herself that only so few knew of.

As she looked closer at the rock she could see the rock had a small speckle of blood where her head was. She felt around her head to find where the blood had come from, but there was nothing on her head. She then felt her face and felt something wet on her cheek. When the Creator looked at her hand the substance was not red but a deep blue. Looking back at the rock the blood must have come from the right side, the blue substance was on her left. When she felt the right the blood was there, but it was a much brighter red than the deep crimson of most blood, how strange. The Creator had a theory, and decided to test it. She lick a small bit of the substance from her hand, just as she thought the substance was not blood at all, it was salty and warm. They were tears, her tears. Was she crying? And if so why were they this color?

She grabbed her phone from her pocket, at least it was still here. Her reflection in the camera showed streaks of red and blue, and that was not all. Her irises were the same color, red on right, blue on left. She put her phone away and grabbed a small rag to wipe away the tears and stuffed it back into her pocket.

The Creator looked around for signs of life and noticed it was getting late, the golden sun dipping into the far off horizon. As she continued to look she saw lights turning on one by one in the distance as the sun slowly set.

“I wonder if that's home, but the voice, and the demon, they said they would take me to another world?” She asked herself as she started to walk watching the stars above pop up one by one. Orion was not in the night sky to meet her and watch over the Creator as he did most nights, watching her home below him. Instead the sky was filled with eyes so curious of this newcomer to their world.

The Creator soon neared the city, it looked blocky. Only a few bright colors shown instead of the rainbow of lights plastered on gray as she had seen in pictures. It looked familiar to her, she had seen this before, she knows she has. Then it clicked.

“Blocktropolis. I’m on the planet Tetopia. Home of the king Tetz. I knew the colors were familiar, it's the colors of the five species of blockies.” The Creator said with a smile. She knew the world well, after all she did create it, her title was not just for nothing after all. However a question still bothered her, how was she here in the first place? The question seemed to infect her mind like the black death itself. She realized that everything that has happened, none of it should be possible. She thought about meeting her other self, the demon. She had always known she was there, she knew she was the cause of many things that infected her life like a cancerous tumor, and although she had drawn pictures of what she may look like, she had never seen her. Yet she felt she knew everything about her.

The Creator sighed, while she always wanted to escape her own reality into the world of fantasy, she missed home. No she wasn't homesick, but at least there, everything made sense, had reason. Here, almost every law of reason she knew oh so well was broken into tiny bits. No matter that now, it was time to press on. As she walked to the city and reached the entrance, the Creator saw a sign.

WELCOME TO BLOCKTROPOLIS

She smiled at the sign, and walked into the city. The streets were lit by bright street lights and the few neon lights from late night stores, clubs, and bars. She was surprised on how developed the world was, she had only started world building not long ago. She started walking more into the city area of Blocktropolis.

The buildings were tall, and they went as far as the eye could see, there appeared to be hundreds of skyscrapers, all colors of red, green, blue, yellow, and purple. As someone who lived in a medium sized town with the nearest city only having a few skyscrapers the sight was breathtaking to her. She loved all the bright colors, she just wanted to stand forever, but she had to press on.

Find the castle, She thought to herself. There we’ll find the king. She walked along the sidewalk, looking for something she could use to find the castle. She walked until she came across a board with a map on it, and a little bench underneath it. The Creator smiled and ran up to the sign. She saw the kings castle in the center of the city, and the location of the map as well. She wasn't too far off by the looks of it.

She was planing a way from the map to the castle when she heard the sound of a can being knocked over, she looked and saw a dark alley close to her. She shuddered at the thought of what could be in there. The Creator decided it would be best to avoid it, that is if she didn't have to pass it to get to where she was going. The Creator took in a deep breath, and walked down the sidewalk. As she was passing it she saw a slight movement, she looked over and saw a small block pup run towards her. She sighed in relief as she knelt down and pet the small pup.

