Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for violence and mature content.
Alexander then woke up with his left arm and right leg in a tense strain but it quickly went away as he started to move around which was when he saw that it was about seven am and in two hours he had to be in the other town. After an hour of taking a shower and washing a show, he goes downstairs and to the side of the building to find his little car. The car was barely standing with a rough, dirty inside, a rusty red outside, and a radio that did pick up stations but Alexander wasn't in the mood to listen to any music cause it was only a ten-minute trip and the radio hurt the battery. He then got into his car and drove to the one-way road that took him to the other town. He watched the flat fields beside the road to ease his mind of his nightmares and after passing an abandoned stone building with two large broken garage doors he saw a green rectangle sign that read Leaving Napkin a mile later he found a new sign reading Welcome to Urey and a new town than he left. This one had skyscrapers and buildings that were taller than the perfectly trimmed trees, the sidewalks were mostly clean with no trash on them and the roads looked brand new. The few buildings Alex did see however showed the same kinetical blah sign on each which made the place have an eerie look to it.
Pushing that fear aside he arrived at the doctor's office and after driving up a car park to get to one of the many floors he found floor eight and after driving around found door number two. He never did ask the young lady about the floor or door situation but I guess her voice distracted him from doing so. He then felt a prick of panic as he quickly looked around for the flowers he bought for her but realized he left them at home. After being angry with himself for a moment he locked his car and walked to the second door where he found a pure white room. The room had white walls, marble flooring, and a white built-in desk like the ones in Banks it was so bright it made Alexander have to blink a few times just to adjust to the new lighting. A new red light then turned on and blarred a loud buzzer sound which had a young woman sitting under it. The woman looked like she just got out of college and had a fully clear face, she had long brown hair that was freshly combed and a white shirt with a blue kinetical Optometrists logo stitched on.
“Welcome to Kinetical Optometrists. Do you have a meeting?” That same voice from his phone.
“Uh yes, I was the one who called in yesterday for a checkup.”
“Ah yes, well here's some paperwork for you to fill out and you can have a seat over there as you do so, ill be here to collect it and a doctor will be out shortly for your checkup sir.”
“Oh alright” Alexander then moved to a small glass table that was surrounded by two strangely grey couches. Sitting on them was uncomfortable because of how stiff they were but he digressed as he filled out his paperwork with quick precision. With his name and date of birth being the first then came the question Have you had any other Optometrists? This made him think but checkmark no because he's had his glasses since he was a young boy. The next and final question of the first paper was Family who has worked with us which Alexander quickly put down as no. After filling out more things like liability papers he gave the paperwork back to the young lady and went to sit down. The second he sat down however he had to stand as the doctor entered the room.
“Hello there sir my name is Doctor Richards but you may call me Mr Richards” The tall broad-shoulder man opened his hand to shake.
“My name is Alexander um Mr. Richards and I believe I'm your patient”
“That's good to know 'cause if you weren't I probably would have to ask you to leave” The man laughed a gut-filled laugh. He then walked him into a long almost endless hallway with many identical plants next to benches next to paintings of the letter I with a magnifying glass looking at someone on a table.
”So what seems to be the problem Mr” The man checked the paperwork
“Skopien”
“Well as you can see my eyes have changed color but there are also some other things”
“Mhmm mhmm” he agreed writing down on some papers behind a clipboard as he listened.
“I keep having these night terrors and believe it or not these glasses are stuck to my face and I think wearing them so much is giving me these problems”
“Well I don't know how to say this but I'm not your therapist Mr. Skopien” The tall man jokingly said.
“I'm many things, an Optometrists, a Surgeon, a Manager, and even a part-time carpenter and real estate agent but sadly not a therapist,” the tall man said showing off his talents.
“I understand but... look try and take these glasses off” The tall man then shrugged and after jokingly stretching his arms and making his knuckles crack gently grabbed the glasses and took them off Alexander's head. Alexander was surprised by this because they'd been stuck on him for weeks, he touched his face and behind his ear in amazement before realizing he must look crazy.
“They're all better, so how do you feel?”
“ Honestly I'm shocked”
“Well, you welcome sir while watching ur eyes seem to have changed shape according to our machine that you saw outside in the waiting room. Your eyes seem to have just changed and there doesn't seem to be any damage so maybe just take the glasses off once in a while unless you need them for driving of course.”
“Yes of course thank you”
“Oh and While you're here I'm gonna write down your information into our database so you won't have as much trouble when ur here again” While he typed at incredible speed into his computer Alexander got curious and decided to budge in.
“Uhh well since I have you for time how can you have so many talents and jobs at once.” The man then looked at Alexander and laughed smiling to himself.
“Well, it is difficult at times but the Kinetical company helps all its workers have time to enjoy their work while getting paid in the process. I love talking to people and making jokes as you can see so they got me into real estate and manager of many different areas of work such as construction and the learning facilities but they noticed how gentle I am with things and turned me into a surgeon and Optometrists.” Alexander was truly shocked by this, seeing someone or many people happy with their job and doing what they want while getting paid was a sort of dream to him so then without thinking Alexander asked the man.
