Chapter Three: Revelation.

by StoneHeart

Published March 21, 2013

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   Dane skulked into school an hour early the next morning, still stinging from his father’s scathing verbal attack last night. He had managed to slip out of the house early that morning and avoid everyone.

   He still didn’t understand why his father had acted like he had? He had always been kind and supportive, if a bit rough, with him. But now he seemed to inexplicably hate him! His mother was distant too, she who had always loved him like no other! His two younger sisters avoided him! Jacob acted like he was scum!

   But Kristen! She had never been close to Dane, she’d liked to keep her distance and leave him alone. Now she was all of a sudden kind and supportive!

   What’s wrong with this world? He sighed to himself as he slipped open his locker and deposited his books and backpack.

   The blue corridor filled with shining lockers was relatively empty, a few students walked briskly about, and a couple teachers passed him, but otherwise nobody was there. He glanced up at the other people as they passed him, he didn’t know who any of them were, and he had never cared to find out. They had simply ignored him, and he had done the same.

   Now that John was gone though, he felt a feeling deep inside him that he was going to need another friend. Jim wouldn’t be around forever. Sooner or later he’d have to leave again.

   Kristen really didn’t like any of the thinks he did. She was a girl, she enjoyed parties, gossip, friends, being popular, and sitting alone in her room. He didn’t much care for any of those things. Her friends all acted as though he didn’t exist, most people did though.

   In half an hour more kids arrived, his simply went outside, leaned against the wall outside the door and waited for the bell to ring. He glimpsed Cara and Maria pass him, surrounded by their tittering friends. They ignored him.

   That hurt.

   Class was more boring than he had ever known it could be, the teachers words were like droning in his ears, and the words in his books seemed to just swim together.

   He found himself leaning pulling some books out of his locker ten minutes before the end of lunch break, having just eaten a quick meal in a corner, miserably.

   A feeling started growing in him, a feeling that he was being watched. He shifted nervously, sure someone was looking at him; the hall was filled with people!

   He quickly spun around; slamming his locker shut, and scanned the crowd jostling about him. He caught sight of her at once, a tall golden blonde girl about his age, leaning against her locker, rubbing the shoulder of her jacket as though it had been bruised.

   He’d seen her before, though he’d never bothered to find out her name. For some reason she had always seemed to stand out in a crowd. But now she was staring intently at him, her light blue eyes curious and watchful. The instant she saw him looking at her, she turned and walked away.

   He frowned, wondering why she was looking at him like that. Everyone in the school knew about his attack by now, but nobody had seemed at all interested. He felt a sudden urge to follow her and ask her for her name. He shook the feeling away and turning, headed for his next class.

  

    He sighed, the school grounds where dark, clouds obscured the sun, and a soft breeze whistled across the ground.

   It’s only three thirty too, he mused.

   He was leaning against a massive oak that had been planted years ago on the school grounds, its majestic trunk was over three feet in diameter and its branches stretched high into the sky, covered in leaves. He sighed again; the last thing he wanted to do right now was return home and face his family.

   The best he could hope for was that Jim would be back.

   He crammed the book he’d been idly flipping through back into his backpack and was about to head for the forest when he caught a flicker of movement out of the corner of his eye. It was that girl again, stepping around the corner of the school.

   Had she been spying on him?

   He felt a flash of anger.” Hey! I saw you!” He yelled, changing direction and running toward the corner.” What do you want?”

   He turned the corner and saw her, pacing swiftly away, heading for the parking lot.” Hey!” He yelled again, stopping.

    She glanced back quickly, but didn’t stop.

    Shrugging his shoulders he turned and ran for the woods.

   The dark trees around him didn’t feel the same though; they felt more foreboding, more menacing, and more dangerous. Instead of the kind, fun things he remembered them as when he’d had a friend to walk among them with.

   He walked aimlessly around for a few minutes before finally deciding he was simply avoiding the inevitable, and he headed home.

   His heart gave a leap as he saw an unfamiliar car in front of the house, and he sped up his pace. A moment later he rushed into the house, hoping Jim would be there.

   He came face to face with his family though. They were all dressed in their best, and looked as though they were about to head out to a party or something. His father glared at him, and shoved past him. His mother and sisters followed, Kristen giving him a sympathetic look as she exited the house.” Jim’s in the kitchen.” She whispered.

   “Thanks; and bye.” He whispered back as the door slammed.

   Tossing his backpack onto the couch he rushed into the kitchen. He saw Jim standing by the stove, stirring something in a frying pan with a spatula. He looked up at him as he entered and grinned widely.” Hey Dane” He greeted.