“You scared me small pup, what are you doing out? Are you a stray?” The Creator said as she look for a collar on the multi colored pup but couldn't find one. As she pet the pup she noticed it had no fur, rather it was smooth with a checkered pattern of the five blockie colors. She stood up and continued her walk, and the pup followed suit.

The Creator took her time looking at the city and what it had to offer, she was upset that she could not go into any of the late night stores or shops to see what they held, but she knew the reaction of the block people who worked there would be less than pleasant. Never mind that, she needed to get to the king. She remembered what the angel said about making allies, if she wanted anyone to be her ally it was the king.

She turned a corner and she could see it. A tall castle with six towers. Five of the towers surrounded a single tower, each one of the five colors. The sixth tower was all of the five colors right in the center. It was the tallest and no doubt it was where the kings chambers were at. The other towers however were not as clear to what they were for.

She started to walk towards the castle when she heard the pup start to growl. She turned around and noticed the pup had small needles on his back that were sticking up in a defensive manner. The Creator cautiously walked back over to the pup and knelt down in front of him.

“Whoa there pup, what's wrong huh?” She asked trying to pet the pup without getting poked with one of the sharp needles. The pup started to back up, and before she could reach out to it, something reach out and grabbed her instead. Someone had grabbed her by the hood of her hoodie and pulled her up harshfully. The Creator made a sharp high pitched yelp as she came face to face with the person who grabbed her.

She could immediately tell it was a male, due to the fact he had no shirt on under his jacket and the fact there was a lack of breasts on his black skin. He wasn't much taller than the Creator, only by a few inches. The Creator noticed a snake design that wrapped around the sleeve of the arm opposite of the one that had grabbed her. His face was that of every blockie, four smaller blocks to make one larger block which forms the head. However, unlike most blockies, which had all four of the smaller blocks the same color, his head consisted of two colors. Green and red, the lower class colors. His two red blocks were in the top right corner, and the bottom left corner, the green occupying the other two corners. On both of the red blocks was a single eye, one red the other green. Two eyes, which was one eye more than what normal blockies had.

“Well, what exactly do we have here? Brother! What do you make of this thing and it’s hound?” He asked looking to another male blockie that was approaching them.

The other male was a mix like his brother, only the colors of his head were flipped as well as the eyes which were still on the red blocks, and like his brothers eyes one was red and the other green. He wore a white tank top which shone brightly compared to his black skin. She watched as he pulled a cigarette out of where a mouth should have been and somehow blew out smoke even with the lack of a mouth.

“Well dear brother, i’d say we found something that is going to make us a lot of Doav (D-Aw-V).” he said tapping the ashes off the cigarette.

Doav? Oh yes that’s right, Doav is currency! She thought to herself. She then heard another familiar voice in the back of her head.

The fact your still alive shocks me. You do realize this means they plan on selling you on the black market correct? Or have you really gone brain dead, no wait, if you did I wouldn’t be here, so your just stupid. Good to know. The demon said as the Creator processed who was speaking to her. Before she could come up with a reply the man in the white tank top snapped his fingers in front of her face.

“Hey, freak, did you hear me or are you just gonna continue to stare at me?” He asked narrowing his eyes.

“Um, no I didn't catch what you said sir.” She said backing up slightly. The man sighed.

“I asked you what you are, so are you gonna tell me or not?” He asked poking her chest harshly. The Creator absolutely hated being touched, and getting poked was one of the things she hated most, along with getting hugged. She didn't mind doing it to other people, but she absolutely hated when someone did it to her, especially without her permission. So she decided to have a little fun. She found her confidence and stood tall.

“I don't know, am I Pix?” She asked with a grin. Pix was taken aback. Yes she knew them, they weren't just some background characters she made up on the spot. They were her newest additions to this world. Of course she can't get to cocky, because they were so new she hadn't developed them completely. She had noticed that even undeveloped things still excited developed in full, meaning she wouldn't be able to tell how they would react to certain things.

