z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

S.P.I. Chapter Three

by SubSubLibrarian


S.P.I. was a government intelligence agency founded in the mid 1960’s by a group of World War II veterans. It was specialized mostly in petty and unnoticed crimes. It was completely anonymous, so they usually avoided murder and armed robbery. Most of their cases involved the trafficking or theft of drugs, weapons, or other illegal substances. This was obviously why Monroe had never heard of it before then.

Alaric had almost recovered from her first few comments, he had regained his smile at least, though it did seem a little uneasy. Thankfully he was still speechless. He had opened his mouth a few times as if he was about to say something, but he closed it quickly each time. His mood only got worse since everyone was teasing him about being overtaken by an amatuer. That was where his lack of words hurt him the most.

Their first order of business was to give Monroe a tour of their facility. It was enormous, dull, and had no windows. She knew where she was, but the lack of windows made it gloomy inside. She wondered why they didn’t just have an above ground headquarters. Surely they could afford it, since she knew they lived off of her money. Of course, they lived off of eachother’s money too, and everyone else’s, but lately it seemed like everyone else could survive, even paying taxes.

Anyways, they were underground in a dark, abandoned bomb shelter, disguised as a storage unit. They showed her the relaxation room, which was meant to be used only when a case was closed, the kitchen, which everyone used when they were done with training, or going over paperwork and case files, the gym, which had plenty of exercise equipment, a basketball court, and a track, and finally the debriefing and interview rooms. They also showed her the offices, but they weren’t important, since there were only four, and they belonged to management. There was a security room and a weapon room, but she wasn’t allowed to go into either of them.

They told her she could begin training whenever she wanted. She had to pass their fitness test before she could join them completely. No one was allowed to take the test more than three times, and if they didn’t pass any of them, the would be demoted to the job they had before they tried to join and their memory would be wiped. You know, just to make sure they didn’t spill the secrets.

The only people whose minds hadn’t been cleared were three evasive men who had all suddenly disappeared shortly after the agency found evidence of a mole. Apparently, they didn’t want to push their luck, so they just disappeared as soon as they could. A few moles who weren’t as smart as them had been caught and their memories had been wiped, then they’d gone to jail.

They didn’t tell her the names of the men who had skipped town, but she was pretty sure the man who gave me the business card was one of them. Not that she would have recognized his name anyway, because he paid with cash and he didn’t say his name. If they described them, she probably could have picked him out though.

Monroe decided to start training after the tour, even though Alaric’s scheduled training time started about ten minutes later. Once she passed the fitness test, she would get a scheduled training time. Since she had a job and family, she would only be able to practice in the early morning, so she would actually have to train with Alaric all the time. She wondered how that would go because she already didn’t like him. It was worth a shot.

Monroe walked into the gym after the tour and got straight to work with stretches, then push ups and sit ups. She wasn’t very out of shape, but her arms and chest could use more exercise. She did a few other exercises before grabbing a water bottle and heading outside for a midnight jog. The sky was the darkest shade of blue and the ground underneath her was even. She jogged around the storage building a few times, then she walked to Marco’s Eatery and jogged back. It was only about a half mile away and her house was about three miles farther, so she decided she’d walk back home from the storage unit and get a few hours of sleep before she had to meet Kathy and finally go to work.

She walked slowly the three and a half miles back to her house, cooling down from her exercise. She was so tired she didn't think about what Wilder would think of her get home so late or, I guess, early. She didn't stop to think about Kathy’s idea, or what that would mean for Alaric. She didn't even think of the enormity of it all. She didn't think she'd ever meet Alaric, let alone hear him try to flirt with her. On the way to her house, up the stairs, and into her bedroom she didn't think at all.

She woke up late. She needed to be at the eatery in 30 minutes. Never mind meeting Kathy, she was way too late for that, although she didn't think about it then either. She rushed out the door, barely stopping to change clothes and eat breakfast. She did think about her plans with her plans with Kathy when she entered the restaurant and Marco was standing at the counter with Kathy.

“Oh Monroe you are here tattoos just telling me about how you might not make it today since you came back so late last night San Marco.

“ About that,” said Kathy, “Can I just ask you one question? Where were you? I thought you were going to meet me. You didn't answer the phone, so I called Wilder and he said that you got home at four this morning, so I just want to know. Where were you?”

