Moonlit Waltz
Waltzing a tap dance
In a garden
Made of moon-gleam
Leaves of silver
Wind-swept hair
A single tear
Glistening as it falls
To frosted ground
Dancing alone
With uncertain steps
Unknowing audience
Trees swaying
A secret whispered
On the wind
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,635 Literary Works • 673,572 Reviews
thank you everyone!
great poem. nice, easy but powerful and full of imagery. one can feel different emotions while reading this peice. its light reading for the light hearted and free spirited. it also has a myterious feel to it. kind of like a secret. great peice i wouldnt change a thing. every time read again it just gets better. keep it up !!!! awesome job!
Very nice...
I like the simplicity of it, and it does get a definite emotion across.
I agree with Demeter with at least the word "Unknown" isn't quite right here, but I think "uncertain" might still be okay.
My only real qualm with this:
a waltz is a nice slow dance, so that word fits nicely in the context, however... a tap dance is almost too happy a dance for the mood you are setting... They are also two very different dances, so if you were going for a bit of paradox, then by all means keep it that way.
Just my thoughts, definitely good work on your part!
Oh, how beautiful! Really, I liked this very much, even though it was such a short piece. There is a little melancholic atmosphere and pretty imagery, which I like much.
This is a little funny and contradictory, but I'm almost sure that it's how you meant it to be.
These words don't fit in the poem, so I suggest you replace them with other words.
You should also perhaps use some punctuation.
Other than these things, great job! Welcome to YWS, by the way
(This was my 700th post and 230th review, so feel special, haha)
Demeter xxx