Full/Frontal/Defeated/At/Last

i really love this poem.

Never could quite comprehend the exact detail you were trying to convey in your writing. I always got pieces of information here and there, and maybe this is because they were the only parts that I related to. Maybe not. As for the 1st stanza, it seems self explanatory, nothing need be said.

As for the 2nd stanza, I can picture this. I always had dreams when I was younger, and I portrayed them in a similar manner. The only different was, for me there was rarely, if ever a second person participating alongside me. There was no Battalion, no, for me there was only the Challenger. Just one.

As for the 3rd stanza, me personally, it reminds of an individual whom has plenty to worry about, plenty of reasons to succumb to whatever personal despair they suffer from. Their are many things plaguing this person's mind, so many examples of what feels' "fake" when it should have been real. Still, despite the idea that it should feel real, and perhaps it is, is it really real simply because it's supposed to be? It's a matter of perception when all other concepts and ideals are dwindled down to nothing.

As for the 4th stanza, that's a gruesome description that I could easily portray in my own way, and in my own experiences and opinions, but it would be as "explicit" as the image itself, and considering my thoughts on the matter, as explicit and then some so I won't mention it on an open board. If you want to know what I'm saying, message me. I doubt you will though. It's nothing important really. Just speculation is all. Not everyone is naturally curious.

As for the fifth and last stanza, there are more ways for me to interpret this than I have the ability to convey. It's actually more difficult to piece my thoughts together about it than to actually just leave some random bit that would seem vague and insulting. The last 4 lines to me are the best portions of the poem. They aren't overly expressive, or truly descriptive. There is nothing about them that really stands out. Openly of course. They are more nostalgic to me. Nights spent in a open field miles from my home, warm, or chilly, clear, or with a slight drizzle of rain, watching the moon, whether surrounded by stars or by clumps and patches of clouds. I've been there. There wasn't anyone to ask me that question however. It was just me, the moon, the wind, and the sounds of the wildlife. It's something that is tormenting and tragic, and yet you can't deny the beauty of it.


It's usually the most beautiful things in the world that suffer the most. Or so I've heard. Who knows really though? Opinions and facts are abundant. Truth is rare. Perhaps even non-existent. Such a vivid piece with plenty of imagery. Indirect as often as direct. Perhaps moreso.

Hey Stranger!

I actually really like this poem. I think you have a good connection between the stanzas. I'm not sure why you labeled them though. The labeling seems pointless. It's not like they're separate acts, they're all the same act, just different parts of it. I feel like splitting it up like this really limits the flow of the poem, and the whole thing goes well together, so why bother? Just, let the stanzas be stanzas.

I can't say I really have a ton to say about this, so I'll do some analysis so you can better tell if what I'm reading, and how I'm reading it, is how you intended it to be read.

i. This section seems to be the most realistic out of all of them for me because of the way you use your nouns. Each of these words have so many meanings behind them that it's difficult not to read the innuendos after you know what they are. In the simplest of terms, putting velcro on butterflies is a startling image, and following that by such a bold like with the alliteration of "detailed" and "deflowering," really makes this feel like one of the more important stanzas in the poem. I'd say the only other one that seems to resonate as important is iv because in it is a sense of the same sort of brutal truth that exists in i, but without the direct image it presents. Instead, it seems more to be talking about the facts of being alive rather than how living now as a freshman can change a person.

ii and iii seem to be a little less intense, mostly because of their length. The longer something is, the harder it is to make it intense. It's sort of like a TV show vs a thriller. Both of them could be murder mysteries, but after the TV show has gone on for a while, it's hard to come up with new material. In ii, I like the imagery, it comes together nicely with the imagery of i, and I feel like it's saying something along the same message, so when we get to iii, and I don't get what "turnt" is, it's a little disappointing, but I chalk it up to my lack of current language changes. The poem makes it difficult to ignore however, when the stanza starts with that simple question and never gives us enough context to figure out the meaning.

I think this stanza is also sort of long considering the length of the scene. You're using just one scene to talk about so many different parts of high school life that it's sort of like telling instead of showing, compared to all the others. Mostly this is because of the last stanza in iii, when you're talking about singing songs. You're showing other things in such a symbolic way, that I feel like this is lack luster at best. I do like the names you used, and how you describe things, but I want this stanza to provide more, not just a rough outline of a day.

Overall, I really like the series, but I think it could use some improvements. Mostly in stanza iii, I think you need to work on delivery of the idea you were trying to capture, and really focus in on just one idea. It's conveying too much at once, and should probably be broken down into multiple stanzas.

This was deep man.
I loved every minute of it.