Published April 28, 2011
Plagiarized.
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Locked. Plagiarism.
I really liked the simplicity of the poem, 'cause to say something similar I'd probably expound on it for about ten more lines. One question, though. Did you want "bear it" instead of "bare it"? Both work well grammatically, but they end up meaning totally different thing. Bear would mean hold up, survive, etc. while bare would mean the feelings that you've portrayed are buried and no other heart could possibly contend with them.
Heyy! I'm here to review your poem! It is short, but I sence it has a deep story behind it. Here is my review...
Other then the little verb disagreement in the first stanza I thought this poem was good: short, sweet, and to the point. The only other thing I would maybe consider doing is telling about why you (or the person you are writing about) feels this way. I read this poem and have a longing to know more about what caused this hurt. Keep writing!
-Jessa
I think that this poem is a little short and unexplained. I think that it could be expanded on. But so far, it's not bad.
A tiny bit plain, if that's what you were aiming for then, well done. If not then... it still works, I can see what you're trying to get across here
I think you need to explain the second line more. This might just be me, but I didn't get it. Like, why does your heard and eyes bleed.
Love the last two lines, the first line seems a bit cliche though.
Sorry if that seemed a bit harsh. Wasn't what I was going for. Overall, I think this is a nice, simple poem with potential to be expanded.
Wow! Good job! I enjoyed this poem, and I liked the way you expressed the emotions! The only thing I'd change is the line: Nothing but you I need,
It It was a bit hard to understand at first and kind of interrupted the flow, but that might just be me. Good job!