Prank Wars
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Prank Wars Dad’s Revenge 8/25/2013 TaKairee K. |
Narrator: It is June 17, 2020 and the Johnsons just moved into their new house
Mom: Do you guys like the new house
Luke: I like it
Drew: I like it but I feel like I’m being watched
Drake: It’s a nice house but it’s creepy
Dad: Well I’m about to go to the library to get some information on the people who lived here before us. Do any of you want to come with me?
Luke: I do
Drake: I can’t
Dad: Why not
Drake: Because
Dad: Because what
Drake: I have to help mom
Dad: Ok what about you Drew
Drew: I can’t
Dad: Why
Drew: I’m going to help Dee
Dad: Dee who
Drew: Deez nuts!
Narrator: Everyone laughs
Dad: You look just like your brother but your nothing like him
Drew: I can’t help the fact that I’m not a nerd
Drake: I’m not a nerd
Drew: Sure you’re not
Drake: Dad do you think I’m a nerd
Dad: No son I think you’re a very smart young man
Drew: Basically he thinks you’re a nerd
Narrator: Drake starts crying and runs to his room
Drew: Stop being such a baby
Dad: See what you did
Narrator: Dad runs after Drake
Mom: Drew that was not nice
Drew: I know
Mom: What has gotten into you?
Drew: I don’t want to talk about it
Narrator: Drew runs to his room. Dad comes back down stairs
Luke: Are we still going to the library
Dad: Yeah let’s go
Narrator: Dad opens the door and a bucket of water falls on his head
Dad: I am so sick of his pranks
Mom: It’s just a joke stop getting so upset
Dad: Okay that’s it. You know what I’m going to prank him back
Narrator: Drew comes down stairs
Drew: Luke come here
Narrator: Drew leans closer and whispers in Luke’s ear
Luke: When you get back make sure Dad comes in first
Luke: Okay
Dad: Come on Luke lets go
Narrator: Dad and Luke leaves
Mom: Drew
Drew: Ma’am
Mom: Can you please stop pranking your Father
Drew: But why mom it’s all in fun
Mom: Because if you don’t he’s going to prank you back
Drew: Am I supposed to be scared of Dad actually pulling off a successful prank, not in this lifetime
Mom: No I just don’t want you two to have a prank war going on
Drew: Well it’s a little too late for that, the war has already started
Mom: Can you at least go apologize to your brother
Drew: Sure, anything for you Mom
Mom: Thank you
Narrator: Drew goes to Drakes room
Drew: Hey Drake
Drake: What do you want?
Drew: I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for what I said
Drake: That’s kind of hard to believe
Drew: I know I say it a lot but I actually mean it this time
Drake: Okay, I guess I forgive you
Drew: That sounds like Dad pulling up, would you like to help me with my next prank
Drake: Really! Sure what is it?
Drew: Grab your paintball gun and come with me
Narrator: They go down stairs and aim their paintball guns at the front door
Drew: Okay Drake when the door opens fire
Drake: Are there any specific places I should aim for?
Drew: Hit him everywhere but try to avoid his face
Drake: Okay Drew
Narrator: The door opens and paintballs take Dad to the ground. Luke ducks behind the couch and starts laughing
Dad: Drake I can’t believe you’re on his side
Drake: I’m not on his side
Dad: Then you’re on my side
Drake: I don’t want to be on anyone’s side. I don’t be part of your stupid prank war
Dad: Fine have it your way. Just know that this means war on the both of you
Drake: What
Drew: That’s fine with me. We have no problem out pranking an old man
Drake: What
Mom: Before you guys start, what did you find at the library
Dad: Well I found out why we got the house for such a good price
Mom: Oh no, what is it
Dad: It’s supposed to be haunted
Mom: By what, by whom
Dad: The newspaper said there was a child who died in this house. The story said he got picked on every day for being a nerd. Now he haunts every person in the house that thinks that there cool
Drew: Dad I know this is a part of your prank, well it’s not going to work because I’ll be ready
Drake: Go tell your little ghost friend that he has to take on the both of us
Dad: But Drake I thought that you weren’t going to be on anyone’s team
Drake: That was before you declared war upon me and if that ghost story is the best you have, We’ve already won
Drew: Come on let’s go upstairs and get to work on our next prank
Drake: Let’s go
Narrator: As Drew and Drake are walking up the stairs Drew exclaims…
Drew: Wow!
