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140,811 Literary Works • 673,693 Reviews
Nice, it was simple,sweet, and to the point. I loved how you used carpet in this poem. I don't know, I found that really unique for some reason... I would have NEVER thought of that so nice touch there. YOUR PUNCTUATION IS EPIC ! I joke saying I'm the punctuation poliece (just kidding) but I don't even know how to use this thingy ; ? 0_0 the dreaded thing I can not spell correctly ; but it looks professional. Anyhow I just wanna say awesome job!
Keep it up!
~Speakerskat
Hi there Snoweary, Roxy here!
I think that it is a lovely poem, i am not a big God believer myself, but I can still appreciate the feeling and emotion of this poem!
i think that the poem seems a little choppy, especially in the first two verses, maybe change it up a little to give it a smoother read?
I like the idea of using a line from a prayer in the poem, i think that you in corprated it nicely!
i can see that any errors have already been gone through, so I wont go through them again!
Keep up the good work!
Hello,
I like this, however there are a few things I would change.
"The path I walked carpeted
All in faded colors,
I stopped."
That, to me, seems a little choppy and doesn't flow correctly. I like the idea, but perhaps in a different wording? It definitely gave me visuals, which is a great thing for any author to produce from their poems. Second, "No, it supposed to go like this"; just a simple grammatical error. It should be,"No, it's supposed to go like this" or, "No, it is supposed to go like this".
Other than that, I love the concept of this poem. Very original, and very beautiful writing.
Keep up the good work.
~Kat.
You, just made me happy! Thanks for the comment. Yeah, sometimes my poem flow in awkward way haha.
Hi Snoweary I am here to review your poem my friend. So lets get started, It's a pretty good poem and it really is interesting.
1. When I read it the first time I didn't get it, but after reading it again, I have come to the coclusin that its about someone who lost their way of life. Correct me if I'm wrong.
2. It could flow a little better, so that it's a bit easier to read
Besides that it's a very good and interesting piece of poetry. Glad I could read it. Keep writing.
Hi catcha. ^_^ Yes,it is about a person who has lost his way in life but at one time, he realized it and repent.
Thank you for your review