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by Willard

Sigourney was a saltwater princess
born from a flash flood;
a stray cat I found
stuck between the boards
of a wooden fence.

Her cries mimicked
the local 6 o'clock siren
with a backdrop
of toe beans fettering
on a park sidewalk.

I mirrored the way
her left paw traced
the cracks of the cement,
(fast paced, sloppily),
then ushered her out 
using a combination of
strength and saliva.

"It's okay,
you won't get wet,"
I whispered
as my left hand struggled
getting out a plastic bag.

with precision,
Sigourney was plopped
backwards into
torn up plastic
Have A Nice Day!

Alone we trudged
through flooded baseball fields
and gazebos
to cross the highway.

"Do you want
to go home?
Do you have
a home?"

I took a shortcut through
the Taco Bell drive-thru,
cars honking,
claws breaking through
malleable material.
cotton, skin, etc.

Sigourney said nothing.

because I don't know
if I want to."

Tucked into a bag tucked into a jacket,
we headed westward
as far as we could,
before a cop approached
a teen at midnight
technically committing
a catnapping.

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User avatar
39 Reviews

Points: 427
Reviews: 39

Tue Jan 10, 2017 11:42 am
dystopianmonkey01 wrote a review...

This was really nice to read. I liked the metaphor in the 2nd stanza, you did it really well.

I'm assuming this is a ballad, you've told us what's happened, and you've done it well in my opinion.

The irony at the end is humorous and very well done!

A suggestion would be to make it a bit more poetic. In some places it's a bit narrative-like, for example

"It's okay,
you won't get wet,"
I whispered
as my left hand struggled
getting out a plastic bag.

like you can talk and it would sound like that. It's called prose and I think you should avoid it in ballads.

One last thing: at the beginning you said "Sigourney WAS the blah blah"
Does this mean the cat... DIED??? ;(((((

- Tiana :)

User avatar
226 Reviews

Points: 672
Reviews: 226

Tue Jan 10, 2017 3:48 am
marmalade says...

omg i love cats so much <3 ;-;

Don't gobblefunk around with words.
— Roald Dahl