Quest Unable Chapter Two (Rough Draft)

You can find Chapter One here. http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/work.php?id=106317

 Well, let's see here. Where was I? Ah, yes. So, the stripper was shooting ping pong balls out of her pu-... Wait a second. That's another story. Let's get back to the one at hand shall we?

***

The heroes split up and acquired supplies for their journey and our fabled heroes are on their way to the forest where the demon king, Vajayjay has King Key's stolen property.

The forest is a dangerous place. It's riddled with wild animals and man eating plants. Not many dare to venture into the wilderness, for many never come back. That is why the people gave it the name Mourning Wood. Aptly named, as many families have mourned the loss of loved ones who journey into the dreaded foliage.

Sanchez and Felch stand before the entrance of the forest. Hot Karl walks up to them, seeming even more confident than usual. Sanchez and Felch watch in awe as Hot Karl comes closer.

“Wow, really?” utters Felch.

Hot Karl looks confused. “What?”

“Are you aware of what you're wearing?” Sanchez asks.

“Are you a poet or something?” Hot Karl replies to Sanchez.

“I just go with what I know.” Sanchez says with a smug look back to Hot Karl.

Felch interrupts, as he knows that this can go on for hours... He has witnessed it before. “I'm going to have to address the elephant in the room.”

“There's no elephant here. And we're outside, dummy. We're in front of this big scary forest.” Sanchez says snidely.

“There may not be an elephant, but there's definitely a trunk.” Hot Karl snickers as he stretches the elastic on the front his waist.

Felch shakes his head in disappointment. “It's a figure of speech. I'm talking about what Hot Karl's wearing.”

“In my pants!” Hot Karl belts out with a smile on his face, now pointing to his crotch.

“I've seen it and it's no elephant.” Sanchez says, as he tilts his head to the side and rubs his chin. “I'd say it's like the tail of a piglet. Or maybe that stubby tail thing on a rottweiler”

Felch and Hot Karl stare blankly at Sanchez after his statement. Their bewilderment is astonishing (as it should be). It's hard to figure out which question to ask first. Why, how, or when did he see it?

Hot Karl is the first to question Sanchez with his cunning statement. “First off, when did you see Hotter Karl? And secondly, you must be thinking of someone else, because this thing is-” Hot Karl grabs his crotch. “ri-dic-u-lous.”

“Yeah man. Why were you looking at it in the first place.” Felch asks curiously.

Sanchez looks at the two for a minute. You can tell that he is contemplating about whom to answer first. “I dunno. It was an accident.” He says sternly.

Felch waves his arms up in the air, grabbing both of the heroes attention. “Enough about Hot Karl's... Hotter Karl. Forget about everything we've said in the past few minutes and never, ever, bring it up again! Now-” Felch turns his attention directly on Hot Karl. “-why the hell are you in a ballerina outfit Hot Karl?”

Dirty Sanchez looks Hot Karl up and down. “I knew there was something different about you. I just thought you got a haircut. Why are you wearing that?”

Hot Karl glares at the two. “Guys. Are you blind, or are you just stupid? This isn't a ballerina’s outfit.” He huffs then shakes his head in confusion. “Why would I wear that?” He says with a scrunched brow and a swift shake of his head. “That would be absurd! It's a tutu. And it's no ordinary tutu. No, no, no my friends. It's a-” Hot Karl clasps both of his hand together and raises them over his head. He then slowly extends his arms out to his sides as he furiously wiggles his fingers. “-magic tutu.” He pauses at the end of his pose and his eyes dart back and forth between Dirty Sanchez and Felch. He huffs again. “A couple of little kids sold it to me. It was super expensive, but it was well worth the coinage.”

Felch holds in a laugh. “You're right. That would be absurd.” Another fit of laughter tried to burst out but Felch held it in once again. Only this time some laughter escaped. It didn't come out as a 'Ha' or a 'Ho', rather the laugh went straight to his sinus cavity and he snorts out as a small glob of snot. Luckily he wiped it off before the others noticed.

“Okay, guys.” Felch says. “We need to focus on our task at foot here. We have to go through this scary forest, find the demon king Vajayjay, and get back King Key's treasure. Enough fooling around. Let's go!”

With stern looks on the heroes faces, they follow Felch into the densely wooded foliage. Their bravery is unmatched with their stupidity. They hardly have any idea what they are looking for. As for a treasure; it can be virtually anything, and really, anyone can say that they are Vajayjay. But these three adventurers do what they do best. They go on adventures.