“How did you, how do you…?” Pix trailed off, she could tell he was bewildered that she knew his name. She giggled.

“I don’t know, why don’t you ask Vix?” She said pointing to the other man that had grabbed her. He too was stunned and the Creator couldn't help but laugh. The moment did not last, as Pix grabbed her by the collar of her hoodie and got her face close to his.

“Keep laughing now freak, you just doubled your market value with that power of yours” He said with what the Creator could only guess was a smirk. The Creator let out a small meep in response as Vix and Pix both laughed. As she was thinking of some other way to get out of this situation the pup came from nowhere and bite Pix in the ankle. Pix yelled out in pain and let the Creator go. She took the opportunity to run but Vix grabbed her by her hood and she jerked back. Vix pulled her back and held up the hood. He leaned down slightly so they were at the same level.

“And where do you think your going huh?” He asked as the Creator struggled against him. Not long after a spear came hurtling towards them, grazing the arm Vix was using to hold the Creator. She dropped down as he hissed in pain and grabbed his arm. The Creator looked up to see two guardsmen rushing up to them.

“Frag, it's the guard, forget the kid Vix let’s book it!” Pix shouted as he finally managed to kick the pup off of his leg. Both he and Vix turned and ran into a nearby ally way as the two guards ran up to the Creator. One of them got down on one knee in front of her.

“Hey kid, are you ok?” They asked helping her up. She nodded and looked up at them.

The one who helped her out was a blue female blockie. She was also taller the both Pix and Vix as well, her one eye in the top left corner of her face. She had on light blue armor with slightly darker metal plates on the knees and elbows. She also had a bright blue skirt that covered her armor leggings with a blue belt over top with the blue blockie shape as the buckle. The Creator also noticed her stomach was exposed showing off her black skin that every blockie had.

The Creator nodded to her. “Yeah i’m ok thanks to you.” She said as the blockie giggled. Another blockie came up from behind her.

This blockie was a yellow male and his eye was on the bottom right of his face. His armor closely resemble the females minus the skirt and the blue coloring was now yellow instead. The shape was also that of the yellow blockie shape instead. She also noticed he was significantly shorter than the female, in fact he looked to be around the same height as the Creator.

“Damn, they got away again. Those two are nothing but trouble. Fast trouble.” He said as he came to a halt next to the female. “They didn't hurt you now did they?” He asked looking over at the Creator. She shook her head and the man nodded. “Good, i’m glad your ok kid. My name is Raza, and this is Fuki. We’re members of the kings guard, we came when that dog of yours came up to us. It looked awful panicked and I can see why.” He said gesturing towards pup as it jumped up onto the Creators leg. She smiled and pet him on the head.

“So, what's his name?” Fuki asked as she folded her arms behind her back. The Creator looked up at her and then back to the pup. She never thought of a name for it until now. It took her awhile to think of something.

“Well, he doesn't really have a name, but-” She looked at the pup. “I like the name Neon.” She said. Neon barked happily as he started to jump up and down making the Creator laughed at Neon as he ran circles around her. He then stopped and perked his ears up, then looked over in the direction where the two guards had come.

The Creator looked over along with the other two blockies. There, stood a very tall blockie, he had four different color blocks making up his head, yellow, green, blue and red. Right in the middle where the four corners of the blocks met was his one eye which was purple. He wore a fancy long sleeve shirt with the purple collar sticking out. The sleeves were white with the main part of the shirt looking like a nearly full Tetris game. He wore black leggings that were almost the same tone as his skin, but the one thing that really caught the Creators eye was the crown floating above his head with five jewels embedded into it.

The Creator stood up as man walked towards them. He stopped right in front of the Creator and held out his hand.

“Greetings, I am king Tetz of Blocktropolis. It is a pleasure to meet your acquaintance, Creator.”

