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Cards flutter and dice roll,
Exchanging contracts from the soul.
Dancing legs and waving arms,
Smiling children, our only charms.
Lightning strikes and thunder roars,
Cold fire power our stores.
Master creator and Ultimate killer,
Storming down from mights' great pillar.
A smile and a chuckle,
Sitting on floor, tightening buckle.
Throwing triads and holy sphere,
King, Queen, People to cheer.
Dark night, you are crazy,
Now the darkness mocks you: “Lazy!”
Ice breeze on marble floors,
Run to shelter from closed doors.
Run like Freak and play like child,
Senseless man are you wild?
Selfish in your disrespect,
Looking frozen down your neck.
Creation built and laughter ended,
Good and evil now have blended.
Evil amusement in this cruel world,
Cynical and twisted; curled and twirled.
You sit, perfectionist, golden crown,
Nothing left but to look down.
Prizes given and offerings shared,
No one longs to see thee scared.
Years drudge by and ideas flow,
Small images, come and go.
Forgotten hero, judgemental king,
Emptiness listens to hear you sing.
Finished completion and crumpled paper,
Swept up into the clouded vapour.
Once a scientist, now a comic,
Slowly drained of all your logic.
End is near, and sun is clouded,
Scheme and design is often shrouded.
Opened idea and the whole world shone,
Now your use is over and done.
Wise men cheer and hear you still,
Cutting Earth with mighty drill.
Foolish man is only smart,
Whilst his ideas lay within his heart.
I like it! The rhyming wasn't bad, I thought it was very creative. You had a lot of good things going on; metaphores and imagery and personification. Really well written. Great job!
This is a really nice poem, though I haven't got one idea but many going through my head. It's so paradoxial (I love that!!), thus I must say that you are very creative. And for a first attempt at rhyming poetry, you did very well!
The only stanza I find no flowing along with the rest is this one
I did not quite get it but the rest is lovely.
Keep it up!
Hello there
This line was rather beautiful! It says a lot.I should warn you, I'm not a poet
Anyway, there were definitely strong point in this poem like
Then again, after reading this poem, I had no idea what it's about and the obvious reason that popped into my head is that you focused a lot of energy into the rhyming and the rhythm so much so that it left very little for the conveying of the meaning. I feel every stanza has a new subject and it's just difficult for me to understand what's going on. I couldn't find the core purpose of the poem. But I'd like to know as well so pm me for the meaning, please
Keep writing and good luck
Here as promised! Overall, this poem was strong. Granted, a few cringe-worthy rhymes have been shoved in there, but on the whole this was a well-executed poem with lovely rhythm. I don't know If I'm just completely clueless, but, although I could tell there was something behind the words... ie another meaning...I hadn't the faintest idea what. Sorry! PM me to clarify if you fancy. Right, down to business...
All-in-all, You've done a good job! I'd certainly like to know the inspiration, so PM me! All the best!
~ Amelia