“ Do you know of a small bookstore in the town over called Tina's Library?” The man then grinned.
“Why yes I do, their owner there actually has fought with us in the past but I hope one day we can get his property.”
“Well..” Alexander kinda quietly said “I am that man” The tall man then widened his eyes at this and started to sweat.
“I-I apologize for my use of wording there sir uhh and take your time with that decision”
“No no, it's fine I have something to ask about my store”
“And that is?”
“How much is it worth?” With this question, the man laughed and smiled at Alexander which made him a little defensive.
“Your property is worth the world to us sir, and honestly what we were gonna do is offer you a job as one of the librarians at our library located just a few blocks from here” Alexander was excited but needed to stay composed.
“Well sadly I live in my library above the building roof where there is a small apartment”
“Don't worry sir we have dormitories for all of our residents who work here in the Kinetical company so there is no need for housing arrangements or secondary taxes”
“Oh wow,” Alexander then thought about how he would pay for this eye doctor's help and generosity.
“Yes, well I've just got done writing down your information for the examination of your eye, and like I said you just need to take them off to avoid headaches and such things.” He handed back the glasses to Alex who mistakenly put them on as a common move. He then felt his heart skip a beat as he quickly reached for the glasses only to find they were able to take them off and on again and again. He then walked to the lobby from the hall and before he left was grabbed by the tall man.
“Before you go I want you to take a look at this” The tall man then showed Alexander a video of people, young and old going into a small wood wood-furnished clean library and checking out books as a man from the other side gladly greets them and points them to there respected book genre areas.
“This is the life footage of yesterday morning at the city's library cause were always packed.” Alexander couldn't believe the amount of people that were there as he was at the store getting flowers. The tall man then gave Alexander some papers and a pen prompting Alexander to wonder.
“What's this?”
“In short Mr. Skopien, I'm asking you face to face man to man to sell your property to us, and in exchange, I can have you get a job as a librarian here in the city and your very own room”
Alexander couldn't believe this, this life-changing opportunity dangling in front of him. He then closed his eyes as he saw the tall man reach his hand up.
“What do ya say?”
What does Alexander say? I mean he's been fighting for the bookstore for so long, enjoying the small moments of people coming in and then barely getting through the moments without. Do I really wanna leave behind my small library in my small town just so I can have a successful library?
“No don't do it if you do ill have to do this again just refuse and tell the guy that you need your sad little building”
“If you do we will all be happy and be successful, we will get paid to do what we love and be able to have so much time for our books.”
After some careful thought after hearing both sides, Alexander smiled and raised his hand to shake the men.
“Let's do it”
“Perfect well with that settled and as your new boss you are to go to the buildings built in home units and sign yourself in, you'll be working the library as said previously and you have till next month to move in and please contact us for free help in shipping anything you need shipped and as company quota Welcome to the Kinetical Family.” After writing down his signature a thousand and one times the tall man then handed Alexander a keycard and walked back to the hallways with the papers in tow.
With the keycard Mr Richards placed in his pocket to his dorm room on floor three room five he walked to his car and got inside looking to see the secretary smiling back at him and waving. Alexander felt good that day with his answers given to him and his life truly starting again. He was so happy that he even turned on his radio to listen to some music and relax. He got onto the long black road that took him back to his small little town thinking about his new life and a new job where he could work in a new bookstore and all he had to do was just sign a paper with no extra cost. Wow, how exciting Alexander thought as he realized what he was going to do. Could he? I mean he fought tooth and nail for his little bookstore all because of… something, maybe it was the aura of the building or his love of reading books he never truly knew so maybe letting them win is just what he needed. To start again and be happy.
It's time for me to start my new life and live like I did in my youth Alexander thought a smile being the final cut into his face.
“Danggit well this isn't gonna end well it never does but at least we will be ok”
“Yay I won again, I can't wait for the next time where ill beat your butt again”
Not listening to the craziness that was his inner conscience he turned up the radio as a new song came on. The song talked about how no matter what happens to a poor boy he can never catch a break but to him, it doesn't matter cause it'll just happen anyway. Like Alexander giving up on his store, there was nothing that could stop them cause in the end Alexander would've died and they would've got the store so why not just give it to him and live a happy life instead?
His left arm tightened around the steering wheel.
“Next time I'll win and I won't be the sad one”
“Can you turn the music down please”
Alexander then heard a small noise in the back of his car but drowned it out by singing to the music. The song then talked about a boy who wasted his life just as Alexander did with his silly little bookstore and a small cold bowl of soup and barely toasted bread reading books instead of going to barbeques and hanging with others.
His right leg tightened and he began to speed up.
“Seriously it's so hard to win while being mr negative it's unfair”
“Can You PLEASE Turn The Music Down… Please Please Please.”
