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Another Place...

by TheDreamWriter

Imagine this for a second if you will. Imagine a place not to far from where you are at. In fact I do believe this place is very close to whoever may be reading this text at this moment. This place is a nice place. Everything in this place feels unreal so to speak. It if full of grand lush forests, towering mountains, and great plains.

Many who come to this place seek adventure, or just an escape of the world that you are living. You see I have been there, oh yes I go to this place quite often. Have you experienced this place before? A place that is filled with tons of wonders.

I do believe that you can go to this place, it just may take some time. Unless you are lucky then it may take no time at all. Hmm you look like you don't believe me. Well I will tell you a story and after this you must believe me.

I think just if you only knew about this place you wouldn't spend all those hours in depression, in loneliness, in fear of what this world may bring upon you and that one day just one day you won't have the strength to carry on any more.

Trust me I have been here before and I have felt all of those things. It wasn't until I came across a certain Robert Holland that I found this place. You see Robert is an English writer who doesn’t publish many of his writings. He just writes as I do.

Anyways me and Robert met in a small diner in York that he told me about this place. He told me that he would write in most of his free time and meditate. At the time I thought this was odd but I said ok and he told me that if I do these two things I would eventually find my way.

After that I went straight home and started to write. It was a great feeling and I did this for endless hours. It was my new hobby. Meditation was such a peaceful state of mind and I did this for a couple day along with a couple other practices.

Then it happened. One night after many hours of writing and 20 minutes of meditation I went to sleep. Now nothing happened until a couple hours from then. I woke up all of the sudden. I was groggy and felt funny. I then saw a little what looked like glowing yarn. I of course followed.

The yarn lead me out of my house and through many places. I then experienced many sensations and this world began to change. I flew faster than the speed of light and then I became clear. I was in this place.

I walked around and felt everything. I ate and I could taste it. It was amazing. I did all sorts of things and I actually felt everything. It was truly amazing. I talked with many people and did many things.

The things I experienced. It was just indescribable kind of amazing if you ask me. It’s just… took some time to get there. I sit here telling you about this place that puts you in disbelief. I wonder would you like to go here?

This place is quite real and doesn't take much for you to get there. In fact you could be anywhere from the richest person in the world to living on the streets. You don't need money, or food, or a certain type of clothing, or anything else.

Now I have been there many times before and I still attempt to go their. Many go there but there is still a majority of people who I wish would go there. It awakens the mind and you have such a better understanding of this world. It helps with many things in life. You can even ask questions you wish to know in this place.

It may be difficult to reach this place at first but I can help guide you along with many others who will gratefully help you. Think of this as a journey, a journey that everyone should take in there life because even though the road to this place can be hard and depressing at times trust me it pays off.

This thing I am telling you about is lucid dreaming. It is an outstanding phenomenon in which the dreamer is able to control the dreams. The dreamer is able to use their senses that they have in this world.

If you have any questions please PM me. I will get back to you ASAP. I will try to help you and I encourage you guys to look it up.

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Points: 381
Reviews: 3

Thu Dec 17, 2015 7:54 pm
gandolphh wrote a review...

Wow this is really amazing. I did know that lucid dreaming existed but really had no idea what you could experience. Sometimes I can be very spiritual and this really helped me understand a lot about lucid dreaming. The only recommendation I have is-----oh wait, nothing!!!
This was perfectly well written in my opinion and will have a great impact on other readers like me.

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Points: 803
Reviews: 57

Sat Nov 28, 2015 11:09 am
ticktock123 wrote a review...

Hi! This is Ticktock - you reviewed a couple of my pieces so I thought I'd go and see yours! First off, this is a really great piece, I think the most important thing for you in this piece was to convey this story and it's message to people - and you did this really effectively. The language you used and your style of writing is really captivating, and it really makes the reader engrossed in this piece.

I actually had to idea that "lucid dreaming" was a thing - but I'd really like to try it, it sounds amazing. Your writing is amazing - and I like how you take inspiration from your dreams.

Good job - and I'd love to read some more of your work.
Tick tock

Thank you for the wonderful review. I am glad you liked it and yes I am fond of your work. If you have any questions about Lucid Dreaming PM me.

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ticktock123 says...

You're welcome! Yeah - I'm really interested, usually when I dream I have literally no awareness at all that I'm dreaming, but I feel really detached from it, like I don't feel what I'm supposed to feel.

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265 Reviews

Points: 4416
Reviews: 265

Thu Nov 26, 2015 11:03 pm
myjaspercat wrote a review...

Hey TheDreamWriter
Myjaspercat here to review for you...

