I feel the universe running through my mind
Don't mind the bloodshot eyes cause am not hallucinating
My life I know am just a butterfly
New sensations new realizations
There's a new feeling and I feel so up
I see rainbow lights and friends with funny faces
I am color high and I grace the world with a smile
You don't see me now but I see all of you people
I am deeply spiritual my faith in God is stronger
No more worries now and I feel so great
I'm like icarus I am flying to challenge the sun
I'm Prometheus I am flying to challenge the gods
This is Anarchy to my melancholy
No more depressive thoughts
No more devil on my shoulder
No more angels too
I don't need conflicting voices to fight in my head
My personalities are at one now they ain't fighting wars like way before
This feeling is fleeting while there's happy juice in my system
2 more hours I'll be different I want to change the way that I'm thinking
Make more use of this moment
Let that happy juice circulate
That burning feeling in my chest
Let the happy juice circulate
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Canary word: Present
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125,007 Literary Works • 672,817 Reviews
Oh my. I've never drunk vodka before, but it sounds like an interesting experience. There are some grammatical errors throughout the poem, but I get the feeling they fit the speaker's drunken state very well. "The happy juice," I couldn't help but laugh at this description of vodka. Indeed, drink makes people happy, at least for a while. I've never drunk before, but I'm not against drinking for the above reason. However, for the sake of his/her liver, I hope they'll keep the "happy juice" to a moderate level.
EverLight here with a review. This review is not intended to offend or hurt you or make your novel seem bad, but be warned- you may feel offended anyway.
First Impression
The poem is well written. It does a good job of painting a picture of joy...but I'm not a drinker, so I don't appreciate the message. But your poem illustrates way people ignore their health and drink-they care more about happiness then sanity. But on to the review-
Nitpicks & Grammar
There weren't any real nitpicks or grammar errors but there were a few sentences that were confusing starting with this one-
first of all cause would sound better if you written because, and you missed your I see-
Then the last thing, is you missed a cap here-
icarus should be Icarus.
So that's all the errors I could find. Happy trails!
EverLight Out