Drake: Wow what
Drew: It’s just that I never thought that you could be so, well so cool
Drake: I’ve been cool but I was smart at the same time
Drew: If we’re going to hang out you can’t say stuff like that
Drake: Got it
Drew: So what should our next prank be?
Drake: Obviously he’s going for something big so we should to
Drew: Okay big like what
Drake: Just hear me out, so Dads a script writer right
Drew: yea so what
Drake: So I saw a script that he finished
Drew: And you want to rip it up
Drake: No! I don’t want him to kill us. I was going to replace it with a script of our own
Drew: Okay but won’t it take a while for us to write a script
Drake: Don’t worry I’ll do all of it
Drew: Well make it really embarrassing
Drake: Of course I will
Drew: When you’re done I’ll go do the swap
Drake: Deal
Narrator: Drake and Drew went down stairs
Mom: My house better not be haunted or were moving
Dad: Where are we going to move on such short notice?
Mom: Back home
Dad: Are you sure you want to pack up everything and leave
Mom: If there are ghost in here there’s no doubt about it
Dad: Ok let’s go start packing
Mom: Kids go start packing up your clothes
Luke: Okay I didn’t like this old house anyways
Drake and Drew: Do we have to
Mom: Yes now go
Drew: But why I like it here
Mom: Because I’m not going to live in a haunted house
Drew: Mom it’s not real He’s just trying to prank us
Mom: Honey tell me the truth is this one of your pranks
Dad: No honestly it’s not
Mom: Now everyone go start packing
Drake: yes ma’am
Drew: Fine
Narrator: Everyone went to their room to start packing up
Drew: Ahhhh!
Narrator: Everyone rushes to Drew’s room
Dad: What’s wrong?
Narrator: (boom!) The door slams behind them
Drew: I saw someone in my room
Narrator: Dad tries to open the door
Dad: I, I , I can’t get the door to open
Voice: No one can leave this room
Mom: Who, who was that?
Voice: I’m just like you drake
Drake: Who are you? How do you know my name?
Voice: I got picked on many years ago for being a nerd
Drew: Dad please tell me that this is a prank and I’ll never prank you again
Dad: I wish I could son
Mom: Why can’t we leave?
Voice: Because one of you thinks that you’re too cool
Drake: This is all Drew’s fault
Drew: Is there anything I can do to get me and my family out of here
Voice: There is one thing
Drew: Just tell me what it is and I’ll do it
Voice: You have to prove to me that you’re no longer going to act cool
Drew: How am I supposed to do that?
Voice: You can either show me or tell me
Drew: I’ll do it by telling you
Voice: Okay repeat after me
Drew: Okay
Voice: I drew
Drew: I drew
Voice: Swears to never
Drew: Swears to never
Voice: Pull a prank on anyone or anything ever again
Drew: Pull a prank on anyone or anything ever again
Voice: And if I do
Drew: And if I do
Voice: I will be sentenced to life in my room
Drew: I will be sentenced to life in my room
Voice: Good
Drew: Is that all
Voice: No
Drew: What else
Voice: Now you have to tell your biggest secret
Dad: Hey Drake turn on your recorder
Drew: Heeeey, what do you mean recorder
Voice: TELL THE SECRET!
Drew: Okay, okay I keep a collection of action figures in my closet
Drake I can’t believe I got that on tape
Drew: Is that all
Voice: Yes you may leave now
Narrator: The door opens and everyone walks out
Audience: ha ha ha ha ha
Drew: Who are they?
Dad: Ha ha ha
Drew: And what are you laughing at
Dad: I just pranked you on national television
Drew: I am so going to prank you back
Dad: Not unless you want to spend the rest of your life in your room
Drew: you better watch your back
Narrator: the next day they moved back into their old house and eventually everything went back to normal
THE END
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141,411 Literary Works • 674,391 Reviews
The Messenger Knight here to review .
. . . . Uh . . . What do I say? I don't get this at all. Script or not you have to have details in it. Not as much as a novel but a lot more then you do have. You still need to write the characters tones, facial expressions, and stuff like that. It was just like read line 1, read line 2 . . . and I found it un-funny. I didn't laugh the whole time. I had no idea what was going on in the story, specially the last prank. And by the way, I don't think that the mom would think the house is haunted. This piece just needs a lot of work.