(Hey its me again! Just wanted to leave a link to my tumblr for people who want to see the characters in case my descriptions are not as clear. This is a link to my main but I may make a different blog for TIOC only. ((I know some people don't like this kinda self advertisement in stores but hey, its not easy getting known for your stuff i'm sure we can all agree, besides your the one controlling the mouse, not me.)) With that being said I hope you all have a nice day and I hope you like the story and come back for more because all I want is the things I make to entertain and make others happy, anyway ill see you later, Hasta La Pasta!!)

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/masked-astro

Comments & reviews · 3
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User avatar
Mea
Review
Mea wrote a review · Sun May 27, 2018 11:57 am

Hey there! I thought I'd drop by for a quick review this lovely review day. :)

Overall, this is really interesting! One of the things that really grabbed me was the idea of how she is facing down her own characters and how she realizes she knows who they are. I think exploring that dynamic would be really interesting, because like if she meets one of her main characters, she'll know all about them and it could either creep them out a lot or they would become friends or literally anywhere in between.

I think my main critique for you is just that the writing style, on the sentence and paragraph level, sometimes feels stilted and slightly disjointed. For example, I thought what she discovered about how she cries red tears on one side and blue on the other was really interesting, but the way the process of discovery was described was disjointed - at first, you show us in detail what she sees and thinks as she tries to figure it out (and this part was honestly a little confusing), but then before she makes any headway, you jump ahead slightly and just state what's going on and it's a bit jarring.

Something that will help with this, I think, is something that the previous reviewer touched on briefly: showing vs. telling. This is one of those not-very-clear things in writing, but basically what I mean here is that I feel pretty far removed from the Creator. I feel more like I'm hearing a friend tell me about something that happened to her, rather than feeling like I'm right there with her. This is caused by something called "filter words," which are words that basically tell the reader that what you're about to say is the world seen through your character's viewpoint. For example, "She felt a tap on her shoulder" - "felt" is a filter word. Instead, write "Someone tapped her shoulder." Filter distance the reader emotionally and make your writing feel more bland and awkward, and I think it would really help if you went back through this and tried removing them. (This article explains this a lot better than I have and I highly recommend it.)

Smaller things:

She could still feel however, it felt hard and cold.

What is it? I assume you mean the surface she is lying on, but it's really not clear.

Here, almost every law of reason she knew oh so well was broken into tiny bits.

I feel like this doesn't quite make sense - if she created these worlds, shouldn't she be pretty familiar and comfortable with the ways they're different from reality?

But again, overall, this is a pretty great start! Your world is interesting and your plot engaging. I'm going to leave it at that, so good luck, and keep writing!

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elysian
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User avatar
elysian
Review
elysian wrote a review · Sun May 27, 2018 1:51 am

happy review day! as I haven't read any previous chapters, I will only be giving general comments!

**disclaimer: I will most likely focus on negative aspects more so than positive aspects when reviewing, and this is just to help you grow as a writer! It is totally okay not to agree with something I say! Also, If I repeat anything already said, it's probably because it needs to be changed!**

Spelling:

The Creator looked around for signs of life and noticed it was getting late, the golden sun dipping into the far off horizon.


*far-off

As someone who lived in a medium sized town with the nearest city only having a few skyscrapers the sight was breathtaking to her.


*medium-sized

She was planing a way from the map to the castle when she heard the sound of a can being knocked over, she looked and saw a dark alley close to her.


*planning a way on the map from where she was to the castle when

The Creator said as she look for a collar on the multi colored pup but couldn't find one.


*multi-colored

Someone had grabbed her by the hood of her hoodie and pulled her up harshfully.


*harshly

“Well dear brother, i’d say we found something that is going to make us a lot of Doav (D-Aw-V).”


*I'd

Of course she can't get to cocky, because they were so new she hadn't developed them completely.


*too

“And where do you think your going huh?” He asked as the Creator struggled against him.


*you're

“Yeah i’m ok thanks to you.” She said as the blockie giggled.


