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by Soulfulwriter


Warning: This work has been rated 16+.

17 year old, Nubia Kaikara Lockenight has been plagued by bullies about her dark skin since elementary school. When the harassment finally takes a turn for the worse, her parents have no choice but to put her in rehab. After completing her six-month stint, Nubia feels better than ever and could care less who says what about her skin color. However, she faces a bigger problem once she gets back into the swing of things at home and her past demons come back to haunt her. Can she push pass them, become the successful young lady her parents want her to be? More importantly, can she become the person her sisters need? Or will she let the demons corrupt her into the life she once lived?


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383 Reviews


Points: 19607
Reviews: 383

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Tue Jun 28, 2016 12:02 pm
Sujana wrote a review...



Hey there. So this is going to be a bit of a short review, because you haven't given me much to build off of anyway, but I just wanted to speculate a little and see how the plot of this book might turn out.

When the harassment takes a turn for the worse, her parents have no choice but to put her in rehab.


Okay, so by now I'm pretty sure the first chapter I reviewed yesterday is this. However, since I already have read the first chapter, I'm now going to ask--what was the tipping point for this character? When did the harassment take a turn for the worse? Because, as far as I've read, it wasn't the harassment getting worse that sent her into rehab, it was the fact that she nearly killed herself. Like, three times if I remember correctly. So either: a) this description is a little wonky and doesn't portray what's in the book, or b) there's something else I'm missing from the book that you haven't told us yet. I think it's probably the latter than the former, so I'll wait and see.

After completing her six-month stint, Nubia feels better than ever and could care less who says what about her skin color.


See here, I find it a bit of a shame that you didn't hold the entire book while she was in rehab, because that's probably the place of most conflict. I mean there's plenty of conflict outside of rehab, but you know, being forced to go to a place where people assume you're stark raving mad is a bit hard to follow up. I guess coming out of the place and reentering society after being labeled as stark raving mad could be a little worse, but I still hope you have a couple of flashbacks in there so we know what it was like for her.

Alright, so I think that's all I can give you for now. Thanks for sharing this.

Signing out,

--EM.




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252 Reviews


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Reviews: 252

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Mon Jun 27, 2016 11:36 pm
myjaspercat wrote a review...



Hey Soulfulwriter,
Myjaspercat here to review what looks like another summary.

I feel like you might get sick of hearing form me... any who, like before since this appears to be a summary I am not going to go into to much depth with this review. Like before I'm just going to pick out my few nitpicks... Now let's get on with it why don't we.

1.)

17 year old, Nubia Kaikara Lockenight that's quite an interesting name has been plagued with teases and taunts by bullies about her dark skin since elementary school.
I think if you just put bullies instead of teases and taunts instead it would sound just okay.

2.)
When the harassment finally takes a turn for the worse, her parents have no choice but to put her in rehab.
I'm a little confused here. If their daughter is being harassed then why is she being put in rehab? Wouldn't her parents try to go to the police to file harassment or something, why rehab?

3.)
Can she push passed them, and becoming become the successful young lady her parents want her to be?
Hmm... I would really like to know the demons that were created from years of being racially bullied.

Alright, like before everything that I just mentioned are small nitpicks on my part and if you choose to ignore them then that's okay. I do have a few larger questions that I would like answered if possible... For one, what happened to Nubia that caused her to be put into rehab. I doubt that ones parents would put someone in rehab just for being harassed all the time, that seems more like a problem with getting the police involved. Also, what are these demons that you are talking about?

One last question, without trying to sound racist or anything, are you darker skinned? The only reason I ask is because, this story and the other one I reviewed for you both talk about a main character who is racially abused and such. That just made me wonder if you write about it because it's something you experienced or relate to. Anyways, Like I said, I don't want to sound too racist or anything. Good job and good luck, continue writing. --Myjaspercat






Thank you. I have made the corrections on one site, I shall make them here.




You cannot have an opponent if you keep saying yes.
— Richard Siken