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140,643 Literary Works • 673,577 Reviews
Good Job... I really like your style. Plus, it's a good thing that you tried. The girl's heart resembles the heart of a devil, so that means she is lonely. Moreover, I suggest you add another stanza to this poem.
Happy Writing,
Chris
Interesting...
You could expand this into some sort of interesting song. That could be a great chorus.
There could be loads of verses about her getting tempted and stuff and why she's so lonely.
Considering the title, you need something in there about her being lonely. If not, you could call it 'The Devil's Heart'.
But, I actually quite liked. Well done. Message me if you do expand this.