Dreams

I enjoyed this quite a bit. I found the imagery of the sky, dreams, and stars interesting. The lines "My mind clouds with dreams of you Only to wake up and see the truth." stood out to me the most. The ending was also nice and I liked how you reprised earlier lines for it.

Hi, Smetana! I’m looking to review, Hop recommended your poems, so here we are. I did lose the template I had going, so it won’t be a pretty review, but hopefully you still find it useful.

First of all, I thought this was REALLY good. I love the theme you chose with the stars, and maybe this is just my internal “giddy girl” speaking, but I couldn’t help cracking a little smile at the insertion of some old English, choosing to use “thee”. It works with the rhymes, and it just feels more romantic. The message feels clear: a sad one-sided love story, simple but sweet, always hits you right in the feels.

I think this line, “Watching the stars lose their shine and fall, like a beautiful sacrifice for the ones who fall in love”. It feels a little more abstract (nothing wrong with that, especially in poetry), but the way its worded is just peak. It makes me imagine shooting stars, just a classic romantic moment, and phrasing it this way, the death or sacrifice of a star, makes it feel more meaningful.

I also like this, “The bright light where stars no longer have to fall, because I can finally call you mine”. Sometimes, in poetry, I feel like metaphors like this get a little lost in the sauce, but this feels clear, understandable, and just all around beautiful. Nice.

Grammar, spelling, general structure: all of that looks great, so I really have no complaints. I know that probably isn’t the most helpful feedback for a review, but seriously, great job.

Hi Smet!!!! 'Tis I, HOP! Yes, I know, no need for the applause! I'm reviewing AT LAST!! I have a goal... I am going to beat cats... I got this... it's only like 70 more reviews... WAIT SHE HAS HER FOURTH STAR???? yeah i'm cooked... anyways enough of me giving up on my hopes and dreams and more reviewing about your hopes and dreams because i love watching them since i have no life <33333333


i really like to start off with judging your title since i am amazing and i am just like that. i have not read your poem and i usually don't read the poems till after i have done the intro and like judged the title... so i really love this title. i feel like it hints that it might be hopeful and like maybe a little sad? i have no clue to be honest. "dreams" is a really alluring name and leaves a lot of curiosity to the reader. it helps attract people to your poem and still leaves open the possibilities of what it might be about without giving too much away.


okay i just read it now and i'm going to give my opinion about the title now that i have read it i can just say wow. the title you picked really matches perfectly. it was not what i was expecting even though i know about your relationship status with them... OH RIGHT I STILL WANNA PM YOU ABOUT IT wait no stop adhd. yeah just overall nice job with the title because it works really well.



now, let's move onto your poem so i can sleep because it's almost 4:00 am... btw i'm putting my sleep aside for you so i can review this and i can't even think straight rn so that's why this review is all over the place. i can't even think straight nor can i type right. okay but on a serious note, i know that you just started poeting but i am actually thoroughly impressed with this poem. it is very tender and it's like soft but i can also see almost like it having a rhythm like a ballet (what am i saying i'm so sleep deprived) it really emphasized about falling hopelessly in love with someone you know you won't be with and i really like how at the beginning it was like hopeful and then towards the end you were just like BOOM. you really nailed that there. it's hard to do that and even some poets that have been poeting for years can't do that.


sorry this was so short and most of it was just me rambling. i tried my best but i am ever so sleep deprived and my eyes are getting heavy. you are really good at writing poems and i am really impressed. i have read your other and was originally going to review that one but i saw this one first and decided why not. i am really proud of you for trying to write poems because it turns out you have quite a knack for it and a lot of potential! i am gonna donate some points to you because i am just better.

ok well like always...

Stay writing! Stay awesome! Happy NovMo!

Love,
A very tired hop