The Liberal-Fascist Party Manifesto

by Sureal

Published September 8, 2006

In Rubbish 2

Manifesto of the Liberal-Fascist Party

    ‘Make love, then war.’
Should we be elected the leader of the United Kingdom, we promise to make the following changes:

    1) Everyone will be given far more social and political freedoms. Anyone who disagrees with this position will be shot.

    2) Every man and woman will be given the freedom to vote for, or become a member of, any political party. They will, however, also be shot.

    3) We aim to end one of the most disgusting crimes of our time - racism - by deporting anyone who is not white.

    4) We will end the pension crisis by making retirement illegal.

    5) Any man engaging in homosexual behaviour will be shot.

    6) It will be required by law that all women engage in homosexual behaviour.

    7) We will decreases taxes. Then increases them. Then decrease them again. Anyone who is confused by this will be shot.

    8) The teaching of the theories of Creationism or Intelligent Design in Science classes will be punished with death.

    9) Sex with anyone - and anything - will be made legal. Loving sex between two consenting men will still be illegal.

    10) We believe in freedom of religion (but only if your religion happens to be Atheism).

    11) The porn industry shall be censored.

    12) Children’s television will not be censored in any form.

    13) Any woman who seeks an abortion will be shot.

    14) Anyone who is not patriotic will be shot.

    15) Patriotism will be redefined as being ‘supporters of the Liberal-Fascist Party’.

    16) We will build less prisons. Criminals will instead be shot.

    17) We reserve the right to shot anyone for any reason.

    18) And finally - and perhaps most importantly - we will increase the production of bullets.

Vote for the Liberal-Fascist Party - the party of tomorrow!

Comments & reviews · 19
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MadHatter
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MadHatter commented Comment · Jan 6, 2008

This made me crack up. Then I finished laughing. Then I read it again just to laugh some more.

seeminglymeaningless commented Comment · Dec 30, 2007

loved everything but the racism one. . . . ^^

Vote Sureal, as he is So Real about our wants and need of our nation! Hoo-ha!

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Luxor
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Luxor commented Comment · Dec 17, 2006

Good stuff, Sureal, good stuff indeed. 8)

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ibelieve_inme
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ibelieve_inme commented Comment · Dec 6, 2006

Humorous...yet expressive
nice

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deleted6
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deleted6 wrote a review Review · Dec 6, 2006

LMAO god this is great Jono i love all. This one i'm not suprised about 6) It will be required by law that all women engage in homosexual behaviour.
and the one where it involves getting shot are great.
Every man and woman will be given the freedom to vote for, or become a member of, any political party. They will, however, also be shot.
Anyone who is not patriotic will be shot.

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Crysi
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Crysi commented Comment · Sep 20, 2006

Hahahaha... dude. The last point tied it all up perfectly. Amazing.

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Teufelshund
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Teufelshund commented Comment · Sep 20, 2006

HA! Quite funny...Marx, Hitler, and George Washington are all turning circles in their graves now!

And...


MKWRFKLV!!!!

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Bjorn
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Bjorn commented Comment · Sep 20, 2006

All the better for the economy! :)

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Myth
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Myth commented Comment · Sep 19, 2006

You really would need a lot of bullets if you're going to be shoting as a punishment. :wink:

David Guinness wrote a review Review · Sep 15, 2006

This is...something. :D

Ooh, look at the Ads by Google! :lol:

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Doctor Kitty
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Doctor Kitty commented Comment · Sep 14, 2006

This made me laugh. xD

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Bjorn
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Bjorn commented Comment · Sep 14, 2006

It's juxtapose! :)

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Galatea
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Galatea commented Comment · Sep 12, 2006

Liberal AND facist? How does THAT work?

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Bjorn
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Bjorn commented Comment · Sep 12, 2006

Hehe, great. Some were a little 'meh' but otherwise great. :o

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Gazza_14
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Gazza_14 commented Comment · Sep 8, 2006

Ah good stuff, my favourites are numbers 1 and 6. Sureal, you must succed Tony Blair and lead this country to greatness.

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Dream Deep
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Dream Deep commented Comment · Sep 8, 2006

I can tell. :wink:

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Sureal
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Sureal commented Comment · Sep 8, 2006

I was bored :).

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Dream Deep
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Dream Deep wrote a review Review · Sep 8, 2006

Sureal was dropped as a child... many times... down an elevator shaft... pitched, actually. ^_^

Lol, you're weird, dude. :wink:

But that was amusing, with flippant use of the bullets.

(See Imp? 'Flippancy'... it's contagious...) ^_~



I only know that learning to believe in the power of my own words has been the most freeing experience of my life. It has brought me the most light. And isn't that what a poem is? A lantern glowing in the dark.
— Elizabeth Acevedo, The Poet X