“ I was busy,” said Monroe sadly.

“Busy doing what?” She asked exasperatedly.

“I'm sorry Kathy. I can't tell you. I wish I could, but I would get in a lot of trouble if I did. I can't explain, all I can say is that I'm sorry.”

“That's nice to know. Why don't you just tell me that next time too? I hope it was more important than hanging out with your best friend and saying goodnight to your family. Wilder might want some sort of explanation too,” Kathy said, angrily stomping out of the restaurant.

Marco looked from the door to Monroe. “What’s her damage? Why were you going to meet her?”

“She thinks Alaric Pederson is still alive,” said Monroe, rolling her eyes. Then suddenly she stopped. Alaric Pederson was alive. And she’d spoken with him only a few hours earlier. This was the first time she had thought of anything since the tour. Now she had so much more to tell Marco.

“That’s hilarious. So why exactly was she mad at you?” asked Marco.

“Well, she wanted me to help her catch him this morning, but stuff happened last night and I didn’t get home until four o’clock this morning. I slept past the time we were supposed to meet,” said Monroe quickly. “Marco?”

“Yeah, what?”

“Um, last night, I was offered a job. It was really unexpected, but I kind of want to take the job. You see, it’s a once in three billion lifetimes opportunity. Is it okay?” she said.

“Monroe, you know what I want to say, but there is a reason you’re my best waitress. None of the others have as much potential as you, so it’s natural you would want to progress and use your potential, and you can never move up as a head waitress in my restaurant, because I own and manage it. You are already at the top of the pyramid. I think it’s time for you to climb down and explore a new one. You can still come visit, but if I had kept my first job, if I was still just a lowly waiter, you would already be out of a job and quite a few people would never have tasted the most delicious burgers in Detroit.”

“Thank you, Marco,” said Monroe with relief. “But can I keep my job for a week or two?”

“Sure, but I want you gone by next Wednesday,” he told her teasingly. She smiled slightly and got to work.

After her shift and Jackie’s shift, Monroe decided to train some more. She had no idea what S.P.I.’s physical requirements were, but she knew that whatever they were, she hadn’t met them yet.

She followed nearly the same routine as the night before, but shortened it quite a bit. She planned on being home before nine o’clock that night. She had noticed by then that her cellphone had disappeared, so she decided to look for it after training was over. She did her pushups and situps, and jogged to Marco’s and walked back twice. She was ready to go home and explain herself to her siblings by eight o’clock.

All she needed was her phone and she would be on her way. She knew it was either in the gym or the interview room, so she checked both places. The interview rooms were closest, so she checked them first, but she couldn’t find her phone. She checked the gym too, but still didn’t find it. She left the water bottle in her locker at the other end of the gym then walked back into the hallway and past the interview rooms.

As she passed the last one, she recognized the sound of voices. She also recognized the voices. They belonged to the co-managers of S.P.I., Leslie Steele and Adam Howard. Monroe only knew Leslie by her voice because it was the disembodied one in the room when they interrogated her. Adam was the one who gave her the tour and reassured her about the agency, so she did know him. They were having what seemed to be a serious discussion.

Monroe tried to eavesdrop, but she couldn’t hear what they were saying. If she could just move a little bit closer… Suddenly a voice behind her disturbed her thoughts and startled her. It was just Alaric.

“Looking for this?” he said triumphantly, holding out her phone.

She grabbed it out of his hand with one of her own and covered his mouth with the other. She made a silent gesture towards the room and held her index finger to her lips then uncovered his mouth. He questioned her with his eyes, but she didn’t respond and pressed her ear against the door. A few seconds later, he followed suit and was immediately rewarded with confidential information.

“-ought Ezra was dead,” said the woman.

“We have many plausible reasons to believe it was fraudulent. I mean, didn’t we just do the same thing with Pederson?” answered Adam.

“Well, maybe,” said Leslie uncertainly. “He probably got the very idea from us, but if it was faked, he probably didn’t wait for the subject to die. Sick as it may be, Ezra has his own style.”

“So, do you think he found her?” asked Adam.

