I stand in between change, and I'm not changed.
It grows and dies, it shines, and then it's dark.
Yet somehow, inside, it is not gone.
Leaves fall off, trees become dry, and animals do die.
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And men, they do die. I stand in between change.
Yet, I'm not changed.
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I am human, and men, they do die.
I've seen it. I've felt it. And I was changed.
I stand in between change, and I'm changed.
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When I die, I'll know what a human is.
I'll feel it. I'll see it. And I will be changed.
I stand in between change, and in change I've found myself.
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Good evening, friend! My name is Ellie and I am going to leave you a quick review on your lovely poem
How gorgeous!! Your words are lovely. The first line really got me. Standing in change but not being changed. In the midst of a worst where everything around you is always changing. Perhaps parts of you are different, but you still feel the exact same on the inside. maybe others think you are doing well and you are growing, but really you are crumbling on the inside. your lines sum up these ideas so simply and so well. I love how you touch on life and death in an unbiased way. you are just observing the beauty and pain, not letting it impact or cause you to be biased.
I love how your poem doesn't approach death as being bad. it seems like you are looking down at it. I love the statement of how dying is what will make you know what it's like to be a human. death is always seen as the end or something negative, but maybe it is really just the beginning. your poem touches on leaves dying and trees becoming dry. that doesn't change the worth of the tree or how much they have helped the world. the last line of finally finding yourself was just lovely <33
overall, I really liked the theme of this poem and how gentle it feels. your use of language is simple but impactful and beautiful. your words feel like peace and kindness.
your friend,
Ellie
Thank you for your review Ellie, I really appreciate it.
Hello Hello, I hope you don't mind me popping in with a quick review. I will quickly apologize if this isn't as in-depth as I normally do. I can't really find too much that really needs to be pointed out. The themes were really interesting and helped provide a more melancholy tone. on top of that, I feel the use of repetition was very effective giving the end a nice impact.
The only thing I might point to edit is one line. "it grows and dies, it shines, and then it's dark." Now I am not a grammar pro but I would try to avoid using and twice so back to back like that. As it could come off as natural and mess up the flow of the poem. Here's what I would do, to help smooth it out just a tad." it grows and dies, it's dark, then shines."
To me flipping the words carries the same type of cadence while also hinting that our life and even time is based on change. We know in many cases that it's day because the sun rises and likewise we know it's night when the sun sets. It's one big cycle like life and death. However, that's just my thoughts you by no means have to listen or take them into account.
Keep writing and remember to drink water.
Thank you for your review, I appreciate it.
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