Stranger will you help me?
I can’t quite recall who I am.
In the mirror I see, damage of my scam.
Behind a white smile the tongue is black.
In my reality there is a crack.
Stranger I know well.
I should keep my mouth shut,
Act like all is swell, It’s not burining like a cut.
After years of spinning a web of lies,
I am afraid to take of my disguise.
Stranger is this the only way?
Words won’t make it right.
I can only pray, I’m not alone after the fight.
This mask has gotten too heavy for my hands to hold.
There will come a time, the truth has to be told.
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139,535 Literary Works • 672,600 Reviews
Well I'm done nitpicking. I liked this piece, I really did. It was interesting and had a pretty good flow. I'm just fussy I guess. Anywho, keep writing
Kind regards
~ Spook
"Act like all is swell, It’s not burining like a cut" <-------- typo, "burning."
I also find this line awkward, it doesn't flow well.
Your punctuation was not continous, it is there and then it is not. What I mean is you put commas in correctly but you only put two question marks and one period, and you left the rest of the word fragments open, I know it is annoying but punctuation is very important. Punctuation determines how the poem is read, and can distract the reader if not done properly.
I really like this line-----> This mask has gotten too heavy for my hands to hold.
This line is metaphorically beautiful and honest.
Overall I liked the poem, I really appreciated the mystery you put in it. Good-luck writing and never give up. -----DaRiEN
Hello! I really like this. It flows nicely and has an air of mystery. Just a few nitpicks
In the mirror I see, damage of my scam - I didnt quite understand this last part, did you mean scan?
And the only other error as what the other reviewer pointed out: off instead of of.
All-in-all, a great poem. Happy writing xxx
- Amelia
Wow. I can't write poetry, and I am truly in awe. I find it interesting that the only person mentioned is 'stranger'. I like the mystery.
One spelling mistake I must point out:
You're missing an 'f' there.
Keep up the good work!