“I can’t be sure. She did say the man had blonde hair and blue eyes, but everyone is always more descriptive about his eyes, from dazzling to deceiving. In fact many of them just leave out the color completely and his eyes are made of adjectives.”

“That’s true, but he was always the smartest one. The other three just got away by accident and one of them even had his help. He got away by intentionally jumping off a 30 story building. I think he’s the most likely to come back and infiltrate. Others would just run away hoping not to be found, but not Ezra. No Ezra would come straight after us. That’s why, his side or not, Miss Quentess has to go straight after him,” said Adam.

At this point Monroe and Alaric looked at each other, both of them realizing the importance of what was being said. A second later they also noticed that the conversation was coming to an end and they had to get out of there as quickly as possible.

“Have you talked to my sister?” Wilder Quentess asked Kathy, nearly running to keep up with her.

“Yeah, have you?” she said without slowing down.

“No,” Wilder looked down. “Where are you going?”

“Your sister promised me she would come with me to investigate… something. Not only did she not show up or even call me, but when I talked to her, she told me she was too busy to meet me or contact me, and she said she couldn’t tell me why,” Kathy said, turning to Wilder, raising her eyebrow at him. “Now, you tell me. Does that sound like Mona to you?”

Wilder frowned. “Well she’s usually upfront about her plans if that’s what you mean.”

“Something is definitely wrong,” Kathy replied. “We just have to figure out what it is. But first, I have other plans.”

“Oh, really? Now look who’s not being upfront about their plans,” said Wilder, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, you are only obligated to be upfront with your siblings and best friend. I have no siblings and you are not my best friend.”

“You said that you were close enough to family on the other day at Marco’s. Besides, did you tell Monroe what your plans were?”

“You’re more like a cousin,” said Kathy. “As a matter of fact, the main reason I’m so mad is that I had plans with her earlier this morning and she didn’t show up. I never accomplished my plans because I had to go confront her this morning to ask her what in the heck she was doing. Now I still have plans because I never did what I was planning to this morning.”

“Okay. Well, since I’m your cousin, I can help you accomplish your plans,” said Wilder as he glanced up at her.

Kathy stopped and looked him over. “You’re quiet enough, and I need someone to keep watch. Hmm… it’ll work,” she finally decided. “Let’s go.”

“Where are we going?” asked Wilder, almost struggling to keep up with Kathy as she started walking again.

“To a storage unit two blocks from here.”

“But why?”

Kathy stopped again and made eye contact with her new associate. Then, as casually as she could, she said, “To find Alec Pederson.”

Kathy and Wilder watched the surrounding area as well as possible, Kathy with binoculars, Wilder with the naked eye. A few people walked in and out of the storage unit, professionals in looks and composure. They sat mostly in silence, until Kathy recognized a person walking towards the storage unit. She got Wilder’s attention with a tap on the shoulder and he was able to get a glimpse of the man, just as he entered the unit.

“Him?” Wilder said, a little too loudly for Kathy’s taste.

“Shh!”

“I’m sorry, it’s just that he broke into our house the other night,” he said in his usual quiet tone.

“He what?” asked Kathy in a confused whisper.

“He broke into our house. I saw him leave, but he wasn’t carrying anything, so I was just sort of confused. Then, I couldn’t tell anyone because he said they would never find my body if I did. I told Monroe not to go to Ruthie’s party, but I knew she was suspicious, plus she told me that she had to because she promised you she would,” Wilder explained.

Kathy looked slightly guilty. “Then it must be my fault. She caught a ride home with him and didn’t turn up until four o’clock. I made her go to that party. Maybe he threatened her like he threatened you. Maybe that’s why she was so late. Maybe that’s why she didn’t want to talk about it.”

“Or maybe not,” said Wilder. He had looked in the direction of the storage unit, using the binoculars, as Kathy was speculating. He saw something that did not make anything less mysterious or suspicious.

“If she had just listened to you instead of me-”

“Look,” Wilder interrupted.

Kathy glared at him, but looked anyway. She gasped. “It’s him!” Through the binoculars she saw Alaric Pederson enter the storage unit. “It’s really Alaric Pederson.”

Wilder exhaled exasperatedly and adjusted the binoculars so they were pointing to a different area.

“Monroe?”