   Dane embraced him warmly.” Gosh, it’s good to see you!”

   Jim looked slightly taken aback.” Okay, well. I’m making supper here for use!” He gestured to the pan of frying vegetables.

   Dane glanced around the tiled kitchen.” Where’s everyone going? Why aren’t we going?”

   Jim gave a lop-sided grin.” They’re going to some business party; dad’s looking for some kind of promotion. Apparently they forgot to invite us.”

    Dane looked at his muddy shoes.” Yeah, dad’s been saying – “He stopped, not sure what to say.

   Jim glanced sidelong at him.” Let me guess: You’re all of a sudden no longer part of the family. Or at least, you feel like that.”

   Dane gulped.” How’d you know?”

   Jim sighed deeply.” Because, when I was a bit older than you I found out some things about me, about the world. And dad sort of kicked me out, and not just him, everyone else.”

   “Kristen was nice to me.” Dane added, thinking he should be fair.

   Jim nodded, looking unsurprised.” She took me for what I am, took the world for what it is. She isn’t afraid to take the truth.” He sighed.

   Dane frowned.” What do you mean? ‘What you are’, what are you talking about.”

   Jim sighed muttering to himself.” I have to get over this now or never.” He turned to Dane and laid a hand on his shoulder softly.” Dane.” He began uncomfortably.” I promised you answers and I’ll give them.” His expression hardened.” Dane: You’re different.” He paused.

   “Not different in that you’re bullied at school, not different as in you have a top level job in the government, different as in that you are not technically human.” Dane stared at him, certain his brother had gone mad, but Jim just held up a hand and continued.” We are what you might call mutants. Others might call us aliens. Some might call us magicians. But in the end, people like me and you, people like John and Blake, people like the men who attacked you, we’re mutants. We’re descendants of humans who intermarried with what would technically called aliens, beings from another planet!”

    He grimaced.” No, this isn’t something that happened and that the government covered up. No. Thousands of years ago, we don’t know how many, an alien race visited Earth, they were much like humans, but far more advanced than anything we can even now imagine. Carrying in them power’s we will never fully understand, powers that even now would be viewed as magic. But they were war fugitives. They sought refuge on earth, were they attempted to separate themselves from us humans, not sharing any of their knowledge. But, over the years, the humans increased, and their people dwindled, diluting their magical blood with humanity. Now, long after the last pureblood of their race died, much of humanity is ‘infected’ with practically nonexistent strands of their power. Every now and then a human will appear who is . . . different, they have the struggling remains of their ancestor’s powers still in them. Strains that are slightly more concentrated than usual, strains that they can, with training, tap.”

   He sighed, looking down at the floor.” You and I, Dane, are people with those dominant strains.” He glanced up.” Don’t think we’re incredibly rare. We have a massive, thriving community, hidden under earth’s very nose. Our powers can be . . . quite useful.”

   Dane gaped at him, had he gone mad? There was no such thing as magic! Jim was just fooling with him. He glanced at his brother’s dead serious expression. Was he?

   “Don’t deny that there are people out there with powers.” John said ominously.” That’s what dad and mum are trying to do, convince themselves that they’re stupider than they really are. They’re trying to ignore facts when they’re under their nose. And when they’re forced to recognize them, they hate it.”

   Dane sighed.” So you’re telling me I’m some kind of mutant alien’s descendant who can use magic? That my family hates me, and you, because of it.”

   Jim grimaced and leaned against the counter.” Yeah, I found it a bit unconvincing when I was told, too.”

   Dane straightened up, it was time to exercise the time honored test for claims.” Prove it!” He challenged, half of his mind still struggling to shut down and say it was all lies, while the other half tried to use Jim’s claim to prove all kinds of things about him.” Prove that what you just told me is true.”

   Jim nodded and held up a hand, closing his eyes in concentration.

   Nothing happened.

   Then, suddenly, there was a soft flash of light from his hand, a rumble in the wall beside them, and turning Dane found himself face to face with a gigantic red brick fireplace that occupied half the wall. He was quite certain that they hadn’t had a fireplace before five seconds ago.

   Jim smiled at him, tiredly, then flicked his wrist and sent a fireball out of his hands and into the stacked and waiting wood. There was a flash and a moment later they had a crackling fire.

   “That wasn’t a very impressive demonstration.” Jim said with a widening grin.” But I’m good at manipulating buildings.” He held out his hand, there was a soft flash of light, and suddenly flames were dancing along his fingers, bright and orange.” And fire.”

   “I think I believe you now.” Dane decided, staring in awe at the fireplace.” This is amazing!”

