(An interview between Brooks and Alice. January 23, 2003. Alice's Mother, Ms. Ann's house.)
Brooks-Hello there, little lady, my name is Brooks.
Alice-...
Ms. Ann-Alice darling, greet the nice interviewer. Sorry she's shy. Brooks-No, no it's alright. Hey Alice, can you do me a favor? Can you say your name again? For the recording.
Alice-My name is Alice.
Brooks-That's a nice name kid. Your Mom tells me you've seen strange things. Can you tell me about it?
Alice-You'll believe me? Brooks-Of course! Trust me, I've heard much weirder. So, what's happening?
Alice-There's a man that lives here, not a man like Daddy was. He's younger. And, he plays that piano.
Brooks-That piano over there?
Alice-Yes.
Brooks-Does he have shiny medals?
Alice-Yes! They’re really cold. How did you know?
[LAUGH]
Brooks- A lucky guess. Hey, can I ask your Mom a question?
Ms. Ann-What's wrong?
Brooks-Nothing's wrong ma'am. If you don't mind me asking, do you have a boyfriend?
Ms. Ann-No, I've been too busy raising Alice after her father's death.
Brooks-Alright, please continue Alice.
Alice-He plays the piano when I'm sad. And, he walks me to the fridge when I need water at night. Oh, and he keeps me company when Mommy's working late, and Grandma is asleep.
Brooks-Can you tell me what the man looks like?
Alice- He has glasses, and flat hair, like the hair in the old grey cartoons Grandma shows me. And, he's wearing a suit, oh and he coughs a lot. But, he tells me not to worry about it, and that he's fine. Also, also the medals he wears, once he said he can’t take them off.
Brooks-Okay. Hey, I have a question, how old is this house, and how long have you owned it?
Ms. Ann-It's maybe...60ish years old. My mother bought it with her husband.
Brooks-Okay. Hey Alice? Can you tell me when you started seeing the man?
Alice-It was after Daddy died, and Grandma began hanging out with me more. I had a nightmare...and I was too scared to go all across the house to Grandma. That's when he appeared. He sat on the edge of my bed, and he was glowing like a night light, then he told me stories until I fell asleep.
Brooks-What kinds of stories did he tell you? I would love to know.
Alice-He tells me stories of his father. His father was a hero, and saved people from bad people. He would warn me about bad air, and got nervous when I told him I accidentally fell in a ditch. I hold his hand during the fourth of July. He tells me it's okay to be scared, and that he doesn't like the loud noises. He said bad people would use things with loud noises, but fireworks are okay.
Brooks-That's nice. But, I have a few odd questions. Has he tried to hurt anyone? Or destroy anything? I don't think he has, but it's one of the things I have to ask.
Alice-No! he hasn't hurt anything!
Brooks-Okay, here let's try something new. Has he protected anything? What good has he done? He sounds like a nice man, so tell me more about him.
Alice-Once I was getting something, and our cat, Whiskers, knocked over something from the top shelf. It was falling towards me, like, really quickly. But, he stopped it, he grabbed it and moved it to the table. And he's teaching me to play the piano, that way, even when he's not here, I can hear music.
Brooks-Well, that's all the questions I have. Whoever that man is, he sounds amazing. I wish all of you the best. And, Ms. Ann?
Ms. Ann-Hm? Brooks-You did a good job raising her, she's very polite.
Ms. Ann-Oh, thank you.
Alice-The man is waving at you.
Brooks-Well, then let me wave back. (END NOTES)
Brooks-While sufficient evidence for a haunting has been presented, I have refused any further action. Much to Rowan's annoyance.
Rowan-You know it was a haunting. Yet you refuse to help them?
Brooks-Because they don't need help, that kid was perfectly safe, it was not a malicious ghost. It'll probably fade once she grows up.
Rowan-What if it doesn't? After all, every malicious ghost was once passive.
Brooks-That's future Brook's problem. Honestly, I don't get you! One case you don't want to send help, but another you desperately want to? Pick a side.
Rowan-Are you still mad about the case about the wife? We didn't do anything because we were working off an injured man's theories. In this case we-
Jamie-Can both of you be quiet! I'm trying to do work.
Brooks-Sorry...What do you even do? Except for answering the rare phone call or email.
Jamie-Keeping you two idiots from killing each other. That, and sorting digital files, along with the calls and emails. Now, get back to work.
Brooks-Okay, umm...Through my investigations, I have found out some very interesting things. Ms. Ann's mother was married twice. Her first husband was a high school sweetheart, and they bought the house just before WW2. She ended up being pregnant with Ms. Ann, but sadly her father never met her. This is due to him dying from chemical gas. Apparently, he was buried in a suit, his medal pinned to it. After WW2 ended, she remarried, but her new husband was a horrid cheater. He did die shortly after the women's rights movement passed. Police had no clue what killed him, what made him kick the bucket, we'll probably never know.
End of chapter
Continue to next chapter Chapter 3:Statement #1. Outbreak.Points:
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141,385 Literary Works • 674,386 Reviews
Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Shalt we commence with the ghoulish S’more?
Top Graham Cracker - Alice and her Mom, Ms. Ann, are with Brooks, talking about the strange man. It is deduced that it is a ghost speaking to Alice, but at least the ghost isn’t malevolent! For now…
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - I have no recommendations to make as of right now, but if you would like to edit this, then you may.
