12+ Violence

Devil Touch Chapter I (New)

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A suffocating black cloaked the night sky, sending all heavenly beings into hiding. What it was about “heavenly beings” that made them scared of the dark, Lilith would never understand. She shook her head, a slight chuckle escaping her lips. Even in the pitch black, her eyes shone like diamonds, beautiful in every way and hard enough to cut titanium.

“Lady Lilith, I brought what you asked for.” A voice intruded on her thoughts. She turned her steely gaze towards a boy of such godly good looks you could almost call them devilish. He was standing in front of her, a small parcel was clutched in his sun kissed hands.

“Well, do you plan on standing there all day? Open it.” Luckily, the boy lacked any sense of individualism and was faithful to the point of stupidity, the perfect tool. Lilith watched intently as he began to rip open the parcel, licking her lips in anticipation. “Do make sure to not damage it this time,” she muttered, trying to get a look inside the package.

She held her breath as the boy withdrew an object, long and pale in the moonlight. In the poor lighting it appeared to be a stick, but Lilith knew better. Bits of flesh and deteriorating muscle fell to the ground, landing with sickeningly sweet squelches, sending pleasant chills down Lilith's spine. The radial bone stuck out from the detached limb, and what was once an ebony white was now dyed crimson from freshly spilled blood.

“Where did you get this?” She inquired, barely contained awe in her voice.

He paused, as if trying to recall exactly where he had gotten the severed arm, his eyes brightening upon remembrance. “A teenage girl who was laying on the side of the road. She looked about half starved and it was a pity seeing her just waste away. Being useless is never a good feeling, so I thought if I took her arm she could be somewhat helpful.” He shrugged, his brilliant smile grated on Lilith’s nerves.

Please tell me she was a virgin…” Slowly, the boy’s smile began to fade as he realized his error. “You idiot! I’ve told you again and again what tainted blood does to me! Impure blood is like trying to give birth to five kids at once without any pain killers, do you have any idea how painful that is?! Do you?” His expression turned stony. “Of course you don’t, you probably don’t even know how babies are made!” She shook her head in dismay. “Just bring it here and attach it. The sooner this is over the better.”

Like a scolded child, the servant boy sulked over, severed arm in hand. Hesitantly, he reached up and pressed the arm to Lilith’s current stump of a right arm. Slowly, the skin began the knit itself together leaving nothing but a faint scar in its place, matching the scars circling her ankles, legs, and torso. Sweat beaded on her paling face, the pain concealed through clenched teeth.

“I won’t be able to move my body until the bone and muscle finish connecting. While I’m unable to move, you’ll have to do exactly as I tell you. Do you understand?” She said this slowly, taking deep breaths in between.

“Yes Lady Lilith.” Like his expression, his voice was stone cold.

“Good, then take me to the lake.”

It was a long trek to the lake and the night’s chill didn’t help make the trip seem any shorter. To top it off, the boy had to carry Lilith’s dead weight the entire way. Why he did so much for her, he’d never know.

***

When they finally did reach the lake, the boy gently set her down against a nearby tree, and began his trip back to retrieve the rest of the needed materials. He was fast, but not as fast as Lilith would have preferred. The cold made the pain all the more unbearable, and her patience was beginning to run thin.

Grave soil, fire from a temple, untamed water, and the breath of life. She finally had it all. When the boy returned yet again, carrying a jar of dirt and a torch, Lilith couldn’t help but smile. “Now, it’s crucial you follow my instructions, word for word.” She waited, taking his silence as compliance.

“Get as close to the lake as you can, but do not touch the water. If you do you’ll contaminate it and ruin everything. When you’ve done that pour the soil in.” She watched as he poured, the soil transforming into a jade liquid once it hit the water’s surface. It was working. “Now, touch the flame to the surface of the water, but do not touch the torch to the water.” This was trickier, water naturally repelled fire, but the magic seemed to be kicking in. A scarlet thread snaked its way into the water from where the flames had made contact, extinguishing the torch.

The lake began to glow slightly, becoming a deep cerulean as it swirled with the jade and scarlet. The boy turned around and awaited his next orders, puzzled by Lilith’s sudden silence. “Lady Lilith, what should we do for the breath of life? Isn’t that the last part of the ritual?” Her smile widened so much that it was almost feral.

