This is a nice poem, but to be truely contructive I have to comment that the last lines don't really flow with the rest. It's clear that your trying, and as the other comments have stated...Improving. But you haven't quit reached it yet. If this were my work, I'd reword the last lines, to help them fit better. Part of good poetry is making each line fit. Kind of like a puzzle, you understand right? Other than that this is a well written poem
Points: 890
Reviews: 7
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