Chocolate Bar - I love the way that Alice talks about the man! It’s very clear that he cares about her and it’s so wholesome to read about a kind ghost! I do hope that he doesn’t turn out to be evil, though…and I also like how Brooks was asking all of the important questions! She knows that it’s a ghost, but she doesn’t want Ms. Ann to worry, so she doesn’t say anything! The interaction between Alice and Brooks was very cute, too. ^v^
Closing Graham Cracker - Overall, a sweet chapter to this spooky story! I think that the ghost may have killed the new husband, but I could be wrong! I cannot wait until more chapters come and when they do, I will be sure to read them! I enjoyed reading this and…
I wish you a gorgeous day/night! ^v^
Hey SpaceSailor! This is Alex, back with a review. I read the first interview and I just had to check this one out as well. So let's dive right in!
The first thing I notice is the lack of paragraphing. I don't know if it was an intentional choice or a mistake, but I believe this makes it incredibly difficult to follow. I remember when I was new here, I used to have this problem too. The site removes all the paragraph breaks when you paste text some text. It's frustrating, I see you. But you can easily edit it by the 'edit work' option under the publishing center, if this was indeed merely an error. If it was planned, I'd suggest thinking it over once. Of course it's your call to make but as a reader, a single large paragraph looks exhausting, boring and too much at once. I think necessary breaks go a long way in creating a lasting impact. Let me show you how you could structure it-
Brooks-Hello there, little lady, my name is Brooks.
Alice-...
Ms. Ann-Alice darling, greet the nice interviewer. Sorry she's shy.
Brooks-No, no it's alright. Hey Alice, can you do me a favor? Can you say your name again? For the recording.
Alice-My name is Alice. Brooks-That's a nice name kid. Your Mom tells me you've seen strange things. Can you tell me about it?
You can also bold the names for added emphasis! It'd making out the dialogues much more effortless.
That's pretty suspicious.. What he said sounds too specific to be just a random guess. Maybe Brooks knows something he isn't letting on? Can he see the boy too?! That'd be too wild of a plot though, I'm afraid. It could be that he has some previous experiences with this particular case, from other witnesses or even his own past. But something tells me it is a well known stereotype, much like a bedtime story joke. From the presentation of the story, I believe this boy to be a ghost or spirit. However, it's too early to say for sure.
I think you repeated 'also' once, right here. But the plot is so intriguing, like what would happen if he took out the medal? I'm getting fantasy or paranormal vibes here. Maybe he'd disappear without the medal? It could be a magical or supernatural artificial, for all we know.
I think I can see where you're going with this. So the spirit has been in this house since the boy died here and the Anns bought the house afterwards. But considering how he showed up after Alice's father died, only to comfort her, I feel like he's a good ghost. Is that even a thing lol? Love how the plot is being steered now, finally.
Now there's some subtle implication. I almost missed it! I presume you're referring to guns here? That gives him quite an interesting background - is that how he died? That would make it so much more painful. Clever writing though, hidden in plain sight.
It was supposed to look like an innocent kid's okay, why does it sound spooky? Just a tad awkward. Maybe like something endearing came across wrong. But that's just my two cents.
I see both sides here. The ghost seems to be very amiable, but there is still a chance that this could turn ugly. I understand not trying to fix what's broken, but I'm all for implementing precautions, just for the sake of safety.
My thoughts exactly! Rowan is not the one to talk. It was a long time coming confrontation. I'm hoping this would ultimately give us much needed answers.
I think I get what he means here. The man is prone to hallucinations from having hit his head. But I think ignoring the case altogether might be a bit negligence. It's a valid concern but they should check nevertheless.
That explains some parts, I assume he's Alice's grandfather then? The fact makes the story so sad and deep. The tragic backstory plays at the reader's tears.
It seems irrelevant to the plot but since you mentioned it, it must have a purpose. Will this secret be revealed later? Only time will tell. But it has potential to make an unexpected surprise side plot to the main novel. The mystery is really compelling.
Overall, this seemed pretty tied together. Unlike the previous one, the closing of this chapter felt more definitive and wrapping. It was nice to see Rowan again. But I find it a little odd that we stIll don't know what exactly all our protagonists do. It just feels like a hole the upcoming chapters should work on filling, to avoid any future ambiguity. The formatting could definitely use a little work but the plot is actually captivating. It almost looks like 'one case one episode' tv series on law. My favourite part was how you captured the little argument at the last and how graceful thr revelation was. A very unique read, I'm glad I could review it. Hopefully, I get to read the next chapters very soon.
For the formatting issue, I will fix that, I write my drafts in google docs, and I could've sworn I added the paragraph breaks.
Also to clear some things up, many of your questions will be answered, and Brooks and Rowan are girls, Jamie is a boy.
Thanks for reviewing.
God I'm horrible at replying sometimes, don't even ask how I came across this now XD.
Anyways, I relate to the vanishing breaks as well! YWS has a had time carrying over some structure details. And oops, I completely messed up the pronouns. Thanks for the clarification, I must have missed it in case it was mentioned beforehand.
Strange coincidence it's been exactly a month since you published this like wow. How are the next chapters coming along? I have a feeling it might've been sidelined for now which is totally understandable, life happens! Such is also the state with a novel project I had started so we're pretty much in the same boat.
School and debate have taken up a lot of time :/
A new chapter will be posted soon.