Walking alone on the path I chose,
A life I thought my heart would love—
But love feels distant,
And I feel far from home.
Lost, though surrounded by the known,
In familiar places, I feel alone.
Confused and Worried,
I ask: Should I turn back? Or keep walking this quiet road?
The light within me—once bold,
Flickers now and hides in fear.
So, I search in shadows,
Hoping a new version of me
Will rise and take my hand,
To pull me towards the light.
Though the darkness trembles me,
I choose to believe—
In the rhythm of stars,
In the power of the universe
That has not forgotten me.
One day,
The dawn will break for me, too.
And I will become the light I seek.
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,781 Reviews
Hi there! Here as Captain of the Purple Prose Eaters on this Mayvelous Review Day! Looks like you're new from your profile picture, so welcome welcome! If you have any questions please dont hesitate to ask me, or reach out to any of the Green username people who are our wonderful moderators
now, onto the poem
This just works. Haha, I'm sure its relatable to a lot of people in a lot of different situations, but it definitely hits for me. As a new dad, who just bought a house, and is fighting to get my writing career going, there is a lot of uncertainty.
I specifically like how you touched on it being things you wanted, places you know, and yet ot feels wrong. And it's really hard to determine if it's a you problem, if you made mistake, or if it's a season of life and these are just the struggles that come with it, regardless of how well you've made your decisions.
I like the imagery of the path, of dark and light, flickering, which is like these little glimpses of light but they aren't steady and dont show the full picture. It's a constant vigilant struggle.
The ending is, to me, the weakest bit. I suppose I just wish I know more WHY the MC chooses to believe. Have they felt this way in the past but it worked out? Do they have a strong belief in the power of faith? What does the rhythm of stars do for them? Is it showing them the cyclical nature of life? Because stars do burn out, they arent all a constant.
I love the last line. Sometimes becoming what we need or what others need can be the solution to the answer we are looking for. And if more people would pass on the light when they touched it, they world could be a lot brighter
~ Messy
I love this! Especially the fifth line.
Hey there! This was a nice poem to read, because it has this feeling of reflective stillness. Despite talking about topics that seem very deep and meaningful to you, it feels calm, which helps me follow along without getting distracted or overwhelmed.
Right from the start, I could relate a lot. You describe this feeling of living, but feeling confused over what you are doing with life. You made choices that seemed right and perfect at times, but not you have changed, or perhaps you have grown and learned more, and you no longer feel the same. The feeling of love is distant, perhaps it has been for a long time but you have never been able to grasp it, or perhaps something happened or you did something that made it go away. Either way, you describe this overwhelmed, deep thinking feeling that I could relate to.
A lot of the symbols you use in this poem are very common and heavily used throughout poetry, but that doesn't take away from how they helped me understand your words. You use light to describe something in you, perhaps what you thought was true, courage, strength, faith, love, or something darker. This light has become afraid and no longer shows itself. I feel like you could expand upon this even more and have it be less cliche, but still, it gets the point across and I really enjoyed these lines.
I like how you added some gentle details- like the road being quiet and the darkness that 'trembles you'. I have never heard that phrase before, so it felt different or even out of place, but the more I think about it, the more I love it. Overall, it seems like you want to return to this 'light' that you used to be, whatever that is for you. I felt like that for a long time, until I started to explore my 'dark' and found the freedom and strength that comes from understanding both sides of myself. Anyways, thanks for writing and posting this and I look forward to reading more of your poetry in the future.
Your friend,
Ellie