First thing I would like to start with is that I really like your username. It's cute and it kinda catches my eye, but that's not why I am here. Lets get on with this review why dont we...

Imagine this for a second if you will. Imagine a place not to far from where you are at. Ok, so I want to start here. I love these two lines, they are simple but not to simple. They give the reader a nice bite of intrigue to have them continue reading, so for that I applaud you. However I feel like the whole 'you are at' thing just doesnt work. In my personal opinion I feel like using the word 'home' would make it sound better (even though it seems kinda cliche) and still keep that feel I think you are going for. Next part I want to touch up on involves the next sentence. You start off here real nice but then at the same time it seems to rushed. It would be nice if you could describe this place that you want us to imagine a little more. Give us something to actually imagine rather then just 'a place not to far...' You know what I mean. In fact I do believe this place is very close to whoever may be reading this text at this moment. This place is a nice place. descrbe to us how this is a nice place. Everything in this place feels unreal so to speak. It if full of grand lush forests, towering mountains, and great plains.

---Ok, so as a first paragraph, this could be very interesting. I do have a few nit-picks (other then what I said above). The first one is the repetative use of the word 'this' especially in the last few sentences of this paragraph. Infact to show you what I mean I countinued them all up for you and came up with a total of 7 times that word was used. I know that may not seem like a lot but in a small parapgraph it actualy does bog down your writing and makes it kind of tedious to read. My suggestion to you would to combine smaller sentences, makeing the paragraph as a whole shorter but taking out the reptative use. My last suggestion right now would be the use of imagray. Infact you have none (except for the last sentence which was kind of out of place). I hope you know the whole show dont tell concept because I dont really want to go over that today but in case you dont here is a breif description of what I mean. *Showing is the use of descriptive languge and adds body to your writing giving your readers something they could invision in their minds while telling is where you tell your readers everything that is happening and everything that your characters are felling. This form of writing leaves very little to your readers imagination and can be quite boring at times. However a little telling is a good thing, just make sure that it is used properly.* Anyway you get the point, show dont tell.

Aright, I think that the only line-by-line review I am going to do is for that first paragraph. The reasoning behind this is that most of your paragraphs are structrured the same way. And after all that reading I have decided that I actually like this. The concept behind this is interesting and kind of something I would write. With a little work I think this could become something quite special. Good job and good luck. Continue writing and feel free to ask if you have questions about anything you want. Happy Thanksgiving (If you celebrate that) ---Myjaspercat

Ha Ha Thank you for the wonderfull review. I really apreciate all the help with reviews because it helps me become a better author. I do celebrate thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving to you and may your journeys lead you to happy places! :)

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298 Reviews

Points: 15144
Reviews: 298

Thu Nov 26, 2015 8:20 pm
HolographicLadybug wrote a review...

Hello TheDreamWriter! Holographic Ladybug (me) is bringing you a short review.

I agree with marlowbaines on the whole 'this is beautiful' thing.

But, there are a few things that I wish to mention (Sorry about the straight-to-the-point thing. That's the funny thing about short reviews!):

I truly wish to know more about this 'I' person. Throughout the story, I feel like I should know more than what is going on here. But I don't. Maybe there is something you could do to make the reader feel more connected to 'I'.

Also, when you are using transition words (in addition, also, anyways, etc.), you should have a comma after it. I have noticed instances like these throughout your text.

I was starting to get confused when 'I' started to feel..... Everything? One moment, they were walking... Eating? Ummmm...... Flying? I got really confused there. Maybe you could go at a somewhat slower pace at this part. Description will really benefit this as well. Just slow down and don't rush the discovery. What did you eat? What made it so good? Where are you?

My final note: where's 'York'? Is it a city? A bakery? A street? Maybe you could use something to identify what this is.

I really hope that I was of use. If I sounded like I was being mean (I feel like I was.....), please don't take it that way. I'm really just trying to help. (No hard feelings?)
Also, if I was somehow wrong, feel free to correct me on that. I may have gotten something wrong someplace......

That's all from me!
Stay clear of kiwis!
~Holographic Ladybug ;)

Ha Ha no worries you were fine. I is well me. This is based off of a true story I guess you can say. York is a town in England so I will be sure to add that next time. Thank you for the wonderfull review.

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37 Reviews

Points: 1900
Reviews: 37

Thu Nov 26, 2015 5:00 pm
mmbmio says...

wow, this is beautiful

Thank you so much! (%uFF89%u25D5%u30EE%u25D5)%uFF89*:%uFF65%uFF9F%u2727

"My humanity is bound up in yours, for we can only be human together."
— Bishop Desmond Tutu