“I’m glad you asked. See, the breath of life was the hardest part, you’ve been such a faithful servant to me, but sadly…” She began to stand, a look of confused then fear crossing the boy’s beautiful, God Touched face. “I have to let you go.”

Before he was able to register what Lilith had meant by letting him go, he found himself coughing up blood and looked down to find her newly attached arm through his gut. Blood began to soak his shirt, but he was too shocked to panic. What? His lips failed to form the word, but his expression told all.

“I lied. You shouldn’t be surprised.”

There was so much more he wanted to say, but as the blood began to rush to his throat, he found it impossible to breathe, let alone speak.

“If it helps, I thought you were a wonderful tool.” A faint smile curled his lips causing Lilith to raise her brow. “Humans.” She almost spat the word as she watched his bright blue eyes fade to a dull gray.

Dropping the corpse, Lilith watched as pearl added itself to the jade, scarlet, and cerulean mix. The final ingredient, the breath of life. The speed of the liquids slowly began to increase until they were nothing more than a blur, and finally, they stopped. Where the four colors had been, was now a single shard of glass, more reflective than the lake on which it floated.

Gingerly, she moved to lift the piece from the lake, her eyes widening in awe. She had done it! And in the mirror, wasn't Lilith, but an image of a girl with glossy black hair, and a pair of mismatched eyes.

Author's Note: Special thanks to Nightcrawler for helping me edit this before I posted it on YWS!

Comments & reviews · 4
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Sarah12
Review
Sarah12 wrote a review · Sun Jan 25, 2015 6:27 pm

Hi! It's Sarah here to review. I have to say, this is a hauntingly beautiful piece. And it is nearly completely free of spelling and grammatical mistakes. Throughout the whole piece, I found only one thing:

"a look of confused then fear crossing the boy’s beautiful, God Touched face."- If you reread this, it doesn't make sense. To reword, I would say, "a look of confusion, then fear, crossing the boy's beautiful, God Touched face."

That is the only thing I found through the entire thing. Your writing flows, its smooth, and it is almost poetry-like, the way it plays with the readers emotions.

Keep writing!

Hi! Thanks for the review! Yeah, I totally didn't notice that typo so I'm glad you pointed that out, I'll get on that right away. What did you think about the death scene?

Sushi :D

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Sherri
Review
Sherri wrote a review · Sun Jan 25, 2015 6:16 pm

Hello!! :D
Let me go ahead and start with: I found absolutely nothing wrong with this grammar/spelling wise! :D I just really wanted to stop by and let you know how great this was. I loved the story, and especially the name Lilith. It's so beautiful :D I have a strange fondness toward interesting and creative names. A lot of people say it's weird, but I think the names say something about the writing style :)
Anyways... amazing word choice, I loved the plot (I will be back to read more as soon as my workload allows, count on it :D ), and I can't wait to read more of the story.
Keep writing! :D

Hi! Thank you so much for the review! If you want, there is a prologue to this story that's been posted if you want to read that one. Chapter one might make a little more sense if you read that XD Thanks again!

Sushi :D

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KyleGrace Review

This is my first time leaving a review, but I am glad to tell you how I feel about chapter one!

First of all, I am captured by the great detail that was submitted throughout your writing. For the most part, your sentences flow nicely, but there are some parts that I don't think complete the scene.

I didn't see any spelling errors or capitalization errors, mostly because I wasn't focusing on that area of critique. Overall, I think your writing is very thought through, using awesome word choice, and very good.

I'd love to see chapter 2!

Kyle

That's always fun writing a first review :) I was wondering, what were your thoughts on the plot? Did you like the gore, or what's your image of Lilith, or anything that just didn't make sense to you or anything that you liked. :) It may not seem like it, but stuff like that helps a ton too if you add those to your reviews ^_^ Also, do you want to be notified when chapter two comes out? (btw, there's a prologue to this story if you want to check it out.) Thanks for the review!!!!

Sushi :D



A snowball in the face is surely the perfect beginning to a lasting friendship.
— Markus Zusak, The Book Thief