A blank white page is where I choose to start.
And in a wonderful world full of color and art,
Only I hold the pen and I have no doubt…
That if I write the wrong word, I’ll be sure to cross it out.
There are so many opportunities to be made in this life.
If only we were smart enough to let down the knife.
Only then will we be able to write our own verse.
We can all be set free of this dreadful curse.
And I will still hold my pen and I will write my own story.
One filled with glamour and mystery. And in all its glory,
My page will not be white anymore.
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141,312 Literary Works • 674,341 Reviews
Hey Elephant! Nice poem let me first say I LOVE this! However I would have to ask myself what does "If only we were smart enough to let down the knife," mean? I don't see how it fits with a blank page. Also the second last stanza you put a period after mystery and a comma after glory which I think was a simple error. Other then those two little complaints I love this poem keep it up!
The phrase "If only we were smart enough to let down the knife" means we all must just let go of our hardships/burdens and write our own story. Thanks for the review!
Okay, cool and your welcome!
I LOVE THIS! I had no idea you were so great! (not saying I though you were bad) This is so relative to many people and I hope people start to understand they really can hold the pen to their story. I enjoy how you described "a wonderful world of color and art", and can't wait to read more of your work. Outstanding Job! Keep writing!
-tmalm1
Thanks so much! I appreciate the review! Welcome to YWS btw
I liked this poem alot.ThE WAY OF NARRATION IS AWESOME. The poem first describes the feeling when one writes anything for the first time.In the mid of the poem u 2 have highlited violence as a curse to mordern world.You have shown tha pen is mightiier than the sword and the present world should choose pen over sword.Keep writting....
Thanks! I appreciate the review
This is a very cool poem. I read it to myself, and it sounded awesome. It is not rough or anything like that. Maybe you should a stanza, in which the last word rhymes with"more". Other than that, the poem is cool.
Good luck and keep writing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Very truly yours,
fantasydragon01
Thank you for the review. I really appreciate it.
Hey Teal,
Remember me? Anyway, this is an awesome first start! I love the ease of rhyme and rhythm. The imagery is wonderful and your word choice is amazing. Why didn't you tell me you could write this well? I have a few little corrections that may or may not be right: "One filled with glamor and mystery. And in all its glory," Here I feel like you should add in an "of": And in all of its glory." And maybe I'm wrong but I sort of thought "glamor" was spelled "glamour?" Maybe that's how they spell it in England. I didn't really understand the line with the knife, but people often say to leave some of the poem to the imagination of the reader. My favorite line was the last one. It dropped the rhyme scheme and gave as a landing block as we finished the poem.
Great job! And kudos to you on a successful first couple of days! Hope you have fun at YWS.
~Joy
That means a lot coming from you! Thanks
I love your piece, while reading it I felt a bit sad.
I believe that my sadness was caused by the fact that I wish I could also be that positive.
Great work, looking forward to reading more of your writings.
hahah thank you!
Tigerlilly here to review!
I love this piece. I think that this is very true for all of us, that we need to put down the knife, grab a pen, and write our own stories. This was so inspiring, and I must ask: What inspired you to write such a lovely piece?
Anyways, down to critiquing... hmm.. Even after reading this several times over I cant seem to find something wrong. I love the rhyming, the flow, it all seems to come together wonderfully. Great job! I look forward to reading more of your works.
Thanks for the review. What inspired me was actually a song I like...Lol
Wow that's pretty interesting, because music is often what inspires me..
Awesome! I'm glad you can relate
Hi! mountainclimber here for a short review! I love the way you made your poem colorful and fun. I really don't have much to critique, I'm sure others will. I especially like the part where you said
"That if I write the wrong word, I'll be sure to cross it out."
I liked the rhythm and speed of this poem and I hope you write others like it!
mountainclimber
Thank you