Hello, my name is Teddy the Bear, and as I am new to this site, this is my first post.
Alright, I apologize for the lame title, but I was having a complete lapse in creativity.
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I thought I was young,
But life is a pun.
To be solved tomorrow,
Where there is no sorrow,
Before life is done.
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This "poem," as I am sure you have noted, was arranged in AABBA format.
All criticism is appreciated and thank you!
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Thank you for reviewing, emoticon220, and I appreciate your comments very much.
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Elinor Brynn, I am planning (tentatively) on writing a second stanza explaining why life is a pun, but that will probably take some time.
Also, thank you for notifying me about my punctuation sign, I will definitely delete that and I thank you very much for your kind post.
Hi Teddybear! Welcome to YWS!
This was a very pretty poem, and I liked it alot. I did notice the format! However, in future poems, you probably shouldn't tell it to us. It is up for the reader to decide and interpret a poem or story in their own way.
I only had two nitpicks, and they both resided within the second line. A pun is a joke that has to do with a word that fits both a comical/slang and literal version of that word in a single sentence. So, how is life a pun? Maybe you could fit in a stanza describing what you mean. Secondly, don't add (punctuation?) like that. It's distracting and a reviewer could have easily pointed it out if you were wrong.
However, I liked the poem alot! Shoot me a PM if you ever post anything new.
GreaT! i loved the AABBAA format and the flow was even and...Flowy!
Many would say it should be longer but Personally i prefer shorter poems. the only thing i have to say is you should add some punctuation.
thats it! have fun and welcome to YWS!
and feel free to PM me with any questions!