So just thoughts that were in my head about home not always being a place but a feeling one person can make you feel....so corny I know but anyways,I hope you like it! I might post a link to the audio soon.
Verse
I've got four walls
A roof above my troubled head
And solid ground under my feet.
This is what I've always called home
Yet it brings no comfort to me.
I've always craved escape
Wanted to run away
To some place that I don't know.
But you make those feelings fade
They melt like new snow.
Prechorus
When did home stop being a feeling?
You've brought it back to me.
Chorus
I'll let these walls crumble at our feet
Because you're my sanctuary.
Why would I need any place new
If I could be with you?
Because I feel at home when I'm with you.
Verse2
Sometimes this place has felt so empty
But I've had a full heart
Since you've come along.
If it's one thing being here has taught me
It's what feels right and wrong.
Prechorus
Now I know that home is a feeling
Because I feel it with you
Chorus
So let the walls tumble at our feet
Because you'r my sanctuary
I don't need to go anyplace new
I can be with you.
Because I feel at home
With you.
Bridge
This is my home right here in your arms
So don't let don't let don't let go don't let go
Final chorus
Just let the walls crumble at our feet
This is our sanctuary.
I don't need anyplace new
When I'm here with you
I feel at home when I'm with you.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,808 Literary Works • 673,689 Reviews
Hey there! GreenLight24 here with a review for you on this magnificent March review day!
Happy review day and never stop writing!
*
First of all, this song is pure awesomeness. In my belief, poetry and songwriting are the two emotional lie ternary forms and best lens themselves to the expression of feelings, such as love. Here, that is definitely on full display. You did an awesome job of writing a song that really expresses the feelings that went into it's making. I too write music, and I can tell you from experience that the best songs I've written have been the ones that I out my hear and soul into. I feel like you've done just that with this one. Lots of people write songs about love, but hat makes this song unique is the running metaphor of the "sanctuary" to describe your love for the song's subject. That was really cool because it helped to make this song unique and also narrowed down that enormous range of feelings that can be described by the word "love". Here, you did a great job of expressing the specific kind of love that you're feeling and that was very refreshing.
As far as constructive criticism goes, the only thing I have to say is that I hope you'll post the link to the audio because of definitely want to give this a listen.
*Disclaimer: I'm writing this review from my iphone instead of my laptop, so please excuse any typos
QuietQuilla desu!
I really like this! It made me smile just by reading it once, then I had to go back for more.
I loved it. The thought of someone finding that one person that feels like home.... Now many get that chance.
The wording of the text makes the reader want to read on, and thats what matters.
Keep up the good work!
I love corny little tunes, and this certainly was one Xd
Ain't nothing wrong with that girl.
'This is my home right here in your arms
So don't let don't let don't let go don't let go '
I hope you don't find this to be an insult: But you sound across between Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus when you write like this.
It's great, but develop more of your own style. I wanna see more SJ.
I think this work was odne more as a bit of fun. So it's great that you're experimenting with ideas and styles.
hahahah I try my best to put my own style into stuff and sometimes it just ends up sounding poppy but I guess it's not something I can really help. I did just write this in about 20 minutes because it was on my mind but I'll try to records it so that you can hear for yourself what it sounds like . Thanks a lot!