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Hey,

Overall, I think you're doing a great job with the wording and emotional punch to this piece with the imagery and vividity of the examples. I like that.

What I think you can improve is a little consistency. What struck me as wrong was that you used dashes for the middle [this] but not the first or last one. They're the same type of sentences and everything, so just erase the dashes between "middle of the day" etc because you've made them unnecessary by not having them in "sad white underbelly" and such.

Aside from that, I feel like you're a little off-base with how you talk about growing pains. It's a little overused to say "no one warned me" and then list things like that which honestly, I have heard and seen warned to young people in things like movies and so forth. For instance, there are a lot of political movies where people just flatout lie with a smile, and some of the darker hero movies do the next. The last thing is harder to see, but there are movies that talk about it too, and school does teach about depression, so... Anyway, I think the only way you might be able to fix that, not that it really needs fixing, just that it isn't really that home-hitting for me personally, would be to pick personal things. Maybe instead of saying "how people lie to your face" actually name someone and say "How Ashley would lie to my face" and make it personal. "How Ashley, who I knew since kindergarten, would lie to my face, and enjoy doing it," that sort of thing. I think that would make it stronger, and give the reader more of a chance to sympathise.

Overall, great job, I like it a lot. Keep up the great formatting!

Just one word - WOW

You hurt me, Wagner.

I adore multilayered cakes. It's always the icing between that make them all the sweeter. In this case, melding dysphoria, ennui, and depression--while I won't say it's altogether new, it's wonderfully comforting to read and reread, and then commit again.

Your dog imagery is excellent and unexpected, almost proverbial in the contrast between the expectations between functioning dog v. functioning human v. functioning human male v. functioning human female v. functioning human NB. I appreciate it all, and it's possible that this appreciation comes from a place of closeness to the subject, how I adore Moon and Siken for their candor on love, hate, and gay grudges.

I will say that YWS formatting is not your friend. I suggest using a word pad, taking a screenshot, and posting the image file here via imgur. It's how I format my material and it's yet to fail me.

You also make some decent light commentary on the concept of spoons here, but it's not explored much.

Your flow is on point, but the formatting hurts you a crapton. I'd like to see it in a pristine form if you have it. And also, if they've changed, your pronouns because those things are important to me and many others.

Ty xo