As I walk through the frigid winter air,
my dry face feels damp.
A single tear, no more.
Downwards it falls,
against my forever frozen cheek.
As if one tear will compensate
all the things I've been through.
All the things
I've survived.
You, yes you,
You are the one,
The one who left me here!
Led me to th...this...
This madness!
The only thing I ever gave you was love,
And you threw it away!
As if the things you did
Would not affect me later in life!
As if
I did nothing for you!
I hope
Someday
You get what's coming to you.
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139,790 Literary Works • 672,769 Reviews
To the side, the way the titles are placed, it looks like I Survived The Play! Lol
To the side, the way the titles are placed, it looks like I Survived The Play! Lol
Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I will make these changes asap!
Hello there, Snorlax!
RachelLeeAnn here to review!
I really enjoy what you've written here.
You gave so much passion, emotion, and imagery in this!
Just a couple nitpicks...
Otherwise, it's great! Absolutely love the style and feeling of those piece.
Keep writing!
-Rae^^
Thanks for the advice!
Hi!
So I'm with Deadman on this one. It's an awesome poem, but the spacing feels a little off. But the formatting is fantastic, and it has SO MUCH emotion!
It actually pretty much sums up my life right now, which is both sad to think of and also a little comforting to find something like this. Really great work.
"That left me here!
Led me to th...this...
This madness!"
Those lines could be made to sound a little better. For one thing, 'that' should be changed to 'who'. Just a grammatical thing, but one that tends to irk me when people miss it, haha. Then, the next two lines sound awkward.
But otherwise, it's really great. I really like it, so keep up the good work!
Happy writing,
Toboldlygo
Thanks for the advice
Deadman here with a review for you. I'm blown away at this poem. I simply loved the whole thing, and everything about it! Nice format, splendid flow, and plenty of emotion. I can feel it, the sadness the pain, all of it. That's a great thing to achieve with a poem. Okay, onto the pro's and cons and such.
Cons-
1. No title!
2. "I've survived ." Weird spacing issues in a few spots, there's an example.
Not much wrong really.
Pros-
1. Emotion, you sparked much emotion with you're word choice.
2. Image, you created an image along with that emotion.
3. Format- The whole poem looks very neat and clean. It really boosts the quality of this poem.
Overall it was a great job! I really liked the whole poem. It was great word choice, great format, and lots of emotion! I can't wait to see more out of you. Until next time, happy writing.
Cheers,
Deadman XD
Thanks! Ill take the advice.