Alexander then heard the sound of the back of his car and subconsciously joined into one as when he turned to investigate the noise he saw the figure from his dreams cowering in his backseat.
“What Is That???” Alexander screamed as his left arm finally gave way and Alexander's car swerved as a loud horn blarred in the distance and Alexander was thrown to his side.
Dutch was sitting down in his car enjoying his repeated lunch at his favorite fast food joint of a barbeque burger, waffle fries, and a coke when all of a sudden his radio blared.
“All units in the outskirts of Napkin there is an 11-83 on the road between Napin and Urey requesting a code 9 and an 11-85 on the scene”
“Ten-four I'm on the way,” said Dutch as he licked away his barbeque fingers and drove towards the accident his siren blaring. Arriving at the scene found a local ambulance and fire truck from Urey taking a body out of the now crushed red vehicle. A truck driver is on the scene with his hat to his chest and a dent front engine. After checking the truck driver's testimony and putting him in the back of his cruiser he walked over to the wreckage to find one of the new deputies on scene that had been training.
“Tell me something dept”
“Well, the name of the known deceased man was Alexander Skopien” Dutch then froze looking toward the distant ambulance that now holds his sleeping mangled friend.
“Everything alright sir?” Dutch then coughed and breathed for a moment needing to keep his composer.
“Everything fine Dept it's just that I knew him that all.” The deputy then shrank his shoulders and apologized.
“Nonsense Dept this is the type of thing you have to get used to as a Police officer.”
“Yes sir, well besides his driver's license the only thing found in the wreckage was a pair of glasses.”
Dutch then looked upon the glasses and then his cross and asked the deputy to give it over.
“Why? You need a new pair old man” The deputy laughed scolding him as if he was off the job Dutch replied by touching his body cam which made the deputy quickly quiet.
“No, not at all but.” Dutch was in thought for a moment
“Did you ever read a bible verse about The Lord giving sight to the blind? Well, maybe we can give those who need it. After all, something you should know as my deputy as an officer we do everything for the people of our town, and as my deputy, you would know it's the right thing to do.”
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Hey there, Stickles!
The first thing I noticed about your writing style is that you have a tendency to write looong sentences with very little punctuation. And honestly, I love it. It's Cormac McCarthy-esque, and lends a sort of stream of consciousness style to the storytelling, in a way that doesn't take itself too seriously and simply feels like someone relating a story as they remember it. It's refreshing! You clearly have a good sense of rhythm, too - the sentences roll along nicely, with good cadence and pauses.
A small thing I wanted to point out here. Because the "Skopien" part was a new paragraph, I thought that it was Alexander speaking, but I'm not sure that it is. Here's how I'd recommend formatting it:
This happens a few times in the text and was a bit confusing for me each time. I'd keep an eye out for that from now on!
I also wanted to call this shift in the story to your attention. My first thought was that Dutch is the figure from his dreams now in the back of his car, enjoying a fast food feast. There is no indication that we're totally switching scenes between Alexander's car crash and the cop's lunch break. What I would do is add a simple "---" divider, or edit the sentence slightly to "Meanwhile, across town, Dutch was sitting..." or something like that.
Aggh no, Alexander! It seemed like everything was finally falling into place for him and he had his life figured out, only for it to end, just like that. I was a bit suspicious about how easily everything fell into place at the eye doctor's office with very little effort on Alexander's end. If he and the optometrist had been able to solve things regarding the property so quickly and easily, it makes me wonder how they hadn't gotten to that point before, since clearly they had been in communication about it. I'm wondering if the optometrist is somehow tied into the whole weird "figure from a dream" aspect, since he was the only one that was able to break the "spell" of the glasses staying stuck to Alexander's face. I also noticed that the doctor didn't really treat him as a weirdo in any way, which makes me think that the optometrist saw it coming.
I really enjoyed this! I liked how rather than the story ending with Alexander's death, we switch perspectives (the title of the story!) and see how things carry on in this world with a couple other characters. It's a nice way to reveal Alexander's death and to wrap things up.
Keep up the good work!
Wolfi
Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Shalt we commence with the spooky S’more?
Top Graham Cracker - Alexander goes to the very place he swore to never enter…Kinetical Optometrists. The tall man tells him that his glasses can easily come off, that he should just give up his bookstore, and he listens. But in the end, Alexander dies…
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - I think that you meant to say “I’ll”, but that’s just one little thing.
Chocolate Bar - Where do I begin? Well, for starters, I liked how it seemed impossible to take the glasses off, but when Alexander went to the eye doctor facility, the glasses came off easily. As though he were crazy…I also liked the ending, when he died and thought that giving up his bookstore was the best thing to do, even though he made it for his niece. It was as though the world wouldn’t have it within his decision and crushed him in the process.
Closing Graham Cracker - An unsettling story of perspective and what it can do to a person…I enjoyed reading it! I especially loved the mysterious glasses with the opposing viewpoints, it seems like they were a metaphor for Alexander’s thoughts.
I wish you a wondrous day/night!