"Mom I wanna tell you something before I ..." And the line got disconnected - forever!
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Canary word: Present
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125,024 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Well...that...was quite a bit of suspense to leave us in there now...xD...I do love these one line stories, its not too often you run across them on YWS but these are always quite fun, cause you just really get to overanalyze them to death and well...that's always a lot of fun to do.
Well...anyway lemme get to dissecting this one here. Its one of the most interesting single lines I've seen, there's a lot you can try to interpret this as and it seems to all be mostly something pretty sad, it doesn't look there are too many happy interpretations for this at any rate.
Okay...well getting to the interpretations, its pretty clear there's a phone call happening here and well, it looks like a child wanting to tell something to their mother but the line goes fully dead, and well, that last bit which says this is going to be dead forever really does narrow down the possible options here somewhat.
Hmm...so well at this rate it looks like its probably some kind of kidnapping attempt, or maybe even something as crazy as a bombing or an apocalypse or something that's just generally suuper destructive happening to where the child is and them never getting to say whatever it was to their mother. Or it could just be the phone lines collapsed or something and they were talk about the weather...xD...well that's kind of how it is...and well this one definitely is quite fun to try and decipher but yeah that's about all I can come up with, and so...that's all I've gotta say for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
So you have managed to grab my attention yet again Mr. SportyWriter.
It is said that writing a terrible work is quite a difficult job. But I guess it comes naturally to you. I mean why in the world do you want to waste your 300 points on something like this? What was it?
The funniest part is the fact that for a review i must write 5 sentences but for a work one sentence is acceptable? What exactly do you mean by line got disconnected?
I would like to classify your work in the 'so-bad that it is good' list and rest my case.
Also, to the people who thought I said "fail" as in the story was bad, you were incorrect xD. First of all, I thought the person who was talking to the mother was called a "fail". Second of all, I kinda liked the story. The reason I said "fail" was because the kid was probably gonna either get int trouble by the mother, or that he needed help and the line got disconnected. Sorry for the misconception Sporty
I am really sorry about that then. I just heard that he left due to trolls, and I thought it was you... I really hate when people leave due to things like that. I am really sorry again.
It's alright, it was all a misunderstanding :/.
I love the concept of this, but i'm not sure if its a real story. The makings of a story include characters, plot, conflict, and resolution. You have some of those, but not all, therefore it is not a story.
. You have to continue this on some other site, or by yourself. It could be something grand 
.
Otherwise, I love this...sentence. It says a lot about the person and the family you have half created
Thumbs up
So, unlike some people may think, I actually think this deserves to be featured and does not resemble some other pieces like this that get featured (ehem, Strangelove, Blackwood, ehem, what?
)
I suggest you take away the and in the second sentence. It flows better and it would work just as well to say, "The line got disconnected-forever!" Or, if you want to keep some of that "and then this happened dun dun dun", I suggested changing the and to unfortunately.
"Unfortunately, the line got disconnected-forever!" It also adds a little more humor to the story; it pokes fun at the reader for wanting to know.
Nice suspenseful story, and made me laugh. Great job!
Overall rating: 9/10
+1
LOL
xD
I really liked that this was literally a short story. I would have liked to seen more use of suspense though, I suppose there's only so much suspense that can be included in one sentence. Regardless, I look forward to seeing more actual short stories like this on here.
If you liked this, here's my second work
The Flight is on time!
Hi there! HappySmilers here to rreview!
keep up the writing!!
Well, for starts this is very interesting! I dont beilve I have ever seen a short story quite like this before! It does leave me at the edge of my set, wondering what the duaghter wishes to tell her mother! The only reason I can think of luaghing is cause of how short it is! It is not the normal thing you see every day, and that is kinda neat to see it up on the spot light of the day!
If you liked this, here's my second work
The Flight is on time!
Hey, SportyWriter! Unknown391625 here with another review!
This is really interesting. It's very suspenseful, mysterious, dramatic, and humorous. The only reason it's humorous because you left it that short. I am glad it got Literary Spotlight. Anyways, good job! You categorized the genres perfectly. same with the rating. Flawless! I will read more of your stories. Don't give up and always write, SportyWriter!
-Unknown391625
Thanks for commenting!
Like I said to confused Glass, this isn't just a funny one liner. It can be assumed as a funny story or a story of separation where the person lost contact with his/her mother. Maybe the person was murdered? Maybe he abandoned his mother or maybe the line just got disconnected... The story can be interpreted in any way
AHAHAHAHAHAHA this is hillarious!
NIce avatar by the way I like it.
Do you ever plan on making this longer? If you do let me. I wanna know whats so important.
Thanks for commenting! But this is not as straight as it seems.
In a deeper sense if you observe, this could well be a tale of separation of a girl/boy from his/her mother. "The line got disconnected forever" might mean they never talked to each other again... But the reason I have given only one sentence is to keep things open for interpretation. This can be taken as a funny one line or a deep story..
I know. I though about it after i posted the comment. It would be great whichever way you spin it into honestly. An I think I'd like it anyway.
Here's my second work. Maybe you'd like it
The Flight is on time!
....Faillll xDDDDDD
I'm sorry, are you just doing this to push him/her off the site? Cause that's what happened, and you contributed to that. You don't like it? Don't comment! GOD, people!
Actually, I think this is a form of cyber bullying. I am reporting.
I hope you're kidding xD
xD This doesn't look like bullying
I know the real bully! *hides* 
Spoiler
Maybe I interpreted this wrong, but to me it sounds like you are hating their work.
I like this! I feel like this could become a form of short story at some point in time.
Leh?
Hi dreamy, here's my second story (thanks to Gaurav for suggesting me the title
The Flight is on time!