   Jim cocked his head.” I never thought of it as amazing, but it certainly is useful. And if you want it to, it can be fun.”

   Dane kept staring at the fireplace, what had just happened he wasn’t sure. But he was sure that it was quite real. And if one factor was real, then the rest probably was, he decided. Jim was some kind of magician, and apparently so was he. A thought occurred to him.” Jim? How did you find out I was one . . . of you guys? And John and Uncle Blake; are they? Where are they?”

   Jim sighed.” Well, usually if you are an Emari, it starts to show when you’re about fifteen. I was ready for it, and caught a couple of signs. As for John and Blake, yeah, they are. The Emari generally like to keep a distance from humans. You get large families, or clans, of them, in which it’s rather rare to find a human child. Blake and John were from one of those clans, though granted, they did have a massive feud with another Emari clans and are practically now the only ones left of their clan. As to where they are, you’ll probably see soon.”

   “Can you teach me how to do what you just did?” Dane asked carefully.

   Jim shook his head and grinned.” No, sorry. That’s not my job. I’m still in training myself, though granted, it’s advanced. Most American Emari go to a massive training facility /school /camp /base /fortress, that’s were John is. I’m based in Saudi Arabia, as you know.” He sighed.

    Dane grinned, it all made sense, all those weird things about Uncle Blake, John, Jim, his family, he himself. It all fit!” Was there a war with the Emari sometime recently? Because John said that Uncle Blake fought for some unknown-“

   Jim’s raised hand cut him off.” Okay. I know what you’re headed at! Drop it for now. That’s the kind of thing you learn at Base.”

  Dane frowned.” Am I going to have to go to that ‘Base’? Where John is?”

   Jim smiled thinly.” Usually it’s rather hard for a family like ours, with no ancient ancestors to get into Southrend Fortress. But we’re not quite normal ourselves . . . I might be able to see about it.” He looked troubled.” It won’t be easy, though I think I should seriously try.”

   Dane hadn’t understood much of what Jim had just said.” So . . . I am going?”

   Jim nodded” Probably!”

   The fireplace gave a loud snap “When?” He asked enthusiastically.

   Jim grinned.” I don’t know exactly. It probably will only take a day or so.” He glared at the fireplace which was now freely popping.” You should go get packed here.”

   Dane was shocked now.” That fast?” He asked uncertainly, feeling like things were going a little bit too fast.

   Jim nodded and said sarcastically.” Why wait? I think we’ll stay home long enough to announce the news to our dear family, and then go. Now go, pack only what you want, not what you need. That’ll be taken care of.”

   Dane nodded and trotted out of the room, his life was in for a big change.

   “I’d better get this out of here before dad come’s home.” He heard Jim mutter behind him, and knew that he was probably glaring at the crackling fireplace again.

Comments & reviews · 2
barefootrunner wrote a review Review · Mar 31, 2013

Hi there! Another review for you!

Good, here you are getting into it. I really like how you chose to explain it, so it doesn't all turn into a huge information dump. Just really work hard at your grammar and writing style, and you'll have a truly great story on hand.

I'm starting to see more character development here, and a touch more delicate style. It just goes to show that when you write what you enjoy most, everything comes out better. I can't wait to see base!

Plot:

Aha! Everything is unveiled and the reader now knows what this story is all about. Good job! It still has a good thread going -- who were those strange men? Why did they beat them up? What does Base look like? Will everything work out? There is also still this lingering sense of danger. Well done indeed!

Character Development:

There is still something missing here. I really need some character flaws. I also need a more decisive sort of personality. So far Dane hasn't really done anything, just moped around. He should also be trying to do something, else the reader loses all interest and sympathy! Don't just let him be thrown around by the waves of fate.

Writing Style:

A great improvement, but work on your grammar and vocab. Get going with more descriptive work and strong words that say a lot with little fuss. Delete adjectives if you can and replace them with stronger verbs.

So well done! Every time you write, I like it more.

User avatar
abelgaiya
Review
abelgaiya wrote a review Review · Mar 22, 2013

Aha, now you've reached the peak of the story. Everything's in place now, and the main plot has been unveiled. Covering the plot until the middle of the story was an effective style; yet it was inefficient for attaining readers due to the superficial insignificance of chapter one.
So a logical solution would be to insert small, but mysterious elements in the first chapter to eliminate the voice in the reader's head which says 'this story is just another boring one'

Please keep on writing as it would be unfortunate if this story ends up unfinished.
Will follow you.



You're given the form, but you have to write the sonnet yourself. What you say is completely up to you.
— Madeleine L'Engle, A Wrinkle in Time