Red House

personally I like the dominant use of Imagery and symbolism in the poem most especially the use of the word 'red' which I think the writer uses to symbolize a particular experience which the poet personae went through and is almost being dragged into we see this in line 1
'I thought I left this place'
But this time the personae brings out a feeling of defiance against it and tells the other person who is referred to as 'You' that she is done with him and his red gourd and in the process of her escape she frees other people or 'Angels' as they are being referred to to leave the bondage of the red house.

'I wont live in your red house
I'll save the angels and I'll run out...
And I'll make sure I won't have to like in a red house again.'

In the overall sense it's a very good piece of writing well done

Looks like we have a diamond in the rough.

The metaphors are good and strong. I'll probably never know what you meant them to mean because I don't personally know your life story (which I shouldn't, my being a random person on the internet).
And we all know that as authors, we write about ourselves, and as readers, we read about ourselves, if it is not clear that it is written about someone else.

Now about the actual work.

I'll assume the pre-chorus is-

Stop opening the doors of your red house
and recruiting angels
now
I swear you part the curtains
just so I can see the haloes fade

and the chorus is-

Stop building crimson turrets,
and manning poisoned harpoonst (might wanna fix that 'harpoonst' typo)
to drag me in
'cause I won't live
live
in your red house


Of course, being a reader, I could take this to mean just about anything, but I see this as the focused person fighting against horror and grief that tries to haunt her and drag her down and make her think that's just what life is, but she will never give in to the red.

The best features are the metaphors and imagery. In fact, as a music writer, that is the best feature for any set of lyrics.

All metaphors, however, are repeated in different ways, which may get old to some people, but because this is a personal song (and I have also done that) I can't really tell you not to do that.

If it's flexible, work on new elements for the song, if it's set in stone (which I think it is) you should just follow your heart/gut and let it be.


This had better have epic music, what else could properly compliment such a powerful song like that?

I love the all musicality of it even if it doesn't rhyme all the time , there is something to it.

It has a rock side I like and I'd see it with some sort of guitar instrumental.

Then to the story:

I love how the thing turns around the same subject which is the red house.We don't know much about it but it doesn't matter cause we get the all atmosphere of it . It could be anything to anyone so we can relate and this is good in music.

The Angels also are bringing something to the all thing which associated with "halo" and "cursed" shows that they are the victims in your story and it feels ( but I could be wrong) that they are trapped is some situation and need to be saved , but you are the writer and the poet in a way you won't fall for it so it becames almost epic .

Then the "you" and the "I" give more strength to the accusation , there is some kind of exchange we could almost think that you are facing each other in this song.

Finally if I can advise you something it would be on the shape , I would see some stanzas more this way:

"Stop opening the doors of your red house
and recruiting angels now

I swear you part the curtains
just so I can see the haloes fade"



"You keep opening the doors to your red house
And recruiting angels now,

I'll board up all the windows
if I see another halo fade"


"I won't live in you red house
I'll save the angels and I'll run out

I'll trash the turrets and I'll lock the doors
and I'll make sure
yeah I'll make sure that I won't ever have to live
live
live in a red house"

Because I think that there is some kind of repetition with the angels ( yes I know again) which could very well be some sort of " second "chorus after the " live in a/your red house" one.

That's all for me now so keep on writing you got the talent and hopefully you got the time .

...if it's possible to like this one hundred times, I would do so.