Monroe and Alaric ran down the hallway as quietly as they could, desperate to get out of the open before the conversation between their bosses ended. They tried every door on their way through the building. They turned right, coming to the stairs and the door they led to. They bursted through the door together and ran around the side of the storage unit. After taking large gulps of air, they looked at each other and immediately started laughing. The sounded of the door opening abruptly stopped them. Now all they could hear was the sound of high heels on pavement. Finally, that subsided too.

“May I have my phone back, please?” asked Monroe.

“You should take better care of it. You can never be sure if your parents can replace it,” he said, handing it to her.

“Actually, I am sure,” she said incredulously.

Alaric frowned. “That’s odd. Not many teenagers know their financial situation.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not a teenager. I’m turning nineteen next month. And I’ve known my parents’ financial situation for months. If I didn’t we would have a dilemma,” she said blatantly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, confused.

“Oh, that’s right. You just got back here a couple of weeks ago, and Shelton doesn’t gossip about things that happened months ago, and you’ve been ignoring your mother, so of course you wouldn’t know. Although, I thought you would be listening to the interview,” Monroe said skeptically.

He smiled blandly and looked at his shoes. “I had to do some paperwork. I had to escape my office just to greet you. I could have gotten in a lot of trouble, but I’m glad I made it out there.”

“How lovely,” she said, rolling her eyes. She tried to turn her phone on, but it was dead. She looked up at Alaric and found him staring at her and smiling stupidly. She decided not to mention it. “I have to go home. I guess I’ll see you later.”

“Right,” he said, briefly looking away. “Bye then.”

Monroe looked at him for a few seconds, trying to determine his emotions. It didn’t work so she turned around somewhat awkwardly and headed back home. S.P.I. seemed so perfect and too good to be true. Now she knew the problem. It wasn’t like they tried to hide it, but it was hard to notice. Part of their job was to keep their emotions to themselves and refrain from showing them. It would be nice not to be so vulnerable, but how would she be able to put a mask on for even a few weeks without forgetting what she looked like or who she was? Alaric had obviously mastered that, but so many others in the agency had failed terribly. Would she be among the majority?

By the time she got home, it was almost ten o’clock, so she thought her siblings would be asleep, but when she walked into the kitchen for a late dinner, Laken, Ellie, and Wilder were sitting at the table. They must have been there for a while, because there were two board games, one card game, and a puzzle sitting in front of them. It looked like their game of Rook was almost over.

“Who’s winning?” Monroe asked uncertainly. All of her siblings stopped playing and turned around, all falling silent.

“When were you planning on coming home?” Wilder asked, breaking the silence.

“An hour ago.”

“That’s great. Where were you?” asked Wilder.

“It’s not important,” she said tiredly.

Wilder stood up. “If it isn’t important, then explain why this is the first time I’ve seen you in over 24 hours.”

“I was at work.”

“Not the whole time.”

“Well, and Ruthie’s party.”

“Two things are wrong with that. Kathy said you left the party at midnight and Marco said you left work today at six o’clock. Can you explain that?” Wilder asked triumphantly.

Monroe knew she had to tell him something. At least as much as she told Marco. “Wilder, don’t freak out, but I won’t be working at the eatery anymore. I had a job interview last night and training this evening.”

Wilder took a step back uncertainly. “What?”

“Were you planning on telling us?” asked Ellie angrily.

“Of course, I just didn’t know how to tell you.”

“That isn’t important right now,” Wilder said. “Why didn’t you tell us? And at midnight?”

“Well, it was sort of really last minute because that was the only time they had to do it this weekend and my phone died, so I couldn’t tell anyone.”

Wilder raised his eyebrow. He already knew she was hiding something. What sort of company would interview in the middle of the night? Just a few more questions and she would either tell them everything or tell them a lie. “Why didn’t you tell Kathy. She could have told us.”

Monroe smiled. His questions weren’t specific enough. “I found out after I left the party.”

“What is the job?” he asked smirking.

“Well, I haven’t gotten the job yet,” she said. “I wouldn’t want to get your hopes up.”

Wilder frowned. She’d gotten past his questions so easily. There must be some question he could ask without giving away that he’d seen her.

“How did you find them and how did they contact you if your phone was dead?” asked Laken.

“Shelton Cornwell works for them. He told me.”