*I'm

“Good, i’m glad your ok kid.


*I'm

She lick a small bit of the substance from her hand, just as she thought the substance was not blood at all, it was salty and warm.


*licked

Only a few bright colors shown instead of the rainbow of lights plastered on gray as she had seen in pictures.


*are shown

She was surprised on how developed the world was, she had only started world building not long ago.


*at

The Creator said as she look for a collar on the multi-colored pup but couldn't find one.


*looks

As she pet the pup she noticed it had no fur, rather it was smooth with a checkered pattern of the five blockie colors.


*petted

The sixth tower was all of the five colors right in the center. It was the tallest and no doubt it was where the kings chambers were at.


*king's

The other towers however were not as clear to what they were for.


*clear as to

However, unlike most blockies, which had all four of the smaller blocks the same color, his head consisted of two colors.


*blocks of the

He asked looking to another male blockie that was approaching them.


*looking at

The other male was a mix like his brother, only the colors of his head were flipped as well as the eyes which were still on the red blocks, and like his brothers eyes one was red and the other green.


*brother's

She was surprised atat how developed the world was, she had only started world building not long ago


*at

Or have you really gone brain dead, no wait, if you did I wouldn’t be here, so your just stupid.


*you're

Grammar:

His armor closely resemble the females minus the skirt and the blue coloring was now yellow instead.


*resembles

The Creator stood up as man walked towards them.


*a man

Punctuation:

The Creator had a theory, and decided to test it.


*no comma after theory

His two red blocks were in the top right corner, and the bottom left corner, the green occupying the other two corners.


*no comma after corner

“Keep laughing now freak, you just doubled your market value with that power of yours


*now, freak, you just
*yours,"

Instead the sky was filled with eyes so curious of this newcomer to their world.


*Instead, the sky

She knew the world well, after all she did create it, her title was not just for nothing after all.


No she wasn't homesick, but at least there, everything made sense, had reason.


*No, she

She smiled at the sign, and walked into the city.


*no comma after sign

As someone who lived in a medium-sized town with the nearest city only having a few skyscrapers the sight was breathtaking to her.


*skyscrapers, the sight

She walked until she came across a board with a map on it, and a little bench underneath it.


*no comma after it

The Creator took in a deep breath, and walked down the sidewalk.


*no comma after breath

She remembered what the angel said about making allies, if she wanted anyone to be her ally it was the king.


*and if

The other towers however were not as clear as to what they were for.


*towers, however, were

The other male was a mix like his brother, only the colors of his head were flipped as well as the eyes which were still on the red blocks, and like his brother's eyes one was red and the other green.


*brother's eyes, one was

“Well dear brother, I’d say we found something that is going to make us a lot of Doav (D-Aw-V).” he said tapping the ashes off the cigarette.


*(D-Aw-V)," he said

Oh yes that’s right, Doav is currency!


*Oh yes, that's right,

“Um, no I didn't catch what you said sir.She said backing up slightly.


*you said, sir," she said, backing up slightly

Yes she knew them, they weren't just some background characters she made up on the spot.


*Yes, she knew

Of course she can't get too cocky, because they were so new she hadn't developed them completely.


*Of course, she can't

“Keep laughing now, freak, you just doubled your market value with that power of yours” He said with what the Creator could only guess was a smirk.


*yours," he said

Yeah I’m ok thanks to you.” She said as the blockie giggled.


*Yeah, I'm

She also noticed he was significantly shorter than the female, in fact he looked to be around the same height as the Creator.


*in fact, he

Story:

I'm going to keep this brief since I went into to so much detail editing xD but this is a very interesting idea, confusing at times, but different. One thing I noticed was that you tell an awful lot instead of showing, so I would look back at that! <3

good job!

- Del



Teach a man to fish, he eats for a day. Don't teach a man to fish, you eat for a day. He's a grown man. Fishing's not that hard.
— Ron Swanson (Parks and Rec)