Well, um, okay?
I've been reading a lot of dark poetry, but I wanted to read a script. I wanted to laugh, so I clicked on this.
First of all, your FORMATTING! UGH!!!! You don't tell us WHERE they are at all, and have literally NO business. I have four screenplays in my portfolio, and you should look at them for guidance.
Second, your GRAMMAR IS AWFUL! In most places, you don't have capitalization or punctuation.
Really weird, you should rewrite with proper formatting and grammar.
Lastly, your story makes no sense either! Here's what I got from this story:
There are some kids from the future, and they move into a new house. A bunch of pranks are pulled on them and their dad. At the end, it turns out it was their dad all along. So, I get that, but it's not a great story.
Think to yourself, does this have a real beginning, middle, and end? Not really. Besides, it's not that funny.
I think you should totally rewrite this, but that's my opinion.
Alex out!
It seems like a great script! I'm not a big commidy script reader or writer so it is a little difficult fore me to judge this one effectly. Here it goes:
Your opening at first it seemed like your dialogue was going to need loads of work but then as the script progressed it became more and more believable and funny.
Formatting. In the world of scripts and screenplays this is a must! I'm going to give you the formatting for both as I'm not sure if this is a book (theatre) or a screenplay (movie) so here goes:
Screenplays have a ton of stage directions more than 90% of screenplays is direction and shot descriptions.
Stageplays are 90% dialogue the formatting for these two different types of writing is different so that it is easier for the reader to pick out the important information.
Screenplay:
CHARACTER 1
Dialogue is always in the center with the character.
There are always far more visual notes/directions that go here.
FADE IN
Stageplay:
CHARACTER 2: Characters name is typically in bold and the dialogue follows immediately after. It could also be written like below depending on your personal preference.
CHARACTER 1:
Tada this is another way that you can write dialogue.
(Stage directions are always one indent in from the side of the page in parentheses and all italics)
Alright that's the overview on formatting. Another thing that will make your sketch easier to read it changing your characters names. Actors will have a very hard time reading for characters that speak to each other with a name starting with the same letter. Like Dad Drew and Drake. There are enough letters in the alphabet to write a script and make it easier for the reader, the producer and the actors if you have names that start with different letters. Even if you must insert the name Father instead of Dad it would be better because the names don't start with the same letter.
The last thing I would be careful of is the Narrator telling everyone what is happening unless there's a reason for it. i.e. the audience is blind, or hard at seeing, or it is a radio show or some other reason. The Narrator telling the audience what is going on if they can see what is going on can rub off in a sort of amateur way, and it's something that I would be careful of.
Overall it was good work, and with a little rewriting for clarity's sake can be an amazing script! Great job, and it has some amazing potential!
I loved this!
Hi there. This is a good story and theres a nice plot going on, but the structure definitely needs fixing up.
For example;;
Mom: Kids go start packing up your clothes
Luke: Okay I didn’t like this old house anyways
Drake and Drew: Do we have to
Mom: Yes now go
Would be better if it was like:
"Kids, go start packing up your clothes." Mom called out.
"Okay, I didn't like this old house anyways," Luke shrugged, rolling his eyes.
Drake and Drew looked at eachother. "Do we have to?" they whined.
"Yes, now go." Mom said, looking stern.
Just fix up the structuring and edit the story a little bit, and it'll be all good. Keep going!
its not written like that because its a script not a story
It was a bit hard to follow, it would probably work better if you wrote it in story form.
Example (do not use):
"So," Mom began, resting her bony elbows on the granite counter-top, "Do you guys like the new house?" Her eyebrows were raised, hopeful of a positive answer.
See? It's much more interesting to read than : Mom: Do you guys like the new house
Adding description makes it so much better to read. You should edit it drastically. I like the story line idea, but don't put it in script form. If you change this I'd love to see the results. Please write it into story form so it's much clearer.
The storyline does have plot holes, but it would be easier to address those later, once you've re-written it into paragraph form.
Keep writing!
yubbies21
thanks for the tips I plan to re edit it soon
this is my first story and if you read it I really hope you like it