“What does he do?” asked Laken curiously.

Monroe was stumped and Wilder could tell. He started to smile. He’d finally found something she couldn’t tell them. Then she answered, a confused look on her face.

“I honestly have no idea.”

“You mean you don’t know what you’ll be doing?” asked Wilder.

“Oh, he works in a different division,” Monroe said absentmindedly.

Wilder had so many questions he wanted to ask her, but he and Kathy had decided not to give up their advantage until they had more proof and more to expose, so he sat down and asked one last question.

“Why couldn’t you tell Kathy?”

Monroe looked at him blankly. She didn’t have a good answer for that. “I have no idea. I was really flustered and tired. In fact, I’m super tired right now, so I’m going to sleep.”

Only the first statement was a lie. She grabbed an apple and ate it while she walked to her bedroom. The day had been so long and she wanted nothing more than to sleep, but she had an obligation as a friend, even if not everything she said would be true. Besides, she needed to practice lying. No time like the present, right? She took out her phone, plugged it into the charger and quickly texted Kathy before laying on her bed and falling asleep.

I’m sorry. Meet me at Marco’s tomorrow and I’ll explain everything. Goodnight.

Kathy looked at her phone screen and rolled her eyes at the text. Monroe must think she was stupid or something. She pressed delete and soon laid down and fell asleep.


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49 Reviews


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Reviews: 49

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Sun Jul 30, 2017 10:33 pm
DragonWriter22 wrote a review...



Hey there! I'm here to give you a review!

So I haven't read the previous chapters, but I'll give this my best shot. This story sounds really interesting. There's only one or two things I think could have been better about it.

First of all, the dialogue reads a little stilted. It feels like everyone uses the same speech patterns (individual character voice is tricky and in my experience best comes with practice and time), and sometimes the way people speak sounds overly formal or unnatural. Little changes like using contractions such as "you're" instead of "you are" can make the speech sound more natural. An example of where that could be of use is here:

Oh Monroe you are here


There are also some grammar and punctuation errors, but those can be fixed with a quick read-through. I think Alaric was referred to as Alec once or twice. Though that might just be a nickname that I wasn't aware of.

I'm curious about S.P.I.. Despite the information given at the start of the passage, I still have a lot of questions about it. That's most likely because I haven't read the previous parts, but you definitely have me intrigued here. One major question I have which is more related to plot purposes, is whether they'd have better security of not. Kathy and Wilder are able to spy on them a little too easily for how important secrecy seems to them. Also, if Alaric is supposed to be dead, wouldn't they be more cautious about letting him out in the open, even near their own facility?

Anyway, in general this story sounds really exciting and interesting. I love a good spy story and this is warming up to be one. Keep up the good work!




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Wed Jul 26, 2017 4:22 am
PrincessInk wrote a review...



Hello there! I remember reading chapter two but I barely remember so I'll be talking about what I encounter here.

Basically, this is going too fast for my liking. The part where Monroe explored the S.P.I. agency was all telling, while this could have been expanded into a lovely scene where you could flesh out Monroe and other characters' interactions. I imagine that if Monroe's working here, they will be certainly important. Same for some of the other scenes--they can be slowed down and explored more. There can be some nuggets of details hidden inside that can foreshadow relationship and character arcs, plots, basically anything; add seeds of tension; and develop character, plot, and setting; and etc. etc. etc.

Also, the shifts between scenes are rather abrupt and confusing but doing scene breaks in the middle would probably help it. I use "#" for my manuscripts:

Scene #1

#

Scene #2


I'd like to mention that this is in omniscient PoV. While it doesn't mean it's bad, I do want to let you know in case this is supposed to be in deep third (where one character's PoV per scene). Omniscient PoV means that a narrator distant from the story is telling this so they can shine their spotlight wherever they like, dipping in and out of the other characters' heads. Or not. Omniscient PoV can be tricky to achieve without head-hopping--the payoff: it gives the lovely bonus to be able to see how everybody views the events.

A nitpick I have is that I'm not too sure Monroe would be so calm when she realized her cell phone was gone and just continue her workout. I do think that most people would stop what they are doing and look for it because they absolutely do not want to lose it--it is important. (Perhaps, though, Monroe isn't too concerned really.)

I hope this helped you!





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